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Trying to Get Pregnant
Am I over reacting??
My husband and I have only been married a month, and we have started TTC about 2 weeks ago. I was on BC and stopped it, and now am taking prenatal vitamins and all. My husband and I can't wait to be parents, and have been talking about it from the beggining. The first week went fine. We were having sex every other day. Just a few days ago, my husband was having trouble getting aroused. This has happened maybe 3 times in a few days. I usualy don't have to do much for him to get excited, but this time I had to do a lot and I was a little discouraged. Even doing so, it was a softy and you could tell he was disappointed too because he didn't know why. I took it pretty hard considering this has never been a problem. I was convinced it was me that he was losing his attraction and he swore up and down that it wasnt. I then thought, maybe he's just not ready to have a baby. But I know him, and I know he is not lying when he says he does want one. I feel like this is an emotional thing for him and he is trying too hard to make it happen...which I am guilty of too. I think he is just focusing too much on getting aroused. I can't help but think that Its' our first month into marriage, our sex life is just going to get worse from here if this keeps up. I'm concerned that he will not be able to stop focusing on having sex just to have a baby and relax. We are only 22 years old. We should be able to have sex everyday, shouldn't we?? Is this normal?? We are not using ovulation kits or anything to that sort. I am just taking prenatal vitimans to prevent any complications when it happens. We don't WANT to have to worry about exactly when to have sex...we want it just to happen. But if this keeps up, I don't know if it ever will. =[ Please give me some advice! Is anyone else having this problem?? Thank you!
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Re: Am I over reacting??
Is there a reason you felt compelled to post this on the TTTC board and on the TTGP board? The TTTC board is for those who have been struggling to get pregnant for over a year...
Also, please use paragraphs to make it easier for us to read.
Performance anxiety is completely normal. I am sure your husband is still attracted to you... geez, you've only been married a month! You are probably just wearing him out! He's not a machine.
Take a deep breath and relax. Sex should be fun.
Some of the girls here have newbie links in their siggys. Read through it and lurk around here for a bit. Most of us chart using Fertility Friend. You can sign up for it (for free) by clicking on the link in anyone's siggys.
I think this is fairly normal. When DH and I first made the decision to TTC and our sex was now, were trying to make a baby, it was awkward for a little while. the very first time we had ttc sex, dh was so nervous! it was so cute. it was the first time he had, ahem, "came" inside anyone before. SORRY FOR THE TMI! lol but after the past 9 months, its just sex now. he will get better. a couple of time in the begining we were guilty of the "masturbate then put it inside and go" just because of pressure. you know this all has to do with his manliness. its a big step too, so think about his feelings! it will get better, just try not to make it BABY SEX. make it romantic (or rough, whatever you like) normal everyday sexy sex. dont talk about babies beforehand...
hth! and GL
Exactly my thoughts!
Ovarian cancer survivor
DH= low motility
2/9/11 lap & hysteroscopy- uterine polyp & scar tissue removed
3/25/11 IUI#1= BFP m/c; D&C at 7w3d (Trisomy 16)
IUIs #2, #3, #4 and #5= BFNs
Onto IVF #1= BFN
FET 4/6/12= 2 extended blasts transferred, with one hatching
Beta 1= 607; Beta 2= 1,564; Beta 3= 24,439; Beta 4= over 64,000
First u/s on 5/10= TWINS! Heartbeats 158 and 160!
It's a boy and a girl!
My Blog
Huge congrats to my beautiful BFPB lmj8284, due June 2012!
"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." -FDR
To answer your question, yes, you are over reacting. Calm down, your husband probably is feeling a lot of pressure to perform. If it has been the norm in your relationship to have sex everyday, then fine. But if you have been having sex everyday just to make a baby, he's probably just worn out and feeling pressured.
Like PP said, if you don't want to chart, try having sex every other day and definitely try to keep it from feeling like a chore.
Good luck.
It's perfectly natural to be excited when first TTC, however it seems like you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Just relax, it's been two weeks. If you just came off BC, you may not even be ovulating yet; for a lot of women (myself included), it takes months for your hormones to regulate and to ovulate. The EOD method is a good one, and can maximize on frequency, but if your H is getting worn out or can't perform, try backing off for a few days and giving the baby sex a rest for a bit.
Click on the Fertility Friend links at the bottom of most siggys, and learn about charting. If it's truly a performance anxiety issue with your H, charting will help you pinpoint when you are most fertile and you can focus on being intimate during that time. Charting is incredibly helpful, highly recommend it.
And in terms of your question about being 22 and it should be "normal" to have sex every day - not as black and white as you think. Sex is just as much psychological as it is physiological; it sounds like he's purely worn out or there is too much pressure on him right now.
GL
You two are really too young to be having "scheduled" sex. I am sure that your hubs is all sexed out. Young guys like/need to be passionate and spontaneous.... they get bored real easy and lose juice fast if the fun is taken out of sex. Relax, have fun just let it happen, enjoy being married, enjoy each other. You've been married only for a month, how long have you two actually been together, take time to get to know each other as a married couple. Enjoy,Enjoy, Enjoy
It'll happen for you 
This. (and yes you are overreacting like woah
She DD'd her post on TTTC...OP, don't DD...ever.
after anovulatory diagnosis and TTC for 1 1/2yrs with several medicated cycles and one chemical pregnancy, we have our first bundle of joy!
IT'S A GIRL!
#2 EDD 2/5/13 dx with anti-BIG E antibody, seeing a MFM
I don't take one single minute for granted.
OP, the link is at the bottom of my siggy. There is also a lot of other helpful information there, even if you are not charting.
Yeah...bad move on that one. It was my first post, and I had no idea that that's what the board was for...they came back pretty harsh, rightfully so. I just didn't know. I saw the headline and assumed that was it. Newbie mistake. Thanks for all your help everyone! You are right, I am over reacting big time. My middle name is worry. I guess I just wanted to hear that it was normal. I think I am going to do my fertility chart! =] Thanks for all your help everyone.
It's okay... now you know! And kudos for you for being so cool about our snarky-ish responses.
Lurk for a bit.... chart on FF, read Taking Charge of Your Fertility... and welcome to the board. I hope you stick around!