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Do you think this would be rude to do?

D_Nett86D_Nett86 member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months

My best friend is expecting her first child in late Novemeber and she just sent me her registry list and I feel like I want to suggest a few more things that I think she should add. I don't know if she will take it like I'm telling her I'm the best mom in the world and I know everything about what children need so this is what you have to have or if she will just be ok with it and be glad I suggested. KWIM?

She is pretty laid back and has asked me for a lot of advice so far so I feel like she would be open to my suggestions but I'm just not sure how exactly she would feel since she hasn't asked for my help with this.

Back when you were creating your registry would you have wanted someone suggesting what you should put on your list or not? I know a lot of times on the tri boards when another bumpie would talk about something I would review it and see if it was something I might like and if it was I would add it to my list so I loved suggestions.

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Re: Do you think this would be rude to do?

  • two-pink-shoestwo-pink-shoes
    I think that would be fine.  When I did my registry I took my friend who had a 6 month old at the time and she basically told me everything I needed.  I just picked colors/designs.
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  • annam829annam829
    personally, i welcome advice or suggestions =)
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  • QmommyQmommy member

    I had someone tell me to add some things and take a few things off when I made my registry and I thought it was great!  

    All you have to say is "this looks great!  I would add ___ and a few more of ___ they really came in handy with my LO.  You're going to love __, it's great that you put that on there."

    Keep it positive. 

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  • BelhurstBrideBelhurstBride member
    If I wanted suggestions I asked for them. Since she hasn't asked I would just leave it be. Not every baby/new mom needs the same things and at some point she's going to have to figure out what works the best for her.
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  • Mom_E224Mom_E224
    I don't think I would be upset or offended if someone sent me a "I couldn't live without" list. Maybe send her an email and not mention that you looked at her registry yet. That way she doesn't feel like you are looking down on her or what she put on it. I personally would stay away from the "take that off or don't put that on"
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  • LJR 84LJR 84 member

    imageannam829:
    personally, i welcome advice or suggestions =)

    This. I needed all the help I could get- most new moms-to-be have no CLUE what they will need!

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  • tyke29tyke29 member

    imageannam829:
    personally, i welcome advice or suggestions =)

    me too.

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  • someflower6someflower6 member

    personally, i asked the moms i knew right off the bat if they had any suggestions.

    i think it's fine to offer your insight, just try not to come off like a know-it-all like "oh trust me, you HAVE to have this..." there may be reasons why she's not registering for certain things. but you seem to be self-aware, so i'm sure you wont come off that way. :)

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  • D_Nett86D_Nett86 member
    Thanks for the help ladies! I definitly wont tell her to take anything off that she has on there because she obviously put it on there for a reason.
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  • bakedlaurabeanbakedlaurabean member
    If she's your best friend, than it's probably fine. I did that with my best friend. I started by saying what stuff I liked a lot on her registry and then just made a few suggestions of other things. I told her I had more suggestions too, but didn't want to be a pest, but for her to let me know if she wanted them (she did!). She also had questions about a few things she hadn't put on there yet.
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  • mandapiemandapie
    imageQmommy:

    I had someone tell me to add some things and take a few things off when I made my registry and I thought it was great!  

    All you have to say is "this looks great!  I would add ___ and a few more of ___ they really came in handy with my LO.  You're going to love __, it's great that you put that on there."

    Keep it positive. 

    This! I had my gf look over my registry who at the time was pg w/her 3rd baby. It was nice to have the perspective of someone who had 2 very different children too. What worked for one didn't necessarily work for the other. I agree with the keep it positive. I def appreciated her input.

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  • mandapiemandapie
    imageQmommy:

    I had someone tell me to add some things and take a few things off when I made my registry and I thought it was great!  

    All you have to say is "this looks great!  I would add ___ and a few more of ___ they really came in handy with my LO.  You're going to love __, it's great that you put that on there."

    Keep it positive. 

    This! I had my gf look over my registry who at the time was pg w/her 3rd baby. It was nice to have the perspective of someone who had 2 very different children too. What worked for one didn't necessarily work for the other. I agree with the keep it positive. I def appreciated her input. Maybe before you say anything aske her if you can make a suggestion so she doesn't feel like you're hijacking it...

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  • Pocky873Pocky873 member
    I personally don't think it would be rude at all.  When I told friends I was PG, many of the moms sent me massive lists of baby items they loved, and I used it extensively when creating my registry list.  I think it's super helpful, especially given the barrage of baby things out there.  I don't know how I would've managed without their suggestions. 
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  • missdanibmissdanib
    I think that it depends on how you present it.  My sister in law looked at my on line registry and said "it's obvious that you are a first time mom and have no idea what you are doing.  Why don't you just give me your log on and password and I'll go ahead and make the changes". Um F YOU! BTW, I really didn't end up needed anything that she said I would.  We are living just fine without a sh!t ton of crap. BUT I had a lot of other friends who had helpful suggestions that I followed. 
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  • D_Nett86D_Nett86 member

    I'm glad I asked you all because I have been wanting to say something to her for about a week now but didn't know how to say it without sounding like a know it all because I am far from that.

    I sent her a message telling her that her registry looked great and she had a lot of awesome stuff on there that she will need and asked her if I could suggest a few more thing. She loved that I did this and told me she wanted to ask me to look it over but didn't want to bother me.

    Thank you again for all of your suggestions on helping me with this.

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