Is it still PPD if you already had depression?
sammi2884
member
I think that I have PPD but I am not sure if it would be diagnosed as PPD because I have had severe depression before, I was hospitalized because of my depression and anorexia for 6 months less than 2 years ago.
My DH does not understand and is completely unsympathetic, he thinks I should just "get over it" and thinks that my crying and break downs are weak. I think he is sick of me being depressed and just doesnt care anymore. I don't know what to do, we just made a massive move to another province, are living with inlaws (and will be for a little while). I feel very very alone and my thought patterns are hitting the danger zone but I can't talk about it.
My health insurance hasn't transfered over yet because there is a 3 month waiting period so I can't really go see a doctor, I feel stuck and I am having trouble making it through my days, I just want to stay in bed and I absolutely hate myself for it because my DD deserves SO much more than a depressed pathetic mommy.
Also my DH is very anti drug and will not agree with me going back on anti depressants. I know that you all get a lot of these posts on this board and probably don't read them all but I just needed to get this out somewhere because I am feeling very alone and helpless. Thanks for listening.
Re: Is it still PPD if you already had depression?
First of all, you are not a pathetic mommy, you are dealing with strong emotions and you need someone to talk to.
Second, you are not alone. You may feel alone, but there are so many of us out there going through what you're going through. And taking anti-depressants does not make you "weak"...exactly the opposite. You are strong enough to know you need help. But you can't get help if you don't reach out for it. If hubby doesn't listen, find someone who will. Screw insurance. Go to a clinic, the ER, or find a doctor to talk to because you are important too. And so is your health, physical and mental.
If you are having scary thoughts, please find a doctor to talk to. We all have been there, but it's best to reach out as soon as you can. You've recently moved and had a baby, and those are stressful life changes. And keep telling yourself that it does get better. You won't feel this way forever.
Once you start feeling better, join a local playgroup (www.meetup.com) and get out and find some people who you can talk to.
Don't give up on yourself, mama! You can beat this!
Thank you for the quick response. I have joined a meetup group and I go to a playgroup every day almost. I hoped that it would help but I just feel even more alone and out of place. I know that this is part of PPD, when I moved I also cut everyone that I knew from the other province out of my life because I just can't deal with talking to them right now, I just want to be left alone but not feel lonely (I know that doesn't make any sense)
I appreciate the support, I really do.
I totally understand that. Sometimes having contact with your old friends can make you feel even worse because they aren't there with you anymore. I really think you should look up local doctors/clinics you can go to whether you have insurance or not. Are you close to your in-laws? Maybe they can help you out?
Another option is just going straight to your local ER and telling them your situation. They will see you even without insurance, and the can help point you in the right direction.
What you are experiencing could definitely be PPD, and it's SO important that you reach out and get help as soon as you can! I'm sorry you're going through it. There is help out there. If you reach a dead end with insurance and such, try visiting the Postpartum Support International website at www.postpartum.net. There, you may be able to find some local resources for support groups or therapists that work on a sliding scale to get you by until your insurance kicks in. That is how I found my therapist and a free support group in my city. Good luck! It will get better.