3rd Trimester

I really want to be angry, but I'm not...

A little bit of background before I start my rant: DH and I restore and fix-up cars as a hobby. One of our cars has been semi-delayed to due me being pregnant during prime working-on-car weather and his back injury (slipped and herniated disc).

One thing he really wanted to get done was to put new wheels and tires on the car, since that's something that we are actually able to do, with help. A few months ago he fell in love with this set of wheels, only to find that the company that makes them discontinued them for a while, and they wouldn't be back until sometime next year.

Well, the other day he found some guy on craigslist that was selling the exact wheels he wants for half the price WITH tires! Awesome, right? Except the guy lives in New Jersey, and we live in Maryland. It's like a 3 hour drive one way, which isn't THAT bad, except that I'm 2 weeks away from d-day, and I might be getting induced before then. I won't know until go to the doctor's on Thursday.

Here's where I think I should be angry: H says, "Well if they induce you on Thursday, I'll wait until Saturday to go to NJ."

I feel like I should be angry and upset that he doesn't think it's a big deal to go so soon after LO is born. But I have no idea when or if I will be induced, it's only 6 hours or so that he would be gone which is less than a regular working day, and it's such a good deal that even I think we shouldn't pass on it.

Basically what I'm asking is, would you be upset? I mean, part of me kind of is, but the other part of me isn't.

 

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Re: I really want to be angry, but I'm not...

  • If they induce you Thursday you likely won't be out of the hospital on Saturday.  If you go to your appt. and they say "yea, let's induce" they will likely have you check into L&D that evening for cervadil and not start any other things (pitocin, etc) until Friday morning.  This is at least how most of my friends with inductions have had it go.  Even if you give birth on Thursday afternoon somehow you won't be discharged until Saturday at the earliest.  And that is assuming no jaundice or other little issues newborns have.   

    Do you know anyone in the area that could pick them up for you and hold onto them?

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    I wouldn't be to upset. Like you said it is a really good once in a lifetime deal and its not like he is leaving you the day of or the day after. My DF had to go back to work the day after delivery and I had to have my sister take me home from the hospital which totally sucked but hey its life. Besides, a couple days after you will probably have so many visitors that will be MORE than willing to help you, that you probably won't even miss him.... 

    I do understand where part of you is kind of upset though. You never know, when your LO actually comes, he might change his mind about wanting to leave so soon. I know my was at first ok with having to work the day after our LO was born but after he was born and actually had to leave, he cried and did NOT want to go!

     Good luck!  

    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
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    I was induced on a Saturday and didn't even HAVE the baby until Monday (c-section).

    Then I was in the hospital until Wednesday.

    I'd be a little annoyed if the baby was already here, but most likely you'll be in the hospital anyway...  I'm sure he'll change his mind once he's there.

  • You're a very understanding partner!  I have to say, if I was in this situation, I'd be upset that DH was thinking of taking a mini road trip so soon after LO's birth, even if it is only 3 hours away and for a hobby you both enjoy.  After all, having a child is a pretty huge life event!  If I were DH, I'd tell the potential seller on craigslist that you guys are expecting very soon and see if alternate arrangements could be made to pick up the wheels/tires at a later date. 
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  • Every marriage function differently, and if this doesn't bother you, then don't sweat it.  I'm sure there are things my DH does that would annoy the bejesus out of some other women, but don't bother me because of how we function as a couple.

    My only advice to you is to remember what you choose now may come back to bite you later.  If you say okay to the plan, get induced, and have the baby, you may find youself changing your mind about being okay with being alone that soon.



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  • I say, if you're not mad don't be worried you should be. It seems like, if you get induced, and the scenario looks good for him to go, he'll go. If it seems like a bad time he probably wouldn't go. He could always call the guy and say "Hey, I want to come get them, but my wife is in labor. Can you hold them?" Nothing is set in stone, and if you were in the hospital there would be nurses to help. Not to mention if you have a bff or family who could sit in for him.
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  • I was induced on a Monday night (cervadil) had DS on Wednesday night and stayed in the hospital until Saturday morning.

     

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  • It depends, do you have any other family around that can help you out?  You are both dealing with the unknown right now and he is trying to make a good decision- he just isn't sure what that decision is.  It might be nice to have your Mom or friend come over while he drives to get the tires.

    I wouldn't be upset.  That is how I am.  I would just make sure that you have help available if you need it.

  • Thanks for all the input, ladies. I do have family here that would be there for me if he does decide to go. And like a PP said, if it's a good time he'll go, and if not he will most likely stay.
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  • Would it be cheaper to pay to have them shipped?
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  • No, the guy wants an outrageous amount to ship them :(
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