- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
3rd Trimester
F/U to dying FIL (what to do now )
I really wish this was one of those he "miraclously got better" posts , but its not . My MIL just requested my S/O presents at her house tonight ( i wasnt planning on going ) ,I figured to move furniture ( she uses this as an excuse ALOT to see him WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE IN MY EYES ) . Then she called me personally and asked if I was coming to , when I responded with "no" (because I am being induced tommorrow and I was going to honestly go to sears and get new tires on the car so I wouldnt have to worry about it in a month) she asked very nicely that I cancel plans and go with him .Im scared to know what she has to say , but then she called my mother ( we are currently staying with her ) , and told her that my FIL possibly has 2 -3 days .
My mother only told me what was going on because im overdue , im not handling ANYTHING well these days ... How am I going to handle this ?? My question before was to induce early ( not even early but on time ) , So now do I call and see if I can wait a couple days .... I dont want my sons birth to fall on my FIL death . I dont want this on my S/O shoulders right now . If his father dies .... I dont know if he will be able to be there for me during labor tommorrow , and I dont know if I will be able to be there for him while im giving birth .... What am I suppose to do at this point . Ladies I need some advice ...I dont want to be selfish but I want him here for his childs birth ...And I know he will never forgive himself if he is not there .. Any advice and Thoughts and Prayers are greatly appreciated !!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: F/U to dying FIL (what to do now )
I have no advice but wanted to say how truly sorry I am. I cannot imagine facing what you are facing right now and I am so sorry.
My thoughts and prayers are with you for the next days as I know they will be incredibly difficult.
I'm so, so sorry. I can totally understand how you feel and why. Just hang in there. I would probably keep my induction tomorrow, even though I know you don't want your LO to be born on the death of your FIL. If you wait a few days, you risk going into labor on your own with the same result.
And talk to your SO about it. Let him tell you how he's feeling and what he wants to do. I'm sure he wants to spend time with his father right now, but you can't do anything about the horrible timing of it all.
Again, I am so sorry.
wow... that's a really tough and sad situation. I'm sending thoughts and prayers your way.
I'm not sure what I would do. Did your OB express concern over your LO? If the baby's doing well, I might think about holding off induction. BUT since you have no idea when your baby will come and you don't know when your FIL will pass (and it seems like it's going to be around the same time), it's going to put your SO in an awkward and stressed situation no matter what happens.
So in that case, I'd go ahead with the induction if I were in the same situation. But again, no solution will be perfect or easy, it seems. I hate that you and SO have to go through this in what should be a happy and exciting time for the whole family.
This is a really tough situation for sure sorry you and your family have to deal with this. But I'm sure that your FIL would want his son to be there for the birth of his son and wouldn't want him to miss because of him (FIL). It's really want every parent would want I think.
Perhaps you S/O can spend the evening with FIL tonight and say his goodbyes now...so that should he pass tomorow or in a day or two your S/O will have had that time with him. I think it would be best for you to cancel your plans as well and spend that time. Life sometimes is just not convenient...it's life. You will probably really regret not saying good bye for something like buying tires...
I'm so sorry for what your family is going through. I would have your DH decide. If he wants to go through with the induction tomorrow then go ahead. No matter what happens, your DH is going to be torn, and it sucks. I don't really have advice, just wanted to let you know my T&P are with you and your family.
I'm sorry your family is going through this, I'll definitely keep you in my thoughts.
As for what to do, I would probably keep the induction tomorrow if for no other reason other than maybe your FIL will be able to hear the news that he has a new grandbaby.
My thoughts are with you and your S/O. I can't imagine having to deal with such sadness when you should feel only joy.
I would talk to your S/O and ask how he feels. Unless your induction is a medical necessity (not just "overdue"), let him decide if he can be your support. If he feels like he can, I would keep the induction for the following reasons: If FIL does pass away in the next few days, there will be a lot to do. S/O will need to be a support to his mother and help her with arrangements. If you put off induction, your LO could come at any point, making your S/O even more distracted by other issues. Going into labor at the fuberal home or during the funeral? That would be rough. Also, an induction does give FIL a chance of at least knowing his grandchild has been born - maybe even a chance to meet him. Plus, a new LO can really help with the grieving process. A good friend of mine had her first son a few days before her grandfather's funeral. Although the services were rough on her physically (she had a C-section), seeing the baby helped lift everyone's spirits.
I would go ahead with the induction tomorrow. Your FIL may have a chance to see his grandchild over his last days and it will likely bring him so much joy. Even if he doesn't get to see him, if he's coherent enough, I'm sure he'll be so excited about the new arrival and die even happier.
I'm sorry you're going though this. My father is terminally ill as well and it's been a really hard few weeks. It's hard to deal with so much sadness when it's supposed to be such an exciting time.