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Baby Shower WWYD?

dbertagnidbertagni
in North Carolina Babies

My neighbor is having her 3rd child and because she thought she was done (but then changed her mind) she has no baby stuff. She said she wasn't having a shower and I've given her a ton of stuff, including 3 sleepers, baby shampoo/wash, bottle holder for the dishwasher. I've loaned her a bathtub as well. I received an email from her today asking if she could also borrow my bouncy seat and mobile. She has also borrowed all the other big gear from another neighbor. I should also say these people do not need to borrow things (just bought a $32,000 new mini van), and can afford to buy new or used but I can see why she wouldn't want to.

I got an invite to a shower for next weekend and now I am torn about what I should buy her? I feel like I have given her and loaned her so much, I don't want to seem cheap, but then again I don't think I would spend what I usually would. I am also torn on what to buy?? She isn't finding out what it is. I don't want the other people at the shower to think I am cheap!

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Re: Baby Shower WWYD?

  • tracelinitracelini
    If it were me...I wouldn't bring a gift to the shower since you've already done so much for her. That may seem awful, but if I were your neighbor and you had already loaned/given me so much, I would totally not expect you to get me something else just because I'm having a shower. Maybe it's just me, but it's crazy to expect people to just keep spending on you if they've already gotten you so much before a shower was even planned.
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  • NatPhoto09NatPhoto09 member
    If you are a close and appreciate her as a friend I would get her a little something.  A lot of times showers are about the party not about the gifts. 
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  • dbertagnidbertagni

    imagenlsanchez:
    If you are a close and appreciate her as a friend I would get her a little something.  A lot of times showers are about the party not about the gifts. 

    I guess that is what is bothering me. Our relationship is basically standing out on the street chatting a few times a month, more so recently since we both are pregnant, I would consider her a good neighbor, but not a friend. When I told her I got the invite to the shower her response was "I'm sorry, I had to dig people up to invite to it"....

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  • Jules_NCJules_NC member

    imagedbertagni:
    When I told her I got the invite to the shower her response was "I'm sorry, I had to dig people up to invite to it"....

     

    Nice!  Tongue Tied

    If you plan to go, I think a small gift would be fine.  Target clearance?  ;)

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  • NatPhoto09NatPhoto09 member
    imageJules_NC:

    imagedbertagni:
    When I told her I got the invite to the shower her response was "I'm sorry, I had to dig people up to invite to it"....

     

    Nice!  Tongue Tied

    If you plan to go, I think a small gift would be fine.  Target clearance?  ;)

    yeah that is weird.  and I agree w/ Jules. 

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  • starz080starz080
    I'm with the PPs.  I'd bring a small gift, but nothing too extravagant and wouldn't feel bad about it at all.  It sounds like she just wants there to be people there and after all that you've given/loaned her, your presence at the shower and a small gift are definitely sufficient.
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  • lalabee0425lalabee0425
    How about a box of diapers? Maybe you can casually ask what she plans on using and give her those. I wouldn't go, but after what she said about digging people up to invite I would feel too guilty. You have already done so much for her getting her another gift is a bit much since she's not a close friend.
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  • Buttercup29Buttercup29
    We just had our shower and since some of the people coming gave us awesome hand me downs - we told them NOT to bring anything. One of them did bring a few baby books but the other did not. This is our first kid - so we are happy to just have people come and enjoy the shower - - and not worry too much about gifts. I don't think you need to bring anything, but that's just my 2 cents.
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