Trying to Get Pregnant

TTC, UTI, Frustration, a little ebarassement :)

OK,

How do I put this....

My DH and are have an amazing, loving relationship and never had any intimacy problems. But lately, I sometimes almost  dread the time when we have to get it on b/c it takes him so long. It's never shorter than 45 minutes! And don't get me wrong, it's awesome most of the time, but sometimes it's just too much. Like yesterday - 2 hours!!!! And now I have a UTI.

I of course never talk to him about it right before, during or right after the action but I did mention it to him a couple of times, that it just takes too long and what we can do to speed things up a bit. During the week it gets to be really "annoying" too since I then only get 4-5 hours of sleep lol

I love him, and it's awesome that he can go longer, but a quickie would be really nice, too at times. Any tips?? I've tried ALOT of things. We ended up with a toy for me to keep me going longer, not quite what I had in mind but I'm not complaining either haha Stick out tongue

Oh and I'm sure this has been asked before, but should I put off any "action" until I feel better? This is my firtile week though, so I don't want to miss out. Should I just go for it??? Embarrassed

TIA and sorry for TMI and the rambling...  

 

 

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Re: TTC, UTI, Frustration, a little ebarassement :)

  • Honestly your chances of conceiving while having a UTI are pretty low.  Your uterus would be a pretty hostile environment for sperm and probably be on extra defense to fight off germs.  Plus you'd put yourself at risk of it getting worse which can do a lot of harm.

    As far as speeding things up, you should talk to him about it.  Ask him what YOU can do to help him along.  And maybe you should add in something like a hand job or oral so its less intercourse time.  But if you do oral you'd have to clean off all the spit before having sex since you are TTC. 

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  • If you go for it this week it could hurt more and you could feel very uncomfortable. I have done this because I didn't know I had a UTI until after and I was in a lot of pain the next day too.
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  • Are you talking 2 hours start to finish or 2 hours of intercourse?

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  • Wow, 2 hours!  I can understand why you are frustrated.

    If you suspect you have a UTI, see a doc ASAP to get some antibiotics.   If you don't, you could end up with a kidney infection.  I've had one, and that was seriously the most sick I have ever been.

    You can still have sex if you want, if it's your fertile week.  Docs may not recommend it, but if it were me, I probably would, assuming I was taking antibiotics at the same time to clear up the infection.  It might be uncomfortable a bit, but if you can tolerate it, go for it.

    Also try drinking tons of water and cranberry juice.

     

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  • Thanks ladies! Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. I will have to take a break until I feel better... :(

    And we do a lot of foreplay, hand, oral etc, but still, sometimes I almost have the feeling like he just wants to keep going. So another convo will have to take place. I certainly don't want to make him feel uncomfortable or insecure as that can only make things worse. But we do have to figure something out. If I'm often in pain b/c of it or have UTIs then we do have to figure something out....

    Thanks again for your imput!! Always appreciated :)

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  • imagekerivp:


    Also try drinking tons of water and cranberry juice.

     

    Actually cranberry juice can do more harm them good.  Its packed with so much sugar.  Go for cranberry pills/vitamins. 

  • imageCeridwen21:
    Are you talking 2 hours start to finish or 2 hours of intercourse?

    Intercourse was about 1.5 hrs this time.

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  • imagekerivp:

    Wow, 2 hours!  I can understand why you are frustrated.

    If you suspect you have a UTI, see a doc ASAP to get some antibiotics.   If you don't, you could end up with a kidney infection.  I've had one, and that was seriously the most sick I have ever been.

    You can still have sex if you want, if it's your fertile week.  Docs may not recommend it, but if it were me, I probably would, assuming I was taking antibiotics at the same time to clear up the infection.  It might be uncomfortable a bit, but if you can tolerate it, go for it.

    Also try drinking tons of water and cranberry juice.

     

     

    Thanks! Yeah it gets a bit much HAHA

    I do have UTIs every so often and yes, I've had a kidney infection once as well and that is NO fun at all.

    I'll just stop by the clinic after work today, and hopefully that will take care of it quickly. I really don't want to miss out on TTC this week.

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  • God bless you for going for 1.5 hrs.  Try changing things up, different positions, places in your house, porn, talk about what turns each other on.  For my husband and I, TTC has allowed us to talk about what each other prefers in bed, what gets us excited which has definitely brought us closer.  Since we want to be able to BD every other day for about 2 weeks when I might be ovulating, we don't want it to get boring/draining.  Hope things improve for you!
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  • Thats why communication is key.  I've known guys that THINK women want long sex, so they make themselves last longer.  

    Question though, are you having O's long before he finishes?  Dh can make himself last long enough for me to O, but once that is gone he just wants to go himself! lol. 

  • imagebigbear:

    imageCeridwen21:
    Are you talking 2 hours start to finish or 2 hours of intercourse?

    Intercourse was about 1.5 hrs this time.

    God bless you! I couldn't go longer than .5 hour, never mind 3x that! I would definitely reinforce with him that you love how passionate he is about being passionate, but each time it needn't be a marathon. Tell him you want him to save those 1.5 hour sessions for the weekends when you can spend all morning in bed and really enjoy e/o or a weekend getaway or something, so they're more special. But for regular run of the mill weeknight bump and grinding... you'd like to switch things up a bit and change the timing.

    Well, you're definitely burning lots of calories :) Good for you!

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  • Definitely recommend the cranberry pills! I have a problem with UTIs too and cranberry pills are an absolute godsend. I take two every morning and then another two before we DTD. Also drinking a lot of water and peeing after sex can help prevent UTIs as well.

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  • imageBrookeBrooke85:

    Thats why communication is key.  I've known guys that THINK women want long sex, so they make themselves last longer.  

    Question though, are you having O's long before he finishes?  Dh can make himself last long enough for me to O, but once that is gone he just wants to go himself! lol. 

    I agree!  Or he may be focusing so much on getting there, that he gets too stressed out or something. Like I said we got a little toy for me so I can keep going so I O like 3-4 times! Embarrassed And that is also not good when TTC b/c you start producing more stuff that makes it that much harder to concieve....

    Well at least I can't complain that he's too quick and I'm left out Stick out tongue

     

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  • imageTanyaKM:

    Definitely recommend the cranberry pills! I have a problem with UTIs too and cranberry pills are an absolute godsend. I take two every morning and then another two before we DTD. Also drinking a lot of water and peeing after sex can help prevent UTIs as well.

     

    I'm getting the pills today! Thanks so much!

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  • imagejdsprincess116:
    imagebigbear:

    imageCeridwen21:
    Are you talking 2 hours start to finish or 2 hours of intercourse?

    Intercourse was about 1.5 hrs this time.

    God bless you! I couldn't go longer than .5 hour, never mind 3x that! I would definitely reinforce with him that you love how passionate he is about being passionate, but each time it needn't be a marathon. Tell him you want him to save those 1.5 hour sessions for the weekends when you can spend all morning in bed and really enjoy e/o or a weekend getaway or something, so they're more special. But for regular run of the mill weeknight bump and grinding... you'd like to switch things up a bit and change the timing.

    Well, you're definitely burning lots of calories :) Good for you!

     

    LOL it's not easy but yes, at least its a great workout!! Wink

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  • About having a UTI during your fertile week ... I had one last cycle just a few days before I was due to O and I actually ended up Oing after I was done with my course of antibiotics. So the UTI actually delayed things a bit. I don't think that happens for everyone, but I have heard plenty of women say that their periods are always late when they have a UTI, which would mean delayed ovulation. Hopefully that's the case for you, too.
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  • imageblackbird01:
    About having a UTI during your fertile week ... I had one last cycle just a few days before I was due to O and I actually ended up Oing after I was done with my course of antibiotics. So the UTI actually delayed things a bit. I don't think that happens for everyone, but I have heard plenty of women say that their periods are always late when they have a UTI, which would mean delayed ovulation. Hopefully that's the case for you, too.

    Oh really? Hm... well my period is never late (except last month so I got my hopes up UGH lol) but It could still be that the ovulation and everything gets a bit out of whack... Thanks for letting me know! Smile

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