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feeling guilty about wanting another?

oct92004brideoct92004bride
in Success after IF
anyone else feel guilty about wanting another?  I always told myslef I would be happy to be blessed with at least one well I've been having baby fever again! Dh was fine w/out having anymore but we both finally decided to see what happens and stopped using BC.  My OB gave me a 5% chance that we could conceive on our own but I'm not getting my hopes up- I did that for 2 years before I had our DD by IVF.  We have 2 snow babies, so now I guess we need to decide when we would try to use them.  Just wondering if anyone else felt guilty about wanting another? 
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Re: feeling guilty about wanting another?

  • mabst196mabst196 member
    I feel guility that my DD isn't enough for me. I didn't have any issues conceiving DD, but am having issues this time. Since I found out about my FSH level, I keep beating myself up about the fact that we may not have anymore children and being mad that my DD should be enough.
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  • AvaLikeLavaAvaLikeLava member

    Yes, I did/do. When we were TTC #1, I remember looking at people who were going through treatment for 2/2+, thinking "you already have one kid. aren't you happy with what you have?"... almost as if there was a limit on the total number of children that would be granted to all infertile couples. And then after G was born, I became one of those people that wanted more. I felt guilty.

    I do still feel guilty that we've been blessed twice when there are people still struggling with #1. So yeah, in short, yes.

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  • kellyloveszachkellyloveszach

    I did for a bit.  But I like to think of it differently.  The reason I want another so badly is that my DS is just so great.  I love him so much.  

    Growing up I always pictured having 2 children and I just couldn't give that up without trying.  I love the relationship I have with my brother and SIL.  I just wanted to give DS that opportunity.  However if we were only able to have one I would hope that I would be okay with it in the end.  IF is just a hard thing no matter how many children you have.  It never gets easier. 

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  • ShannonSkyShannonSky member
    I'm still hurting from a c/p in our last cycle, and I feel guilt along with those feelings every time I think of it. I do know I won't go to the ends of the earth to get pg this time, like I would have while TTC DD. But I don't feel guilty JUST for wanting another - I think it's natural whether you have IF or not to imagine your family a certain way. 
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  • desabeandesabean member

    I was really upset when I went back to try for number 2 and learned that I had additional issues that are going to make it even less likely conceive/carry to term than before.....so, I did have to remind myself that prior to having G I would have given my right arm for a baby half as cool as she is.  BUT....you know, I'm still allowed to want another so I wouldn't say I feel guilty.  I'm just trying to keep it in perspective in case it doesn't work out.  I am very blessed and it could be worse.

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  • dana316dana316 member

    Honestly, I don't feel the least bit guilty for wanting more children. 

    I have a wonderfully sweet, beautiful, and outgoing daughter.  She is the light of my life, but that doesn't stop me from wanting more children. I also want siblings for her, and I certainly don't feel guilty about that.

    It really has never occurred to me to feel guilty about it...maybe I'm alone in that, but it hasn't.  I am just as entitled to having multiple children as a fertile person, I just have to work a little harder at it.

    Don't be so hard on yourself...there is NO need to feel guilty about wanting more children.

     

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  • Mr.&MrsSMr.&MrsS
    imagedana316:

    Honestly, I don't feel the least bit guilty for wanting more children. 

    I have a wonderfully sweet, beautiful, and outgoing daughter.  She is the light of my life, but that doesn't stop me from wanting more children. I also want siblings for her, and I certainly don't feel guilty about that.

    It really has never occurred to me to feel guilty about it...maybe I'm alone in that, but it hasn't.  I am just as entitled to having multiple children as a fertile person, I just have to work a little harder at it.

    Don't be so hard on yourself...there is NO need to feel guilty about wanting more children.

     

    I agree with this 100%. You can be totally greatful, thankful and in love with your little girl and still want another baby. When we were trying for #2 I think some people looked at me like I should be happy that I just had a child at all. And I was SO, SO, SO happy that I had Brady. He was perfect and I loved him to pieces, but I wanted a sibling for him. I never felt bad about that. Before IF I wanted 2-3 kids and I wasnt going to let IF ruin that for me.

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  • perry7285perry7285 member
    i guess i don't feel guilty because my #1 reason for wanting another is that i think it would be good for DS to have a sibling. i think even if it weren't for that factor, though, i would feel entitled to want two given that all the fertiles out there can want two kids and it's no big deal!
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