ER visit and MIL vent

A*Bride · October 2010

So yesterday my DS fell backward off the last step and hit his head. I grabbed him and checked him over and there was no bump but 5 min later he threw up so off the ER we went. After waiting for 3 hrs they told us he was fine but to keep an eye on him and watch for any abnormal behavior. Well we had a trip planned to see my MIL who is 3hrs away in the middle of nowhere and so my DH called her and told he we would not be coming because of the acccident. I just wanted to hang at home and be close to a hospital just to play it safe instead of in the middle of no where. So last night she proceeds to send me an email about how upset she is that we are not coming and how lonely she is and a long list of other rants but never once mentions a thing about my DS or asks how he is. So I write he back and appologize for not coming and I really did look forward to going but explain the situation that DS could have a concusion and we need to lay low and once again she writes back how she just needs to stop expecting things from her kids and get used to being let down and does not ask a thing about the baby. I am so livid right now. I really don't get how some people can be so self centered. Should I write back or call and let her know how hurt I am about her lack of concern or just let it go? What is you experience with this type of situation?

Sweets2005 · October 2010

If it were me, I would write back and say, "DS seems to be doing fine, thank you so much for asking."

kimthgrt · October 2010

Sweets2005:
If it were me, I would write back and say, "DS seems to be doing fine, thank you so much for asking."

i like this idea. I probably couldnt hold my tongue and may tell her what I thought. If it were my MIL, as passive aggressive as she is, sometimes they just need it given to them straight. KWIM?

g8orell · October 2010

I would just let it go. There always seems to be some weird tension with MIL's. Let it go for your DH's sake. You never know if it may escalate or whatever. I do think she's completely wrong FWIW and I hope your LO feels better soon!

Jules G · October 2010

Wow, people can be so self-centered! Glad to hear that your LO is ok though, that must've been so scary!

dragon_chica · October 2010

Sweets2005:
If it were me, I would write back and say, "DS seems to be doing fine, thank you so much for asking."

You can also add that since her children can never seem to measure up to her standards you are no longer coming to visit.

But seriously, what does DH have to say about this? It IS his mom and he should be dealing with her since apparently he lets her down all the time.

dragon_chica · October 2010

Oh yeah, and I hope your DS is feeling better.

A*Bride · October 2010

Thanks everyone. DS is doing great today. Although I am back to being a hover craft over him all day. He is a climber and very athletic for his age on top of that he is really tall so it is a recipe for all sorts of trouble. I am getting used to the falls and bumps but this was really scary because I thought he had a concusion. My DH never seems to be bothered by her, I guess if you grow up with crazy you don't know any different and it normally doesn't bother me but when it comes to my DS I turn into the mad mama bear I guess.

mlwurster · October 2010

When my MIL starts talking like this. We remind her that planes and cars go in both directions.

EastCoastBride · October 2010

I think I would write back "I'm sorry to hear that your son being a good father and putting his child first, who could have had concussion, is so disappointing to you. DS is fine now, by the way. Thanks for asking.".

LoveEeyore · October 2010

You poor thing. That's enough on your plate- bummer that she needs to add to it. I have the loony MIL too. We even went to a therapist with her to figure out her problem.

I would be inclined, in your case, to reply "Sally, Thanks so much for sharing your feelings with me. As a parents of a little one, when emergencies come up, we are still learning balance our child's needs first with those of others. We really are trying our best! I'll let DH know to look for your call to set up another visit soon. Sorry we missed you this week!"

And as you hit send, mutter "crazy ole bat" under your breath!

BeanieWeanie · October 2010

EastCoastBride:
I think I would write back "I'm sorry to hear that your son being a good father and putting his child first, who could have had concussion, is so disappointing to you. DS is fine now, by the way. Thanks for asking.".

I'd want to write something like this - it's more to the point. If it was me, I'd put it in nicer words, but remind her that you are both just putting your son first. Definitely make a point that it's upsetting that she doesn't seem to care for his well-being at all though.

Amymichelle925 · October 2010

My response would be to invite her to visit you instead. Obviously she is emotionally fragile and dramatic, I wouldn't want to feed into any of that. It's disappointing that she hasn't inquired about the well being of her grandbaby, but she sounds just too wrapped up in her own emotional issues to even be aware of any of it.

Echowysp · October 2010

I'd let it go. Whiny women don't change.

Want a personalized experience?

ER visit and MIL vent

Re: ER visit and MIL vent

Choose Another Board

Search Boards