Dear DH

natalee215 · October 2010

I haven't been on here at all today because C wanted to be entertained all day with the exception of a morning nap when I caught up on work email and called my boss. I desperately need this Dear DH...

Please stop making me feel like crap for not doing anything. I'm really sick of hearing day in and day out about how lazy I am and how I've accomplished nothing over the past 12 weeks. Should I stay in bed tomorrow and not make your coffee and lunch? Then leave the baby in crib all day not fed and changed? Should I not keep the house straightened up? Should I not make dinner? Since I won't bother to even take her out the crib in the morning, I guess I won't have to worry about getting her to sleep either. I really want to live up to my reputation and make sure that I do nothing again tomorrow. When you continue to tell a person every single day how they do nothing, it starts to take it's toll. Keep in mind that I feel bad enough about myself right now knowing that I have to go back to work in a week and that I don't fit in to any of my clothes because I still have 20 pounds to lose despite the fact that I hardly eat. Your implications of my worthlessness aren't helping the situation.

ETA: It also makes me feel extraordinary when you go out of your way to comment on how nice I look. I love hearing "you could at least bother to get dressed in the morning in something other than sweats."

Not so affectionately,

Your wife who has had enough

ash.flea · October 2010

That's awful

I'm so sorry! He deserves a swift kick for treating you like that. This weekend you should take a day off and let him see how much work you really do in a day.

ludyjanboltz · October 2010

I've been wondering about you. I didn't think you had been on here the last couple of days.

Sorry he's saying this crap to you. It's amazing how much gets taken for granted. It drives me nuts when I get a few hours "off" on the weekend and I come home to a house that has dirty dishes everywhere, dirty laundry everywhere, etc.

He definitely needs to have a day on his own so he can see just how much work you actually have to do during the day to care for your daughter.

dani_girl08 · October 2010

Sounds like you need to show him what a day of doing nothing would really look like. You know, dirty house, dishes everywhere, laundry piled up, you get the drift. Then, mommy needs a spa day while daddy gets to experience what a few short hours flying solo with a baby feels like. And, since he thinks it's so easy, he should go ahead & take care of all of the chores you left for him on your day of doing nothing. Big {{{HUGS}}}, & I hope you get feeling better soon!

natalie115 · October 2010

Oh sweetie! That's just awful, I can't believe he would say that stuff to the mother of his child. You need to say something to him and let him know that it's not okay to say such hurtful things. You are a wonderful mother and wife, don't let him make you feel otherwise (((hugs))) *disclaimer* I didn't read the other replies so if this is super repetitive I apologize

FutureMrs.McC · October 2010

I'm going to get Tammy to throat punch him. I'm really fuucking angry right now. I'll be in Philly tomorrow and can do it myself if you like. Please do not make him anything tomorrow.

libertadw · October 2010

Natalie, you need to tell him that words liek that do nothing but make you feel bad, and now is not the time to make you feel like that. You should tell him that you know he is working hard, but you are also and that he needs to take care of her for a whole day. He will quickly see how hard it is.

Izzybeth3 · October 2010

Wow natalee I'm so sorry. I agree that he needs to see what actually doing nothing is like, or to deal with it himself. Sending you lots of hugs

MmeBP · October 2010

libertadw:
Natalie, you need to tell him that words liek that do nothing but make you feel bad, and now is not the time to make you feel like that. You should tell him that you know he is working hard, but you are also and that he needs to take care of her for a whole day. He will quickly see how hard it is.

This.

I'm sorry Natalee! Big hugs!

Ashleysred · October 2010

I see spa day in your future. At least three hours where he is alone with Miss Caroline. It is ridic for him to say mean shiit to you. I agree, don't make him lunch or dinner or coffee.

I am so angry for you. He's just being mean.

alisonpilgrim610 · October 2010

Gah! WTF is wrong with him?

I'm sorry he's being so nasty. You should definitely tell him how you feel though. At the very least, tell him he's hurting your feelings. that's such crap.

and then like others have said, really show him what it would be like if you did nothing all day. Let him make his own friggin lunch & coffee! & then give him some of that alone time with C.....

I'm all about proving points!! LOL

Lots of hugs for you!!

nataliejp519 · October 2010

I'm sorry, Natalee! I hope today is going better for you with DH and you treat yourself this weekend. HUGS!

Kahtie41 · October 2010

I totally agree with everyone else. He needs to put himself in your shoes for a day - heck, even just a few hours!

For some reason the comment on your clothes really got me riled up. I mean, wtf are you supposed to wear?! Besides the fact that your body is different and your old clothes aren't fitting right, what the hell else is a woman supposed to wear when she is spending her day cleaning messes and dealing with various baby bodily functions?? I'm not saying that women should just give up forever after having a baby, but sheesh, you just popped her out! These things take time. Ugh, I don't understand why men think it's okay to open their mouths when it comes to this stuff.

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