Attachment Parenting
THIS is EXACTLY what I am talking about...
Some of you may remember my post about the 0-3mo. craze of STTN a few days ago.
This is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. It breaks my heart thinking that this little girl is hungry but her parents just 'know' she is 'dependent' on the bottle to fall back asleep and so she isn't being fed. That's just awful. It would break my heart if I had to do something like that to LO. Her baby is 3mos. 2weeks!
ETA: I realize my original reply was a little b!tchy, so I edited it. This is just a hot button issue for me, I think there needs to be better education on normal infant sleep patterns. I'm not trying to be on a soapbox about it, or stir up sh!t, It's just SO frustrating. My month board usually isn't that bad about it...
This is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. It breaks my heart thinking that this little girl is hungry but her parents just 'know' she is 'dependent' on the bottle to fall back asleep and so she isn't being fed. That's just awful. It would break my heart if I had to do something like that to LO. Her baby is 3mos. 2weeks!
ETA: I realize my original reply was a little b!tchy, so I edited it. This is just a hot button issue for me, I think there needs to be better education on normal infant sleep patterns. I'm not trying to be on a soapbox about it, or stir up sh!t, It's just SO frustrating. My month board usually isn't that bad about it...
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Re: THIS is EXACTLY what I am talking about...
I tried to write a nice, somewhat helpful post. I definitely think people are under-educated about what to expect with babies and sleeping and self-soothing. It is very uncommon for a 3 month old to sleep through the night or to not need food.
The sentence about being sleep deprived for 4 months made me laugh though. I never thought I would still be getting up several times a night when my kid was almost 2 (though he has gotten soooo much better!).
I know what you're saying, and it's annoying how much similar discussions appear on 0-3, but I've seen worse. I also have to LOL at "She's currently still waking up at least 2x per night...I think we're at our wits end from not getting a good night sleep in almost 4 months." Seriously? What did you expect?
I know my DD is way worse than average, but last night she only woke twice (mind you, one was an hour-long meltdown) and that was a fantastic night for us. I would jump for joy if that was the norm, and she's almost a year older than that baby.
ETA: EcoBaby, looks like we're on the same page.
Agree. It is quite funny, before we had DD, DH was always talking about how difficult it would be with all the night waking and how much he was not looking forward to that (but of course looking forward to everything else). That was never such a big deal for me and although we don't have the best sleeper and are going through a tough period now (DD sleeps only 45 min- 1 hour at the time, although the last few days we have seen huge improvements, a 1 1/2 hour nap today!) I don't think it is so bad at all. Ironically DH now says it was not nearly as bad as he had feared.
This is what I went into parenthood thinking, so I've never felt surprised or upset by being woken up several times a night. I also have no expectations of what my child should or should not be doing at any certain age. I was a horrible sleeper as a kid, I was still waking up 1-2 times a night up until 7-8 years old, I believe. I remember when I got old enough my parents finally told me to go downstairs and turn the TV on and not wake them up.
that sounds fair. your baby is old enough to self-soothe when they can amuse themselves and get their own midnight snack from the fridge!!
This is exactly why I tend to stay on this board rather than 0-3. I never thought that my LO would STTN this early. I actually fully expected to be up every hour with a screaming baby day and night and never EVER sleep. Compared to what I had in my mind, reality is cake!
Not to mention, you ladies are way nicer and far less petty than the majority of the moms on 0-3. So glad I found "home" on this board.
Ditto. I can't be "nice" about it either. I think it's disgusting when people try to force newborns to do things that are potentially harmful (like not feeding a hungry baby) to make their own lives easier.
Haha, I definitely think my parents we justified in telling me to amuse myself after 7-8 years! I didn't have any sort of problem or nightmares, I just would wake up and sometimes need more than an hour to fall back asleep... If I ever had an issue I knew I could always wake them.
I'm an occasional lurker on this board, but the post referenced here has my panties in a bunch for sure! Why don't people get that if nothing else is soothing your child, they are hungry?! We were lucky with DD that she did start STTN around 3 months. (By which I mean sleeping for about 6 hours, no she sleeps 9 or so.) This meant I would get 3 or so hours of sleep, cuz normally I'd stay up to do laundry, eat, talk to DH, etc.
To this day, I get up if DD cries for longer than 5 minutes at night, which is super rare. Normally she doesn't make a peep when she wakes up, and occasionally she'll cry for 1-2 minutes, but if she cries for 5, I know she needs something. It hasn't been food in quite a while, but if she doesn't feel good she might want to be held, etc. And at almost 13 months old, I have no problem getting up and doing this. I am her mom and that is what I'm here to do! I can't believe these parents not being educated enough to know that if a 3 month old cries with hunger, s/he needs to be fed.
THIS IS THE ORGINAL POSTER HERE
Wow ladies... okay I want to make one thing absolutely clear! I AM FEEDING MY BABY! Of course I feed her when she's hungry, even in the middle of the night. All I was referring to was trying to sooth her with a bottle only for just a few minutes to see if that worked and then giving her food until she started to drift to sleep. Even with all the bunched panties... and yes, there were some... thank you everyone for their advice. We do realize now that we might be expecting too much from DD and we have eased back on our sleep training approach. I'm just confused as to why my LO is still waking up at least 2-3x per night (12a, 3a, 6a) when so many other babies are not. I'm not angry with her, I'm not disappointed in her, just simply confused. And while I realize that every baby is different, I just wanted to make sure we weren't doing anything wrong that might be perpetuating this for her (like feeding her to often during the day or giving in to feedings too quickly in the middle of the night). DD is feed on demand and she doesn't just get a set number of ounces to drink... she is given a full bottle but stops herself at around 3-4 ounces, every time.Again, please DO NOT think I am not feeding my child.
It's amazing though how you ladies can read someone else's plea for help but then just jump all over them without really understanding where they're coming from! I was simply asking for advice and you attacking me certainly does not help. I can't believe you would honestly misconstrue what I said as that "I don't feed my child". amazing and you should be the one who is ashamed of themselves... please try not to jump to conclusions next time...
The OP never once intimated that she wasn't feeding her baby..not sure where you all got that. SOME babies DO sleep through the night... my EBF son does (or at least he did until the 3 month growth spurt this week). When he wakes up hungry in the middle of the night I nurse him, but most nights he doesn't!! You are all acting like its not possible unless someone is starving their baby...my goodness!
Well said! Thanks girl!
I also don't see how the majority of the posters on this thread got that the OP was starving her baby at night. What I understood was that she is having a problem with her LO falling asleep while feeding, and now she is worried that when she wakes up at night she is unable to go back to sleep on her own b/c she has been conditioned to fall asleep with a bottle.
I see the original post as a question as to how to teach her LO to self-soothe, something that babies need to learn how to do. I see nothing wrong with her question, except for maybe limiting how much she will allow LO to eat at night, but I highly doubt she is depriving her DD from food.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO RESPOND TO EVERY POST!
If you don't agree why be an a$$? You are criticizing the OP for being confused... seriously? I'm sure you are all "perfect" mothers who understand absolutely everything about your babies, right? And I'm sure you've made all the right decisions thus far?
Didn't think so.
Just move on and forget about it and if you insist on coming to our July board to impose your 'wisdom' on those of us who are 'undereducated' at least abide by the golden rule: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!
This doesn't mean you have to agree or encourage actions that may not be what you would do or even that you can't state your opinion, but at least have some tact and be respectful!