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December 2010 Moms
I have to vent (shower related)
I'm sorry to vent about my shower, but I'm pretty livid right now. My shower is this weekend, and I just found out that the list of people that I provided of who to invite was "widdled" down prior to the invites going out. They cut about 10 people off of it (there was a total of 50 on the list all together). WTF? Why ask for a list and then cut whomever you want from it? I am grateful for having a shower, but I'm sure I'm going to hear it from some people who "didn't make the cut" on why they weren't invited. I really hope people don't get offended. If my mom wanted some kind of max # to invite, I wish she would have told me, but she said to put down whoever I wanted; she didn't care about the number. The more the merrier was her words I believe. At least if she told me to limit it I could have widdled the list down myself.
*sigh* vent over...thanks for listening.
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Re: I have to vent (shower related)
It is okay to plan and throw your own shower
I'm sorry about the drama around yours. Your mom should have told you before hand if there was a limit or if there were people she didn't want invited.
From what it sounds like it was mostly my SIL who thought some people didn't need to be invited. She talked to DH about it and he was okay with them not being invited, but he decided not to tell me until two days before the shower, so I'm a little peeved at him as well right now. He would only tell me one of the names, so I'll be interested to see who the other were come Saturday. Whats ironic is if this was reversed and I suggested cutting people from her baby shower list she would freak. For all the showers I have been involved in we have NEVER second guessed a name on the list. If that is who the mom-to-be wants at the shower, then thats who will be invited. Thats what I've always gone by anyways. Grrrr! I'm so fired up right now! I really hope they didn't "cut" someone that I already told was invited, now that will be embarrassing!
Thanks MrsTechie..it feels good to know that I'm not overreacting! I think if I tried to throw my own shower I would be stoned. Its just not done in our area, unfortunately!
I would also be very upset!! That's not cool at all.
I know you said you can't throw your own shower, and I get that. Can you call the people that were missed & apologize? I would be so embarrassed about that gaffe. I might explain that I IN NO WAY am expecting a gift, but wanted them to know that I was planning on including them & explain what happened.
Ugh, that's a really terrible spot that you are in. sheesh.
I guess the good thing is no one has said anything YET that they weren't invited. Hopefully it goes unnoticed, but that's highly unlikely especially with the days of FB. Just say your family made up the guest list and for those who you may have told they were invited, I have no help there.
I agree, it's embarrassing.
Agreed that 50 is a lot - BUT if mom wanted to limit the guest count, she should have told her instead of cutting the list herself. What if Mom didn't know and cut a close friend?
My little man at 0-1-2
Well, with 2 days to the shower Id just say...relax, go with the flow, show up, and ENJOY it. Its nothing to worry or stress about. My friend and I had a double baby shower 2 weeks ago---invited about 25 people in all and ended up having about 10. It was AWESOME. It was intimate and fun. I think anything over 20 people gets overwhelming anyways, so maybe it happened for the better. We knew that we were only able to have a limited shower, so when people asked why they werent invited...I simply said...I was limited, nothing more and they understood.
Ditto this. I don't think OP sounds ungrateful. If Mom realized she couldn't handle a 50 person shower, Mom should have consulted with OP about the invite list.
OP - I'd be upset too. But maybe Mom/SIL thought asking your DH was just as good as asking you directly??
Yeah, I guess I'm just frustrated because she was telling me to invite anyone and everyone that I wanted to be there; that she was not at all concerned about the count. I'm just going to go with it, like PP suggested, especially since its only two days away.
I'm not trying to sound ungrateful at all...I am very blessed to have such a wonderful supportive family, and I absolutely appreciate everything they do. I guess I'm more frustrated that they didn't give me a heads up in the beginning so that I could have narrowed the list down myself. It was just a bomb dropped on me at the last minute, and I kinda freaked!
As far as the 50 people, that is the norm in our family/circle of friends. We always do one big shower and usually a bunch of people help throw it. I think theres about 6 people helping out with this shower. My bridal shower was the same amount, and SIL's showers were actually a little larger. We like to get everyone all together at once and have one big day out of it.
PS -
Sorry for the long winded replies! I just realized they are novels!