Is Ignorance Really Bliss?

Ashleysred · October 2010

If there was a book all about what to expect from your body PP, would you really have read it? Would you have decided ignorance is bliss and your mind was made up baby it is?

Did you really want to know everything that happens to your body PP, or everything that could happen PP?

chickymel · October 2010

for me personally... I'd read the book. I'm a planner and list maker and need to know all possible situations and outcomes of something (drives DH crazy!). I don't think it would change my mind about having kids, but for me, I need to know what might happen ahead of time.

Which is why I'm watching births on youtube and FREAKING myself out. We aren't doing any of the birthing/prenatal classes at the hospital because they are way too expensive. So I am trying to read/watch everything I can find. Its horrifying to watch!

Ashleysred · October 2010

OMG, Mel, I totally feel you. I did the same thing, watch too many labor videos and freak myself out. I watched a water birth when we were thinking of doing the whole labor thing in a birthing center. I was horrified at the video we watched.

So the lady delivered in the tub and everything was beautiful and perfect. Baby is healthy, mama is happy, daddy is crying. Then the midwife pulls out the placenta and waves it around. And puts it BACK in the tub. Where mommy, daddy, baby still are. In the bloody, placenta water. Ew.

Then the older daughter got in the pool with them. In the bloody, placenta water.

It was beyond anything I ever wanted to see. I stopped watching YouTube birthing videos after that. I just couldn't risk seeing something that nasty again.

niuchick21 · October 2010

I would read it, and I DO want to know. Like pp said, I'm a researcher and a planner, I like to know all possible effects even if none of them happen to me. I don't think there's anything that anyone can say to make me change my mind about having kids. I think the child is worth more then any changes to my body.

MmeBP · October 2010

I think I would have read something like that but in the end would have been disappointed. Every woman and every body is different.

***Please don't flame me***

My body is actually better PP than it was pre-preg. I weigh less and somehow I managed to keep a little extra in the chest (which was highly lacking before).

I agree with pp that any change (good or bad) could have hindered my decision to have children.

chickymel · October 2010

Ashleysred:

So the lady delivered in the tub and everything was beautiful and perfect. Baby is healthy, mama is happy, daddy is crying. Then the midwife pulls out the placenta and waves it around. And puts it BACK in the tub. Where mommy, daddy, baby still are. In the bloody, placenta water. Ew.

I think I watched the same one, or maybe its just standard... but I was so grossed out by this!! I'm not considering a water birth anyway, I just wanted to know what one was all about.

I'm also amazed (and horrified!) by all these women that have someone videotape it and then PUT it on youtube!! Especially since many show their faces and stuff too. They want their vajayjay out there for everyone to see???

I keep going back to watch more because I feel like I need to be prepared. But I literally sit there watching with my eyes bugged open and my hand over my mouth in fear. haha.

Ashleysred · October 2010

chickymel:
I keep going back to watch more because I feel like I need to be prepared. But I literally sit there watching with my eyes bugged open and my hand over my mouth in fear. haha.

HAHA! I totally did the same thing! It is a trainwreck. For sure. You don't want to see but you can't help but not look.

mrsquetee09 · October 2010

i totally agree about the planning aspect. DH and i watched you tube videos too. in the end he was glad he did because he said it really helped him know what to expect visually.

i'm actually in the middle of writing a blog post about post-labor reflections and the reality of the pp experience.

i was surprised at how emotional i was after. the physical part wasn't that bad; i'm 10 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight, but i had a 4th degree tear and healed in 2 weeks. however, what i've really been disappointed about is losing my booty. it's even more deflated compared to pre-pregnancy, and it was so nice and round during pregnancy (DH loved it!).

overall the pregnancy/birth experience has definitely caused me to delay when i'm having the next one. before i was thinking i would TTC when nia was 14 months but now it's going to be when she's around 3 or 4. it really is a 19 month physical commitment for one baby as it's 10 months for pregnancy followed by 9 months to get back to pre-pregnancy.

[Deleted User] · October 2010

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Buttercup29 · October 2010

stlucia_wife:

No way! I don't want to add stress when not needed. I am already freaking out about it from what I heard from you ladies and I am only TTA for a bit more.

I still love you ladies and I am kind of glad to know what I do know so I won't freak out as much. Make sense?

Right on. I am so glad there are things I didn't know before I got pregnant. I don't think I would have if I did know - which half of the stuff I have read didn't happen to me. We are skipping the birthing class as well because it would freak me out even more to think about all that can go wrong. Lately all I hear about are all the bad things about being pregnant and it's really sad - - I know everyone is different but I've only heard ONE good story and it involved a c-section. I don't mind being educated on labor and I'm okay with not knowing everything - especially the stuff that might not even happen to me. I think of it as keeping it simple and not letting my head go to the negative space - - maybe I"m just shooting myself in the foot - I guess we'll see.

Ashleysred · October 2010

Buttercup29:

Right on. I am so glad there are things I didn't know before I got pregnant. I don't think I would have if I did know - which half of the stuff I have read didn't happen to me. We are skipping the birthing class as well because it would freak me out even more to think about all that can go wrong. Lately all I hear about are all the bad things about being pregnant and it's really sad - - I know everyone is different but I've only heard ONE good story and it involved a c-section. I don't mind being educated on labor and I'm okay with not knowing everything - especially the stuff that might not even happen to me. I think of it as keeping it simple and not letting my head go to the negative space - - maybe I"m just shooting myself in the foot - I guess we'll see.

People are much more likely to share the bad over the good. It is really sad. I remember thinking the same thing when I was pregnant.

sarlah · October 2010

Ashleysred:
Buttercup29:

Right on. I am so glad there are things I didn't know before I got pregnant. I don't think I would have if I did know - which half of the stuff I have read didn't happen to me. We are skipping the birthing class as well because it would freak me out even more to think about all that can go wrong. Lately all I hear about are all the bad things about being pregnant and it's really sad - - I know everyone is different but I've only heard ONE good story and it involved a c-section. I don't mind being educated on labor and I'm okay with not knowing everything - especially the stuff that might not even happen to me. I think of it as keeping it simple and not letting my head go to the negative space - - maybe I"m just shooting myself in the foot - I guess we'll see.

People are much more likely to share the bad over the good. It is really sad. I remember thinking the same thing when I was pregnant.

This exact thing is discussed in Ina May's Guide to Child Birth. In the beginning of the book she talks about how in the US it's like some sick tradition to share horror stories and completely terrify women in regards to pregnancy and l&d. The same thing is true in many other aspects of life. When I was in culinary school I took a hospitality class and one of the statistics we learned was that if someone has a bad experience somewhere they will go on to tell 10 people, and then they tell 10 people, and so on, whereas positive experiences are shared far less often, and then retold even less.

Answer to your question: Yes I would want to know. I'm a total planner, have to know everything, kind of person. I'm not sure how that's going to work out for me when we have kid(s), but we'll see. It's sad because I think I take the fun out of a lot of things for myself because I need to know every little detail or possible scenario. I am not going to lie, l&d still really scare me, but I still want to have kids. I'm just not allowing that fear to control me. I do tons & tons of research and reading, and I know when the time comes all of that will probably go out the window, but it makes me feel better right now... and I guess that's what matters. The prospect of my PP body really scares me, but it's something I can't even consider right now.

lindeenwedding · October 2010

I've actaully seen a website devoted entirely to post partum photos. Let me tell you it ain't pretty

Izzybeth3 · October 2010

Nope, I don't wanna know. I figure my mom (a NICU nurse) will tell me something if it's really important. Beyond that and reading all of your experiences, my head is in the sand.

MissMex · October 2010

I would NEVER want to read that book. Ashley, I'm on the same page as you, as far as feelings about PP. I feel like I had a very skewed version of what happens to your body, based on what happened to a lot of my family & friends. ( my mom went from a whopping size 0, to a size 2, w/ me)

While I love the viewpoint shared in Morgan's earlier post I don't have that one... I'm not really sure why, maybe because my body was So different PP, maybe because I'm from Orange County, maybe because I'm superficial...( hey, at least I'm honest)

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