3rd Trimester

Would this be a problem for you?

DH wants to go out of town (2 hours away, 3 depending on the time of day if traffic is bad) for 3 days.  This is when I will be 38 1/2 weeks pregnant.  I have been having contractions for about 3 weeks now, she has dropped and my BP is borderline for the last 2 weeks (141/89).  I am not being hormonal as far as I can tell, but I think this is insane and am not comfortable with it at all.  Yes I realize most babies are late, yes I realize labor is usually long for your first baby.  But it is not improbable she could come any time now.  DH is usually very sensitive to my needs and this is actually a pretty big shock to me he'd even consider this.  BTW this is not for work.

Am I being stupid?

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Re: Would this be a problem for you?

  • Eh, I'd be tempted to stay closer to home, but 2 hours is not bad.
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  • I agree with you, I wouldn't want DH to go, and he shouldn't want to.
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  • I'm not going, just him.  The trip has taken 3 1/2 hours during a game weekend and rush hour.
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  • I would let my SO go. Its 2 (maybe 3 hours) It could be worse, and assuming there are telephones wherever he's going, I'm gonna say you'll be fine.
  • No, you are being completely rational.  He would be forever regretting it if he missed the birth of his child - not to mention the support YOU will need.  Insist on him staying put.  What on earth would take him out of town like this that he would actually consider going?  (You mentioned it wasn't work related.)
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  • imageheatherm818:
    I'm not going, just him.  The trip has taken 3 1/2 hours during a game weekend and rush hour.

    Ohh I cannot read today. I'm sorry. 

    Then no. DH travels for WORK and has told his boss he doesn't want to go anywhere over an hour away come week 37. 

    The furthest away he will be the entire month of November is 3 hours away- and that is for work. 

    Your DH needs to stay closer to home, IMO. You need to be able to reach him and he needs to get home to you if something happens. 

  • um tell him he can go if he wishes to miss the birth of your child..  at least that is what i would say..
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  • No I would not be cool with this... esp since you have been having constractions and your bp is a bit elivated...

     I am a worrier though.. dh works 1 1/2 hrs from our home and our hospital is 1/2 between home and his work so 45 min drive and that makes me nervious if i go into labor that will be up here by myself ( ds also goes to a school 20 min away so we are all spread out)

    you are not being stupid.. esp as he wants to stay overnight.

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  • image2ndchair:
    No, you are being completely rational.  He would be forever regretting it if he missed the birth of his child - not to mention the support YOU will need.  Insist on him staying put.  What on earth would take him out of town like this that he would actually consider going?  (You mentioned it wasn't work related.)

    My husband races as a hobby.  I am 100% supportive of this.  He was sponsored this year so he has been able to go to 6 times the amount of races he normally does since they get expensive for us.  It is the last race weekend of the season.  I know this is important to him, but he has been to so many already, way more than any other year. 

    I am not clingy, but I also feel like this could be our last (or one of the last) weekends together before LO and I wanted to be with him.  I know it is not that far and he will have his phone, but he obviously cannot answer or hear sometimes while racing.  I'm just afraid if he goes, I'll have a super fast labor and he won't be there.  Especially since I plan on med free (which he is 100% on board and supportive of my reasons) and I don't know if I will be able to deal without his support.

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  • I did a 2.5 hour trip with DH and a bunch of his friends to go to a football game at 38+ weeks.  I had a GREAT time, but the ride was soooo uncomfortable.  My feet were swollen for days!!  It's really a judgement call on your part, only you really know what's best.  If you're truly in doubt, skip it.
  • That is a tough one. What does he want to go do?? I would guilt my hubby into staying home, I am a master at it! My hubby travels once a week for work 2 hours from home and he is not going once I hit 37 weeks.

    Do you think he might come to the "sensible" decision on his own? Or is he dead set on going?

  • I would be a little bothered by it but then again my DS was born 16 days early. Granted I was in labor for 17.5 hours before I had an emergency c-section so 2-3 hours wouldn't have made a difference but I know I wanted him there from the beginning til the end so it would have bothered me.

    Have you told him that it's probably not a good idea?

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  • imagedivasociety:

    That is a tough one. What does he want to go do?? I would guilt my hubby into staying home, I am a master at it! My hubby travels once a week for work 2 hours from home and he is not going once I hit 37 weeks.

    Do you think he might come to the "sensible" decision on his own? Or is he dead set on going?

    We had sort of talked about this before and I had mentioned I was uncomfortable with it, but it was so long ago.  I never said I was ok with it, but it seemed so irrelevant when I was 4 months, we didn't really discuss.  Now I'm not at all.  I think he will decide to stay home, but I also don't want him to feel like I made him.  It will be much harder for him to do these kinds of things once we have a baby and he works so hard right now (32 hours a week and 15 credits in school).  He is usually gone 8am until 930pm almost every night and when he is home earlier, he's doing his homework.  I know it would mean a lot to him, but I feel like I'm being irrational about it I guess.

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  • imageheatherm818:
    imagedivasociety:

    That is a tough one. What does he want to go do?? I would guilt my hubby into staying home, I am a master at it! My hubby travels once a week for work 2 hours from home and he is not going once I hit 37 weeks.

    Do you think he might come to the "sensible" decision on his own? Or is he dead set on going?

    We had sort of talked about this before and I had mentioned I was uncomfortable with it, but it was so long ago.  I never said I was ok with it, but it seemed so irrelevant when I was 4 months, we didn't really discuss.  Now I'm not at all.  I think he will decide to stay home, but I also don't want him to feel like I made him.  It will be much harder for him to do these kinds of things once we have a baby and he works so hard right now (32 hours a week and 15 credits in school).  He is usually gone 8am until 930pm almost every night and when he is home earlier, he's doing his homework.  I know it would mean a lot to him, but I feel like I'm being irrational about it I guess.

    You are not being irrational. It is a tough choice. If he goes, he will feel guilty. If he stays, you will feel guilty! Have you thought about bringing a friend and going, too?? Is there a game that weekend or a reason for the drive to be longer than the usual 2 hours?

  • For me personally, I would not feel comfortable going. We were invited to a wedding when I am 39 weeks that's about 45 minutes away and I'm not going.  I do not think you're being stupid and I think that for this issue, everyone has to do what's best for them.

    In all likelihood, you'll be fine and if you happened to go into labor would have plenty of time to get home and to the hospital.  It's really just about your comfort level.

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  • I wouldn't want DH to go that far away either. Good thing he's getting his hunting trip out of the way THIS weekend... Smile
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  • DH did this with our first, except it was 5 hours away and for a fire expo...I was a little pissed off.  But I wasn't having contractions, DS hadn't dropped, and I never had any BP issues (DS ended up coming 2 days late).  I don't think you are being stupid at all!  I would bet that the chances of your baby coming sooner rather than later are pretty high, and it sucks not having DH in the delivery room (even for a few hours - DH did that too!).

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  • As long as he'll have a cell phone with him at all times just in case. DH is going to be 3 hours away until I'm due, and it is an issue for me but it is just how it is (he works OOT). I know that I can get a hold of him at any time though.
  • I wouldn't have a problem with it but that's just me...
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  • Too funny that you would bring this up.  DH is leaving to go 5 hours away when I am 37 weeks.  Just two weeks before my section.  However, this is for work.  I pretty much have to let him go because we need the money and he gets paid for work done, not salary, and it's really good money.  So, I'm just coming up with a back up plan and crossing my fingers.

    If it were not for work, I'd probably say hell no.  Mainly because I'll be 37 weeks pregnant and tired and we have a 4 year old.  But, I say this is an area where you an definitely put your food down!

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  • imageheatherm818:
    I'm not going, just him.  The trip has taken 3 1/2 hours during a game weekend and rush hour.

    He's going to the Green Bay/Viking game, isn't he:)

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  • I think you have to ask what you are comfortable with. If it will stress you out, I think he just has to understand and make the sacrifice for you...

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  • I'd vote no, but DH has known that I don't want him farther away than work (which is over an hour away) during our last month.

    And I want those last few weekends with DH too, so I think that's a valid reason, too!

  • imagePunkyBooster:
    Eh, I'd be tempted to stay closer to home, but 2 hours is not bad.

    Agreed

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  • It sounds like you want him to be able to go as he's not going to be able to do these things as much in the future. That's nice of you.

    That being said, I would be extremely uncomfortable with my DH being away like that.

    How would he feel if you were all alone and in labor?  How are you supposed to get to your hospital/birthing center? Some of these things go through my head.

    Sorry, but that trip just wouldn't happen.

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  • imagewelcel:

    imageheatherm818:
    I'm not going, just him.  The trip has taken 3 1/2 hours during a game weekend and rush hour.

    He's going to the Green Bay/Viking game, isn't he:)

    LOL! no he's not going to that.  He races and it is the last race weekend of the year.

    Sh!t.  I think I'll talk to him and see if he can just go to the race on Sunday which would mean leaving Sun morning early and coming home Sun evening.  I just don't think I can deal with 3 days away at that point. 

    Thanks ladies for all the input!

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  • I agree with you. I wouldn't be comfortable with it. Especially since my entire labor with DD was only 4 hours long. I'd hate to think of him missing the birth because he's driving.
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  • I don't think 2 hours would bother me. My DH had to fly to Philly for 3 days when I was almost 38 weeks, that made me nervous but it all worked out. 
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  • i would be nervous to do it at 38 1/2 weeks to be honest.... i am going on a week trip leaving tomorrow (35 weeks) and i'm nervous about it... lol I say, if you feel like you want to when the time comes, go for it... if not... don't go : )
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