CP: Sticking around after BFP (bfp ment'd...obvi)

Zed58 · October 2010

This is kind of a spinoff from jillcanada's post below. I've been really inactive with posting lately. I've been lurking a LOT, just not posting too much. I feel stuck in an awkward place. I don't really feel that confident in my pregnancy and I don't really know anybody on PGAL, so I'm not all that comfortable posting there.

At the same time, I don't really feel like I belong here either. I feel like my sticking around here might be considered offensive (especially to some of the newer TTCAL members). There are so many of you that I have gotten to know and love over the past several months and I don't want to loose that support or those friendships, but at the same time, I could totally understand why people here would like people to move on once they've received their BFP.

UGH! I hope this post, in itself, isn't offensive. If it is, let me know and I'll dd...I'm not afraid!

[Poll]

TeacherVicky · October 2010

While I am elated when the ladies that have supported me for the past 6 months get their BFP, a little part of me is sad when they don't post anymore. So, yes, I would love your continued support!

tlcW0714 · October 2010

I like it when you guys stay around. I'm interested in how things are going with you guys, and if you stay here, we don't have to lurk on pgal as much!!

TrickyLittleMinx · October 2010

I feel the same way.. I lurk here alot and i will post, but i dont like doing it.. i dont want people to be like "oh shes ktfu why is she posting here" sorta thing.. i understand Zed.

biddy53178 · October 2010

Zed- i love that you pop in- and was also excited to see Kaity earlier as she has now graduated to the other board as well-

itsmegin · October 2010

I voted-don't have strong feelings one way or another. I kind of feel like the girls who put SAIFW in their siggies, like if you have gone through this and had a loss, I would never be bitter or jealous of your success, it's inspiring, and I know you have been through the same hell we all have, or worse, and you are going to be sensitive and understanding, and you deserve your baby and a happy pregnancy more than anyone. So it doesn't bother me as much as people who get instant take-home babies.

But I am not willing to speak for everyone and I am afraid it might bother some people, though those of you that are pregnant and post do a great job of not really talking about it or making it known. I would also think that eventually, you're going to want to be free to talk about baby and pregnancy related things openly, and you shouldn't be somewhere where you are walking on eggshells and trying not to hurt feelings, so PGAL will be a better fit.

But I personally love having you and any other PGALers around!

biddy53178 · October 2010

tlcW0714:
I like it when you guys stay around. I'm interested in how things are going with you guys, and if you stay here, we don't have to lurk on pgal as much!!

this- i dont lurk on other boards much- it makes me sad so i like it when you guys check in with us-

tlcW0714 · October 2010

biddy53178:

tlcW0714:
I like it when you guys stay around. I'm interested in how things are going with you guys, and if you stay here, we don't have to lurk on pgal as much!!

this- i dont lurk on other boards much- it makes me sad so i like it when you guys check in with us-

exactly!!

olivia_eve · October 2010

I have no problem with people sticking around. I haven't even noticed those who are pg and posting here. Obviously if you were pg and posting, "OMG my morning sickness is awful" on here that would be different. I don't think offering support is ever a bad thing!

Izabella22 · October 2010

I know exactly what you mean Zed, I feel the same way. I post on Pgal but I don't feel like I belong there, I'm so unsure of this pregnancy and constantly thinking its going to end, but not wanting to post here and hurt anyone.

kbel424 · October 2010

Oh Zed, I'm so glad you posted this. I feel the exact same way! I'm trying to get to know the ladies on Pgal but I obviously know everyone here better. But I am very cautious on what I post here, I usually just respond to posts here because I don't want to talk about my pregnancy here and offend anyone, so I try to just offer support.

nikki04vb · October 2010

I don't think past TTCALers coming back to post is a bad thing. It's not like anyone would come over here and rub their pregnancies in our faces. And I agree that it would be difficult to lurk on PgAL.

I don't know if I myself would come back. I think it's a personal decision based on how long you were TTCAL and if you feel comfortable. I chose not to post about my m/c on my due date board. It wasn't because I thought it was wrong for others to do it, but I just didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable or upset. I think the same goes for this board. If I get a BFP right away I prob wouldn't post on here again- I would feel uncomfortable and worry that I would offend/upset someone. If I'm here for a while it might be a little different.

a&b=him&me · October 2010

TeacherVicky:

While I am elated when the ladies that have supported me for the past 6 months get their BFP, a little part of me is sad when they don't post anymore. So, yes, I would love your continued support!

This

noah-bear · October 2010

What bothers me about "I don't know where I belong, I don't know people" is that's why you go to a new board. You go there to make friends who are going through, roughly, the same thing.

Most of the women here are trying to get pregnant. If you're pregnant you want to talk to others about being pregnant. You can make some great friends on new boards that you wouldn't get to know if you were too nervous to go there.

It doesn't bother me in an "I'm angry" way, just an "I wish people would learn change can be great" way and a "put yourself out there and experience cool things" way.

AmyRM · October 2010

TeacherVicky:
While I am elated when the ladies that have supported me for the past 6 months get their BFP, a little part of me is sad when they don't post anymore. So, yes, I would love your continued support!

This! ..and the whole lurking on pgal problem. I want to know how my buddies are doing!!!!

Zed58 · October 2010

Thanks for the replies ladies. I've had this on my mind for a while so it's good to finally have an answer to my question. I've been pretty stressed about such petty things lately and this was one of em. Thanks girlies!

shouldbworkin · October 2010

I stuck around last time. I didn't start posts, but still offered support by responding on questions re: TTC or to someone's tough day.

TrickyLittleMinx · October 2010

AmyRM:
TeacherVicky:

While I am elated when the ladies that have supported me for the past 6 months get their BFP, a little part of me is sad when they don't post anymore. So, yes, I would love your continued support!

This! ..and the whole lurking on pgal problem. I want to know how my buddies are doing!!!!

your too sweet!!

TheGregory's07 · October 2010

I love support from people I have gotten to know and such. I hope that they feel that they can still support too.

BlakeG · October 2010

I think as long as you are not throwing your pg in our faces, complaining about m/s etc (which I don't think you or any grad would do) and you are here giving support you should definitely stick around.

Mrs.Albie · October 2010

BlakeG:
I think as long as you are not throwing your pg in our faces, complaining about m/s etc (which I don't think you or any grad would do) and you are here giving support you should definitely stick around.

This.

ikissedthecook · October 2010

I'm in almost the exact same boat Zed, but its less about me not knowing anybody and more about loving the girls here and I want them to know that I'm still here, thinking about them every day.

damabo80 · October 2010

olivia_eve:
I have no problem with people sticking around. I haven't even noticed those who are pg and posting here. Obviously if you were pg and posting, "OMG my morning sickness is awful" on here that would be different. I don't think offering support is ever a bad thing!

Yep. This. As long as the majority of the threads aren't PG- centric, and you don't have a gazillion tickers showing us exactly how KUed you are, I don't have strong feelings one way or another. I love it when people who I know do come to play, or respond to my threads, but at the same time, I know that I can click on PGAL if I want to see their PG updates (Leneae....you should know...you're numbero uno on my smug PG stalking list) Wink

rock-elle · October 2010

I'll say that as long as you don't flaunt your shiz all over the place with tickers and US pics and what not I would love to have you here, I say the first part only to keep it real. I hate when friends who get their bfp's totally disappear. We're here for more than to supprt you through the tough times (i.e. the TTCAL part)

Ryan&Kristin062009 · October 2010

I think its great when people get their BFP's and when they stick around for a little bit afterwards, but I don't know if I could handle the entire 9 month journey

Maybe if they move on but check in every now and then?

uklawgirl · October 2010

Hey there TTCAL-ers- I know most of you don't know me (m/c in Feb '10, BFP in May '10 so this was my home board about 3 months) but please do know that a lot of us PgAL still lurk here a lot and are always cheering you guys on. We just don't want to cause anything hurtful by posting with our tickers, etc., in our siggies.

Zed- I hope you'll jump in on PgAL! I know it's hard to make the transition but there is a really great group of ladies on there that have unbelievable experiences and knowledge. (I'm mostly a lurker there too. )

LeesMyBaby · October 2010

Zed...I'm right there with you! I kind of feel like I'm in limbo right now. I still lurk alot here because I still care about these ladies and want to offer my support. I haven't posted as much this past week because I don't won't to offend anyone. I have been lurking on PgAL as well but I really haven't jumped in and started posting yet.

leneae10 · October 2010

ikissedthecook:
I'm in almost the exact same boat Zed, but its less about me not knowing anybody and more about loving the girls here and I want them to know that I'm still here, thinking about them every day.

THIS. Zed, thank YOU for asking this question. I've been stalker-zilla on TTCAL but PM people or FB them rather than respond in the post. I feel a lot better about posting here now that the board feelings have been shared.

leneae10 · October 2010

damabo80:

olivia_eve:
I have no problem with people sticking around. I haven't even noticed those who are pg and posting here. Obviously if you were pg and posting, "OMG my morning sickness is awful" on here that would be different. I don't think offering support is ever a bad thing!

Yep. This. As long as the majority of the threads aren't PG- centric, and you don't have a gazillion tickers showing us exactly how KUed you are, I don't have strong feelings one way or another. I love it when people who I know do come to play, or respond to my threads, but at the same time, I know that I can click on PGAL if I want to see their PG updates (Leneae....you should know...you're numbero uno on my smug PG stalking list)

Awww... I love you. And, I stalk you, too!!!! Along with many more of you!

Gummybear · October 2010

I want you to stick around Zed, and I miss you. You've been "with me" on this journey since the beginning so I consider you a friend.

normajeane6126 · October 2010

I still lurk, but I'm leery about posting because of my ticker. I love the ladies of TTCAL too much to just disappear altogether!

jesslw · October 2010

noah-bear:
What bothers me about "I don't know where I belong, I don't know people" is that's why you go to a new board. You go there to make friends who are going through, roughly, the same thing.
Most of the women here are trying to get pregnant. If you're pregnant you want to talk to others about being pregnant. You can make some great friends on new boards that you wouldn't get to know if you were too nervous to go there.
It doesn't bother me in an "I'm angry" way, just an "I wish people would learn change can be great" way and a "put yourself out there and experience cool things" way.

This. Well said noah-bear.

Want a personalized experience?

CP: Sticking around after BFP (bfp ment'd...obvi)

Re: CP: Sticking around after BFP (bfp ment'd...obvi)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards