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March 2011 Moms
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baby shower etiquette question...

mrssburnisonmrssburnison member
in March 2011 Moms
So I grew up and my family is 3 hours away from where I live now (and in another country).  My mom and sister have already mentioned they'll be throwing a baby shower for me.  I haven't heard anything from family or friends here in Canada throwing one for me.  I don't expect it, but should I invite them to the shower in New York even though I know its a lot to expect them to come?  But If I don't invite them and they don't throw me a shower I get ridiculed for leaving them out.  Do I ask a friend to throw one here incase family doesn't?  I don't know what is appropriate or proper to do?  I hate asking them to come all that way for a few hour party when I know they won't.  Some of them seemed upset when we invited them to the NY bridal shower.  Do I assume they'll get something thrown together, or just leave them out one way or another? 
HarLynn's mama
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Re: baby shower etiquette question...

  • hrushka13hrushka13 member
    I think it is easier to invite them than to ask them to throw you a baby shower. I am sure the closest friends would try to make it, and if they can't they will give you a gift some other time and yet will feel appreciated that you didn't leave them out.
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  • TwinkzTwinkz

    If they want to come they'll drive three hours.  I've driven to parties/showers/wedding/etc more than 3 hours away, in my book 3 hours is nothing (my bff lives 3 hrs away and we go out there all the time). 

    Though, depending on where they cross, it could be quite a bit of time.  Last time I came back from Canada I crossed at the Thousand Island Bridge and we sat parked for over 2 hours, I know that's not standard for that crossing but oh dear lol. 

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  • HoolahZingerHoolahZinger member
    It is very bad etiquette to request a shower from someone. I sent a guest list to my sister and it includes people from out of state. I look of it as a chance to let them feel included even though I don't expect them to come at all. Plus, hey, maybe the local family will see the invite and that will get them thinking of hosting a shower themselves maybe? Don't worry about it too much though...showers are not something you have much control of...nor should you
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  • PinkLove-SPinkLove-S
    I would invite them. I had people offer asap as soon as i found out i was pregnant but if i hadn't, i wouldn't ask them to, i would just assume they didn't want to. Sorry you are in limbo but i would invite them and if they decided to have one closer then that would be great too!
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  • randommooserandommoose

    I'm actually with hrushka13, based on my bridal shower experience.

    But first--spend a few weeks dropping hints.  They'll still have plenty of time to organize before a January or February shower if you start with little hints now.  Start complaining to your best Canada friend tomorrow...

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