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Last OE cycle probably getting cancelled

may2806may2806 member
in Infertility

My low-stim last ditch effort at IVF with my eggs doesn't seem to be working. I took Clomid for 5 nights and on the 3rd night added in stims - I've been doing the stims for 4 nights and nothing. I go back on Friday, but if my E2 doesn't start to go up I'll probably be cancelled. Weird thing is they didn't increase my dose, but I'm assuming the RE knows what he's doing. I've also been sick so I feel like this cycle was sabotaged anyway.

I don't know how to feel about this. I knew this cycle wouldn't work and I was just humoring myself. I was all set to do DE and even just wanted to get this cycle 'over with' - but now I'm feeling sad about it again. Then I have crazy thoughts like, well since I got one egg every time I've tried high stims, I could do that and just do IUIs instead of IVF. What, am I crazy? Wasn't it just a few weeks ago that I wanted a baby NOW, no matter how I got that baby? Now I'm thinking about putting myself through that forever? I need to figure out how to get my mind back and ok with DE.

I'm confused, sad, and have a horrible cold. Just needed to vent. 

 

Dx: High FSH, stage IV endo, homozygous C677T MTHFR and PAI-1
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
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Re: Last OE cycle probably getting cancelled

  • jcathjcath member

    I'm sorry that just sucks. We'll be moving onto DE if this IVF doesn't work and I also go back and forth with being perfectly fine with it and being sad I can't do it on my own.  {{Hugs}}

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  • njohnson1972njohnson1972 member

    I am on my last IVF cycle with my own eggs and I am so ready for it to be over with. 

    I am so tired of all of the hormones.  I am so tired of the BFNs.  I tired of the bloat and weight gain for no baby.  If this cycle wasn't on the house, I don't think I would be doing this again.

    I look forward to finally having a 70% chance of getting pregnant.  I look forward to posting on PAIF.

    I am sorry your IVF cycle did not work out.

    (((hug)))

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  • FutureMoutouxFutureMoutoux member

    I'm sorry! ((((Hugehugs))))

    I hope your cold gets better soon too! 

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  • kdussaultkdussault
    imagenjohnson1972:

    I am so tired of all of the hormones.  I am so tired of the BFNs.  I tired of the bloat and weight gain for no baby. 

    I look forward to finally having a 70% chance of getting pregnant.  I look forward to posting on PAIF.

    I am sorry your IVF cycle did not work out.

    (((hug)))

    I agree with this completely!

    And I know how you feel about not being ready.  But like many of the DE ladies have said... once I made that leap and decided to throw in the towel on my OE and go for DE, I felt so relieved... excited actually!  So it might take some time, but once you make a decision I'm sure you feel good about it.  I felt so much at peace after making my decision and calling the nurses to call off our cycle.  Hope you have the same feeling when it is your time :)

    PS. for me, I think it was the control, I needed to be the one to say we are moving on, not to have the RE tell me it was our only option. 

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  • ej708ej708 member

    I'm so sorry.  I don't have any insight/experience with what you're going through, but I can imagine it would be incredibly difficult. 

    Huge ((((Hugs)))).  Feel better soon!

    Our IVF miracles arrived on 7/20/11 at 37 weeks after 3 weeks of hospital bedrest! Lilypie Second Birthday tickers "Stubbornly persist, and you will find that the limits of your stubbornness go well beyond the stubbornness of your limits." ~Robert Brault
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  • hollymichaelhollymichael

    I am so sorry.

    I don't know what to tell you about DE. When you are ready, I think you will know it.  I am so tired of all of the disappointment with my OE that I am really excited to be moving on to something with a good chance of working.

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  • wewannababywewannababy
    HUGS!  I hope that your E2 levels go up and you won't have to be cancelled! It's very hard to leave hope of having a child with your OE!  I can understand that it has you very confused, sad, mad ... etc.  Hope you are feeling better sooN!
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  • BRSaugust20BRSaugust20 member
    Hugs!!!  I can understand wanting to give it one more try for closure (or that ellusive great egg!).  Feel free to PM me is you ever want to ask anything about DE...and I mean anything!  
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