If you had baby right before deployment

CCCSLP1 · October 2010

Did anyone limit visitors during the few precious days you had with your new baby before DH deployed? Depending on when our LO ends up being born, we may have just a week or so together, one of the days will be Thanksgiving. My mother will be dying to be here as much as possible, but I am going to ask her to stay at my grandma's house and only visit for a little while each day (maybe an hour or so). I'd prefer that my grandparents and other distant family members don't stop by until DH leaves. We will see them at Thanksgiving and I'd prefer for that to be it. How do I go about asking them not to visit tactfully?

iluvmytxrgr · October 2010

No matter how you say it, someone will be crappy about it. Just say it.

"H is leaving very soon and will be away from us for a long time. He would like to be able to have as much time with his little family as possible without distractions. We are asking for no visits until after H leaves. Everyone will have a chance to see the baby at Thanksgiving. Please respect our choice."

dannafofanna · October 2010

They will totally understand. Trust me. If you explain to them that it isn't because you don't want them to see little one, but that you want a little time to be a family before he's gone, they will definitely understand.

Bexx24 · October 2010

I'm having our baby around deployment too, alrhough fortunately we should have at least a month, so I'm not cutting it nearly as close as you are. But if I were you, I would certainly tell them to stay out as nicely as possible. They're gonna be bummed, but dude- he's deploying. I wouldn't care what anyone thought of me, they would NOT be butting in on my first and last(for a while) week of family time. They really should understand that though,

MrsP052909 · October 2010

My DH was here for 2 weeks with DS before he deployed. When I was at about 25 weeks we decided that we would not allow our family to come up to see the baby until right before my husband was to leave. (Both of our families are from KS and we were at Ft. Campbell.) Most of the family understood but his parents were not too happy about it. We told them that we wanted to have time alone to bond with LO and for DH to spend as much time with him as possible. It took a month or so but they finally came around. Just promise to keep everyone updated and tell them you'll send pictures ASAP! GL

Lithigin · October 2010

Be firm about your decision. If they want to get all whiny and "that's unfair", then you can say that you won't devote energy to arguing about it right now and that you have to focus your little family only for the next month and through DH's departure. They can talk it through with you at TG, or a week after he leaves or whatever.

lyndsey0417 · October 2010

I thought everyone was going to be pretty annoyed that my husband and I wanted them all gone by the weekend, but they were all understanding and some left before the weekend and we only had one day at home with an extra person and it was my mom which was totally okay and she left the morning after i came home... (i think that b/c i had a c-section it seemed like we didnt have family there at all b/c most of my time was spent at the hospital when the family was here!) Anywho if they dont understand its okay to be pretty blunt with it!! James deployed 2 weeks after I came home from the hospital!

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