Has anybody traveled to give birth?

desmerelda317 · October 2010

That probably sounds like a strange question. But when I had DS in the states, I had him at a totally natural birth friendly hospital. They didn't push meds, constant monitoring or anything and my OB did exactly what I needed her to do - stayed out of my way until the baby was ready to come out. It was awesome and I want a repeat when we have baby #2 (which will hopefully be next year - TTC starts next month YAY)!!! In fact, I loved my natural delivery of DS so much that I really want to be out of the hospital altogether and give birth either at a birth center or at home. That said, DH is military and now we live in Italy so my options are the military hospital or go out in town where there's a serious language barrier (I'm working on it, but am by no means fluent yet and certainly don't know enough medical/pregnancy lingo to be able to advocate for myself in town). Also, here in southern Italy the c-section rate is close to 50% - YIKES! So I've been doing some research and have come up with two options - both of which require travel. Option 1 - travel to the States around the middle of the third trimester for an extended stay and live with either my parents or the in-laws and give birth in the States with a birth center or midwife at home. Option 2 - travel to Tuscany to a midwife run birth center where they also speak English and are committed to the natural birth process. Would you travel that much to have the non-hospital, med-free birth you desire?

lilylow · October 2010

To avoid an unnecessary c-section - yes

50% is insanely high

Temp76535187505890 · October 2010

I'm pretty sure this is what Roundtheworldgirl is doing. I'm not sure if she'll be on since she's close to her EDD but hopefully she'll chime in if she is!

Ooops, nevermind! I see she posted a birth story below!

Lina1030 · October 2010

WOW! That is a tough call. 50% is high! I am Greek-Italian and I have noticed they really push those c/s over there....so many of my friends and relatives ask "you are having a c/s right?" UM NO! Why would I? Dr's make more $$, I think that is what it is and some women like the scheduled aspect of it and some idiot husbands prefer it b/c they think their wives "hoo-ha's" get stretched out w/natural birth.

If you came here, how would DH be able to be there for the birth? Is it easier for him to be there in Tuscany? Will you have to travel to Tuscany for all your prenatal visits...that can be A LOT of driving/train rides. Making me lean towards the US option so you have family here to help you and you are close to your dr's and hospital/birth center. (what part of Italy do you live? My father is from and lives in Capri)

marriedtoeric · October 2010

I would to avoid an unnecessary c-section. If you traveled back to the states, would your DS come with you? What about if you traveled to Tuscany?

It seems like the trip to Tuscany would be far less costly; but you'd lose out on having your families around for the last month or two of your pregnancy, and you'd also miss out having their help immediately after the birth. If DS is traveling with you to either place, that's something I'd take into account.

desmerelda317 · October 2010

DS would have to come with me. DH would meet us at whichever place closer to my due date. He wouldn't be guaranteed to be at the birth because he probably couldn't take more than two weeks of leave. But I REALLY don't want a c-section and think that I may just have to take that risk.

desmerelda317 · October 2010

Oh, and Lina, we live on Sicily.

JoelsGirl07 · October 2010

I would. Absolutely. I thought about leaving Atlanta and going to The Farm (about 5 hours away) to have this baby until I found my awesome MW. I would look into both options and see which you like better, but I'm glad you have come up with a plan already!

roundtheworldgirl · October 2010

desmerelda317:
Option 1 - travel to the States around the middle of the third trimester for an extended stay and live with either my parents or the in-laws and give birth in the States with a birth center or midwife at home.

I did exactly this, and my baby was born on Monday. In our case, I had no choice - we live overseas and my DH works for the USG, and they said we had to come back. It sucked being away from DH for eight weeks before the birth, and it was also very nerve-wracking to worry about going into labor before he could join me. But I stayed with family and we have a good support system here, so things are fine now that we are all together.

I might be in the minority here, but I don't know that I would have chosen to do this. Being separated has been rough. The other problem is that DH has to go back before I will be able to travel. So I either have to stay here until he can come back for us (and then we'll be separated again for at least another few weeks, if not months, AND have to pay for his plane ticket), or I have to do a trans-Atlantic flight alone with two babies (I have near-Irish twins). Not a fun choice to make. Because of this, I think I probably would have stayed and dealt with the medical environment there, had I not been forced to go.

desmerelda317 · October 2010

roundtheworldgirl:
desmerelda317:
Option 1 - travel to the States around the middle of the third trimester for an extended stay and live with either my parents or the in-laws and give birth in the States with a birth center or midwife at home.
I did exactly this, and my baby was born on Monday. In our case, I had no choice - we live overseas and my DH works for the USG, and they said we had to come back. It sucked being away from DH for eight weeks before the birth, and it was also very nerve-wracking to worry about going into labor before he could join me. But I stayed with family and we have a good support system here, so things are fine now that we are all together.
I might be in the minority here, but I don't know that I would have chosen to do this. Being separated has been rough. The other problem is that DH has to go back before I will be able to travel. So I either have to stay here until he can come back for us (and then we'll be separated again for at least another few weeks, if not months, AND have to pay for his plane ticket), or I have to do a trans-Atlantic flight alone with two babies (I have near-Irish twins). Not a fun choice to make. Because of this, I think I probably would have stayed and dealt with the medical environment there, had I not been forced to go.

It sounds like you guys aren't separated very often. DH is military. We've been through 2 full deployments as well as numerous other separations that lasted anywhere from a week to a month and a half. The separation doesn't worry me because I've been there and know I can handle it. I don't relish being separated from DH, but I guess it is just something you get used to in this lifestyle. Plus, being with family would make it 1000 times easier than most of our separations have been. I'm just concerned about the risk of DH missing the birth and am having a hard time deciding whether or not having a midwife outside of a hospital is worth him possibly not being there. It is such a hard decision.

papagena · October 2010

There was a gal on the ICAN listserve who traveled to the US (not exactly sure where they were living - I believe in Europe/Asia somewhere - I came in near the end of her pg) in order to have a VBAC and had to leave her DH & daughter at home. People do it. 50% is insanely high.

roundtheworldgirl · October 2010

desmerelda317:
roundtheworldgirl:
desmerelda317:
Option 1 - travel to the States around the middle of the third trimester for an extended stay and live with either my parents or the in-laws and give birth in the States with a birth center or midwife at home.
I did exactly this, and my baby was born on Monday. In our case, I had no choice - we live overseas and my DH works for the USG, and they said we had to come back. It sucked being away from DH for eight weeks before the birth, and it was also very nerve-wracking to worry about going into labor before he could join me. But I stayed with family and we have a good support system here, so things are fine now that we are all together.
I might be in the minority here, but I don't know that I would have chosen to do this. Being separated has been rough. The other problem is that DH has to go back before I will be able to travel. So I either have to stay here until he can come back for us (and then we'll be separated again for at least another few weeks, if not months, AND have to pay for his plane ticket), or I have to do a trans-Atlantic flight alone with two babies (I have near-Irish twins). Not a fun choice to make. Because of this, I think I probably would have stayed and dealt with the medical environment there, had I not been forced to go.
It sounds like you guys aren't separated very often. DH is military. We've been through 2 full deployments as well as numerous other separations that lasted anywhere from a week to a month and a half. The separation doesn't worry me because I've been there and know I can handle it. I don't relish being separated from DH, but I guess it is just something you get used to in this lifestyle. Plus, being with family would make it 1000 times easier than most of our separations have been. I'm just concerned about the risk of DH missing the birth and am having a hard time deciding whether or not having a midwife outside of a hospital is worth him possibly not being there. It is such a hard decision.

On the contrary We spent most of our dating life on separate continents and then six months after we were married, DH went to Afghanistan for a year. We haven't actually broken even on time together/apart since we've been married, let alone over the course of our relationship. So I'm no stranger to separation. I just found it a lot more difficult to deal with when I was also dealing with crazy pregnancy hormones. I think part of the issue was that we had planned a Bradley home birth again, and I knew it would be much, much harder without DH. He was my rock the last time (and this time!)

Of course, that's not to say that it would be the same for you. Clearly this is a decision that only you can make. I was just sharing my experience

desmerelda317 · October 2010

roundtheworldgirl:
desmerelda317:
roundtheworldgirl:
desmerelda317:
Option 1 - travel to the States around the middle of the third trimester for an extended stay and live with either my parents or the in-laws and give birth in the States with a birth center or midwife at home.
I did exactly this, and my baby was born on Monday. In our case, I had no choice - we live overseas and my DH works for the USG, and they said we had to come back. It sucked being away from DH for eight weeks before the birth, and it was also very nerve-wracking to worry about going into labor before he could join me. But I stayed with family and we have a good support system here, so things are fine now that we are all together.
I might be in the minority here, but I don't know that I would have chosen to do this. Being separated has been rough. The other problem is that DH has to go back before I will be able to travel. So I either have to stay here until he can come back for us (and then we'll be separated again for at least another few weeks, if not months, AND have to pay for his plane ticket), or I have to do a trans-Atlantic flight alone with two babies (I have near-Irish twins). Not a fun choice to make. Because of this, I think I probably would have stayed and dealt with the medical environment there, had I not been forced to go.
It sounds like you guys aren't separated very often. DH is military. We've been through 2 full deployments as well as numerous other separations that lasted anywhere from a week to a month and a half. The separation doesn't worry me because I've been there and know I can handle it. I don't relish being separated from DH, but I guess it is just something you get used to in this lifestyle. Plus, being with family would make it 1000 times easier than most of our separations have been. I'm just concerned about the risk of DH missing the birth and am having a hard time deciding whether or not having a midwife outside of a hospital is worth him possibly not being there. It is such a hard decision.
On the contrary We spent most of our dating life on separate continents and then six months after we were married, DH went to Afghanistan for a year. We haven't actually broken even on time together/apart since we've been married, let alone over the course of our relationship. So I'm no stranger to separation. I just found it a lot more difficult to deal with when I was also dealing with crazy pregnancy hormones. I think part of the issue was that we had planned a Bradley home birth again, and I knew it would be much, much harder without DH. He was my rock the last time (and this time!)
Of course, that's not to say that it would be the same for you. Clearly this is a decision that only you can make. I was just sharing my experience

Ah. I read in between the lines too much then. Sorry. Yeah, I'm not sure we've broken even either yet. Maybe when he retires :P

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