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February 2011 Moms
ms12345
member
Anyone else with a %@*@&* commute?
ms12345
member
If so, how are you dealing right now? If you're on 2+, when did you stop driving altogether? Anybody have success in convincing their bosses to let them work from home?
I drive anywhere from 50-70 minutes to and from Philadelphia from South Jersey every day (on a normal day), never mind all the random construction going on right now. My drive in yesterday was 90 minutes. It's not a straight route, it's all traffic lights and a drawbridge, and there's no rhyme or reason to how long it takes me each drive.
I feel like I'm on the verge of a complete breakdown.
It's hard enough keeping my mind on my job during pregnancy, but my commute is causing me to really hate my job and not to mention, being in the car that long is just so damn uncomfortable now. I like what I do in my job, but feel like after three years of this commute plus the pregnancy, I'm operating at only about 40% (and I'm usually an overachiever, so that in itself is killing me).
It was bad enough when DH and I got married, feeling like the 2.5 hours added to my workday for driving was keeping me from seeing him. Now I have visions of never being able to see my child when she's born.
I make too much to quit, since I have student loans and DH doesn't make enough to cover everything, and am not the stay-at-home type anyway. We're already at bare bones, don't just throw money around. But I make too little for it to be worth the $800/month day care plus $300/month it costs me in gas and tolls. That leaves me with only about $500 left over each month, and $400 of that goes to student loans. A grand total of $100 for my efforts every month, woohoo.
I just feel like an awful person right now, and don't know how to cope with the car anymore and the feeling that I'll never get to see my kid because of it. I'm reluctant to propose a telecommuting arrangement because the top bosses here are old-school "face time" people, and another girl here who had a baby last year got all sorts of flack for just leaving an hour and a half early every day.
I know this is more of a vent, but if anyone in a similar position has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated. I just feel so rundown and almost depressed right now.
STM due Feb. 2017!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else with a %@*@&* commute?
I really wish I had advice - I actually feel like I'm in a VERY similar situation as you! Not all the details are the same, but they are close enough.
I struggle EVERY DAY with going to work now and I used to love my job. I still love what I do, but I am resenting my lack of time off, my long commute, and the fact that I already KNOW I won't even be given an option to work from home AT ALL. My immediate boss had a baby in February of this year and while she is a bit of a workaholic in my mind, I have heard the guilt trips that have been placed on her to be here. She NEVER takes time off and she works way more than her 8 hours a day on average. I don't want to do that. I refuse to do it.
So far, I definitely feel like I can't quit my job NOW even though I want to. I know I need to stay here until this baby is born, plain and simple. As far as AFTER he comes, I am seriously thinking of looking for another job while on maternity leave. Otherwise, I might have to have a heart-to-heart with my management and let them know that if they still want me to work here, then SOMETHING has to change. I'm just not sure what else to do!
BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d
BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11
BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d
BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13
BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14
I am 70 miles each way. Though it is a pretty easy commute it is long. I have always been ok with working late and not thinking twice, so now I have to make a change because I don't want to do that when the baby comes. We are trying to move closer to my work but with 50/50 custody of SS it isn't easy. DH will have to then deal with shuffling around for everything, which he is ok with but still, just for my job?
I feel your pain, I hope your work will provide something flexible. Coming in early or off every other Friday if you work 9 hour days. I am in the same boat good luck!
I work less than 30 miles from home, but it takes about an hour to get to and from work some days because I work near the state capitol building, and downtown traffic is a mess. The good news is, the hospital where I'm going to see my OB (and where I will go to L&D) is minutes from work. So, I'll continue to work as long as I can, because it's a much quicker ride from work to the hospital than from home!
Commutes do suck, though.. I can't imagine a 90 minute ride one way. That's just insane!
What kills me is that this is a job that can be done 90% from home. The other 10% are events that I need to be at a few times a month (I work in sports, so home games...). I love what I do and used to love the job, but the drive has zapped every ounce of positivity and killed my performance/work-ethic. I feel like I'm being perceived as a slacker now, which kills because I've always been an overachiever to a fault. Everyone else lives really close so they don't get it. We'd live closer, but DH works 45 minutes in the opposite direction (but his is a straight drive, no traffic, no lights).
@sbux - know the feeling. My commute is technically only 26 miles. The fastest I've ever done the drive is 45 minutes, but that's at midnight after night games. It's 26 miles with traffic lights every 1/4 mile or so the entire way, sometimes with an open drawbridge for good measure, with no viable alternate.
I'm in a very similar situation....and really at a loss for what to do. My regular job is in early intervention therapy, which means traveling a 3-county rural area for home visits. I love my job beyond belief, but I depend on the hours when families are available to see me and the size of the caseload. Lately, it was getting unbearably small, so I picked up an extra 10 hours a week at a nursing home that is 35 miles (60 minute drive) away. Before, this wouldn't have bothered me as I am a workaholic and overachiever. But now, I'm realizing that getting home at 8:00 PM is not what I want for parenthood. At this point, it can't even happen actually, because my husband takes night classes/holds part time job and I am not having my child in someone else's care for all of his/her waking hours. But, because of my husband being in school, we pretty much depend on my paychecks to get us through financially. To top it all off, I am noticing that my physical health seems to be suffering (swollen feet/hands and a few high BP readings) and my emotional health is a wreck because I can't stand to think of the future like this. Unfortunately, because I am a direct service provider, I can't work from home. Arrghh! Anyone else travel for their jobs?
Really, I have no advice....just more venting. Sorry!! I'm thinking that it will have to come down to priorities for me, and that will most definitely be my family.