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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
SeaStar430
member
Doctor said I'm never going to heal from childbirth
SeaStar430
member
It's been so long it seems that I'm not sure everyone knows my story, so briefly...I was fileted open during childbirth with no meds, got 50+ stitches (also with no meds), then got infected, got addicted to the massive amounts of painkillers I was on, and had to get total reconstructive surgery 3 months post partum. The surgery miraculously worked (low success rate), but was excruciating (made med-free labor seem like a massage) and I still have some bowel issues. I couldn't lift my baby till she was 6 months old, was told that sex would never feel good again, and the best part--I never healed from the surgery, the incision is still open.
So 2 months ago the incision was so close to healed that my surgeon signed off on me. I thought I was healed. No such luck. 2 months later, small cut is still there. So I went in today and he said it would never heal. There must be some sort of sinus tract under the cut that is keeping it open. I can either have more surgery that would only have a 50% chance of healing correctly and would also have a 10% chance of messing up my first surgery, or I can just live with a cut down there for the rest of my life. For now, I'm not doing surgery again.
I guess the good news is that he said that I can have sex again, swim in the ocean, exercise...all the things I haven't been able to do for 11 months. I still left the office crying because I'll never be healed, and there's a small chance that the tract is bigger than we think (I'll find out tomorrow, I'm doing a dye test) and I'll have to get more surgery anyway.
Part of the irony each appointment is that my surgeon is in the same office where I had my 16 week ultrasound done to find out that Allie was a girl. I see all these excited pregnant couples and remember my whole family being in that room, so excited for the future. Of course all of this is worth it to have Allison, but it makes me so sad remembering how happy I was in that office and now so sad.
Oh and hey, I'm the Bumpie of the Week. Yay.
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Re: Doctor said I'm never going to heal from childbirth
bleh, that's shitty. sorry
congrats on being bumpie of the week though!
Me: 37
DH: 36
Married: 08-25-07
DS: 11-20-09
Name change alert: Formerly Lisswastaken
I'm so sorry to hear that. What bittersweet feelings you must have.
In no way can I relate to what you are going through, but at least you are alive, and able to enjoy your beautiful daughter.
holy cripes that's quite a story! so sorry you've had to go through all of that!!
click the pic (blog)
I so sorry.
I know he signed off on sex, but did he say whether or not it was ever going to feel good again? Is there anything they can do for that?
PS: How are things with you and your H? Better, I hope.
lol thanks! So weird how I saw my picture on the Community page today. You know you all want to be me.
I actually wasn't cut that much, I just ripped wide open once I was cut. The decision to do an episiotomy or a csection is a tough one, just a judgement call...my baby was stuck and I had been pushing for 3.5 hours, and the midwife made the wrong decision (though she didn't know at the time). She was competent so medical malpractice is almost impossible to prove. I understand why, she had to make a decision that is made millions of times, and mine just turned out bad.
He actually did say it would eventually feel better (the last time the nurse practitioner said she thought it never would). The problem is that they recreated my vagina, so the scar tissue that now makes up the whole area doesn't stretch like muscle does, making sex painful. Eventually it should stretch a little, according to my surgeon.
Things with H are better, it's been really hard on both of us.
Well that's good. I'm sure it has been hard on both of you.
I hope things go back to normal soon!
I am so, so sorry SeaStar. That just sucks.
I'm sorry you're still having to deal with this.
Question for you. How does this affect future pregnancies/childbirth?
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
I am so sorry! This must feel like the never ending childbirth recovery.
T&P that you will recover 100% and feel "normal" again.
I have to have a C-Section next time. I'm fine with that, hell, after the experience I had it sounds like a walk in the park! I actually can't wait to have more kids, the main reason I wanted to heal is so I could have sex and get pregnant again. lol
Thank you girls, I'm not sure what I would do without your support. It's not exactly something I can talk to people about and no one really gets it but you all.
ablou--seriously dying at how cute your LO is in that costume!