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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
what's the funniest thing you have ever heard a child say?
Let it be your own or someone else's child? I love hearing the hilarious things that come out of kids mouths and I need a good laugh right now.
For me, it was a little boy I babysat for. He was probably 3 at the time and he was spitting on the ground. When I asked him what he was doing, his reply was, without even skipping a beat : "I'm just spittin' my Copenhagen". I about DIED with laughter! His dad chewed the stuff and he was just doing what daddy did! LOL!
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Re: what's the funniest thing you have ever heard a child say?
I nanny twin 3 year olds who go to preschool for the middle portion of the day. One (we'll call her
has a lisp. When I picked them up from school one afternoon, I noticed a big bruise/scrape behind B's ear and asked her what happened. Here's the convo:
Me: B, what happened to your ear today?
B: Tyler hit me with his _dick.
Me: He what? I didn't understand you.
B: (irritated to be repeating herself) I saaaaid, Tyyyyler hit me with his _DICK!
Me: What were you guys doing when this happened? Were you on the playground or in class?
A (other twin): They were on the playground.
B: Becky. Listen to me. I told you. Tyler. Hit. Me. With. A. Big. _Dick. But it was uh-accident.
Me (trying not to laugh hysterically): B, I just don't understand what happened.
A: Ugh. Becky. They were just playing hockey and the stick hit B in the head. OKAY!?
Me: OOOhhh.. Tyler hit you with his hockey stick?!
B: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!
LOL
Oh, the lisp was really unfortunate in that situation. And I'm glad we had that conversation in the car and not in a public place where people might have heard a 3 year old talking about a "big _dick". Needless to say, we've been practicing her "s" words a lot since then. Ssssstick. Stick.
The O'Baby Blog
Screaming "Puss-y Boots" (instead of Puss n Boots from Shrek!)
I taught preschool for a class of kids that had been kicked out of other schools/daycare centers for behavior issues.
One day we were on the playground and one of my kids got pushed off the jungle gym. The kid that did the pushing yells out really loud "dude, his head bounced!"
In college I nannied part time for 2 little girls... at the time this happened they were 3 and 1...
Driving in the car to preschool. Girls are each allowed to bring a toy in the car. Casey the 3yr old is obsessed with Thomas the train and brings that with her.
I just happen to look in the rearview mirror and for NO reason at all throws it as hard as she can at her baby sisters face....
The baby is screaming I'm trying to drive... all the while just shocked at what happened trying to not scream at Casey and instead teach a lesson in a stern voice. "We DONT throw toys. Why would you do that??? You hurt her, that train was hard!"
"Casey... look at your sister RIGHT now. What do you say to her???"
And she said (I shiit you not!)
"CATCH"
i got a good one. Ill start by saying my sis and BIL kept their daughter in their room for longer then most parents would in a portable crib....SO
My sister was performing falacio (sp) on her husband in the dark, as do most couples..apparently the lovely noises that go along with this event were loud enough to wake up their 3yr old and prompt her to ask them in the middle of the night " Mommy, watchoo eating?"
just imagine the horror....
I dont have any for ds yet but when my friends daughter was two she said funny stuff daily:
(In line at the grocery store behind a heavy set woman)
2yo: ....`` Whoa. Thats a big bum!``
(Again at the grocery store, mother shopping while going uh huh...uh huh while her daughter blabs away.)
``Aladin mommy! Aladin!! Mommy! Aladin!``
The mother turns to see a very annoyed man wearing a turban.
So embarrasing! Im nervous for when ds can talk!
Reading some of these mine do not seem as funny, but anyways here we go:
My niece just turned three and in the last year these are a few of the things she has said:
At the zoo: my brother said look A (niece) its a fox. A says really loud: Ooo a foucks (which with a two year old saying says like an explative! Then she proceeds to say it several times, Look nanny a, look papa a, look uncle a, etc.
Also at the zoo: this one was just cute: Look daddy A FLING-A-MINGO! We still to this day call flamingos flingamingos.
Also another one that unfortunately actually had a swear word in it: My DH was driving and it was me, my mom, my niece, and her mom in the car and he went around a turn in town a little too sharp and she yelled at him: Drive your sh&t.
Oh my God!
And EWWW!
Co-sleepers do it in the living room!!!!!
I have an Autistic 9 year old client and this summer we were talking about TV shows. He asked me, "Do you watch Full House?" When I said yeah, he replied with, "That Michelle, she's sooo crazy!" I thought it was so cute!
That and when the little boy I used to nanny (he had a speech delay) he would call a fort a "fvck " so we had to change the name of a fort to a tent.
My nephew is hilarious. I could write a book about all of the crazy things that come out of his mouth.
-when he was in Kindergarten last year, they had an assembly to introduce the Kindergarten classes and he stood up in front of all of the parents and teachers and said..: Hi my name is (insert name) and I smoke cigarettes and drink beer." My sister and BIL do not drink or smoke. haha
My parents watched him about a month ago while my sister and her 2 girls and BIL went to a concert. My dad smokes and he went outside to smoke and my nephew said.."you know pop-pop..smoking is really bad for you. You should really stop. But, you only do it because you have a chemical dependency."
I was visiting them for Christmas 2 years ago and I was telling a story and I said "I was waiting in line for like an hour". Well, he starts marching around the living room saying.."fvcking hour...fvcking hour...." was hilarious!
HA! I just about died reading that last one - hilarious! I have a funny one that I said when I was little. We lived in VA and my dad's parents lived in Wisconsin. We were driving to WI to visit them and I guess 13 hours is a pretty long car ride for a 4 year old because at one point I woke up from a nap and realizing we were STILL on the road, I asked, "Do they speak English there?" I've never lived it down. Even came up at my wedding lol.
I love this thread!
I have a guy friend who is rather portly. All 3 of sisters/sils were pregnant at the same time and his niece asked him if he had a baby in his belly too.
i don't know if this is the funniest, but it was pretty funny.
Joe, 9 (trying to impress his brother): Do you know what a thesaurus is?
Jake, 7: Duh, it's a dinosaur.
My Four-year old niece was helping me unwrap gifts in front of guests at my baby shower.
Some friends of mine had decorated about 20 bibs with all sorts of pictures and sayings.
We were reading the bibs because some of them were funny (DH and I, and guests were all reading them together) and we got to a bib that said, "Just in case it is a girl" (the bib was decorated with flowers and was pink).
The next bib said, "Just in case it is a boy" (it was blue, and they drew cars on it).
The following bib was white my friends had drawn a cute bear on it. My niece clapped her hands with excitement and yelled "Just in case it's a Teddy Bear!".