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how to deal

EJZiggEJZigg
in Snarky and T-TTC

My DH and I have been TTC for over a year now.  It's getting increasingly more frustrating with every month that comes and goes and we're not pregnant.  Last month I was 5 days late.  I got my hopes up, and on the day I was going to get a pregnancy test, I got my period.  I was crushed.  I was crushed again this month when nothing yet again.  I'm not handling it very well this month at all. I find myself crying without any obvious triggers.  How are you supposed to deal with this disappointment month after month?  And if I hear one more person say "don't think about it and it'll just happen" I'm going to scream.

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Re: how to deal

  • katt3233katt3233 member
    You should start charting. And you should go see an RE (reproductive endocrinologist-ie fertility specialist). Visit www.fertilityfriend.com to learn how to start charting.
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  • katt3233katt3233 member
    And do yourself a huge favor and read Taking Charge of your Fertility.
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  • JenandtonicaJenandtonica member
    I dealt with it by being as proactive about my reproductive health as possible - short of getting my own medical degree and license to practice.
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  • Daisy07grayDaisy07gray member

    I'm so sorry that you're struggling.  I agree with pps- getting as much information about your fertility and charting help a lot, to keep you busy and you'll need it to move forward with medical help.  Good luck~ 

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  • yogisunamyogisunam member
    Knowledge is power, and always having a plan helps you stay focused. But it's a roller coaster no matter what. Do try to get out and find things you enjoy to give yourself a break from thinking about it...not because it helps your fertility, but because it's good for your psyche.
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  • SerendipitieSerendipitie member

    After a while, I just kinda gave up. It's not that I wasn't disappointed every month, I just kinda expected to get my period. That's how I survived. And managed to keep 7 pee sticks all the way to their expiration. LOL.

    In all seriousness, you do need to know about charting, get to know your body, make sure you have good timing, etc. before you really get too upset, IMO. While many people can have "oops" babies, and many others get KU pretty much the day they start "trying" not all of us are that lucky. I think they say even with perfect timing and everything normal, the chances of getting pregnant are still only 20% each cycle.

    Good luck! Hopefully with a little knowledge and some perfectly timed sex, you'll get pregnant with no issues.

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  • EJZiggEJZigg

    That is all great advice! I've been charting for the past 5-6 cycles, and have been visiting my OB/GYN just about every month.  I've done 3 cycles of clomid, and am currently on glucofache (sp?).  My DH has been tested, and we're going to a urologist in a week.  I'm hoping that this urologist can help with stuff on DH's end of things.  My OB/GYN said that if the urologist can't help, or if we try for another 1-3 months and nothing, that he would refer us to a specialist.  Hopefully it won't come to that, but it's good to know where we go next.  I'm going to try to get out and do something for me.  Thank you all for the words of wisdom.  Sometimes family and close friends just don't get what I'm really going through, so I really appreciate it!!

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  • SerendipitieSerendipitie member
    Big huge red flag. Did you get tested at all? I would run, not walk, away from a doctor who gives out Clomid without an HSG, so I hope you got one, in addition to other tests. Are you being monitored while on clomid to check your follies and your lining? You mentioned your H's results - are you dealing with MFI? And since you are on glucophage, have you been diagnosed with PCOS? This last post brings up a LOT of questions. Plus, when we say charting, we mean actually tracking your temp. If you are tracking your temps, you can usually tell when you ovulate, which tells you if your period is going to be late.
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  • EJZiggEJZigg
    I had some testing done and my doctor has been monitoring me monthly.  I'm not sure if one of those tests were an HSG or not. I have not been diagnosed with PCOS either. Basically I was told that my ovulation isn't consistent/good, and my DH's levels are low as well. I have been charting my temps, but guess I need to read up on how to better interpret and read that data.  I'm hoping that the urologist has good news to help us out without having to get into IVF, etc.   
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  • SerendipitieSerendipitie member

    I think you would know the HSG - you have to get naked under an x-ray machine and have dye pushed into your uterus and through your fallopian tubes while they take x-rays. If you haven't had that done, you don't know that your tubes are clear, and if your tubes are blocked, Clomid isn't going to help you. Plus, if you are on Clomid, you need to be going in for dildocam appts to check your follie growth and uterine lining. There are several women here who either did not ovulate at all on Clomid, or it thinned their lining so much that a fertilized egg wouldn't have a chance.

    I would start doing some research on your own. It all seems a little fishy to me, but without knowing what tests you have been through and what the exact results were, I have no idea. But I lean towards running, not walking, as far away from that doctor as possible.

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