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3rd Trimester
Please dont flame me , honest question .Inducing?
Back Story : My father in law has been sick for a very long time , had triple bypass surgery , his leg amputated (because of an infection ) , and right now they are thinking they might have to amputate the other leg (also because of the same infection) . His heart is in horrible condition , and they might just be done helping him at the hospital . If they send him home he will be going home on hospice at this point . My mother in law called me earlier today and explained to me that they have two options as of right now , keep him in the hospital ( he will live for about another month ) , or send him home ( and he will live for about a week ) . These are very hard things to hear at any point in life , but its extremly hard when you are 9 months pregnant .
Now here is the question : I am due wednesday ( the 13th of Oct ) , Do I ask my doctor nicely to induce soon after (they are willing to induce at 41 weeks in my practice ) ? I dont want to cheat him out of time in my belly , and I was going to go to 42 weeks if I could but I would really like him to meet his grandfather (our son is actually going to be named after him ) . The only thing this man talks about now is waiting it out to meet his first grandson (they have grand daughters already ) , and it breaks my heart .I want my son to come out NOW so he can meet this wonderful person , who wont be around much longer . Will my doctor look down on me for asking to be induce before 41 weeks ? I dont wanna look like an ass but my son doesnt seem to want to come out any time soon , and he HAS to meet his grandfather , he wont remember but I will . Sorry that was so long .TIA for any advice .
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Re: Please dont flame me , honest question .Inducing?
I'm so sorry about your situation. That's a lot of pressure you've put on yourself. It's really your call, but it's not like you're looking to induce at 37 weeks for comfort reasons.
I say baby will probably be fine to induce around your due date. Talk to your doctor openly about it and see what s/he thinks.
in your situation with a more than full term baby- i see nothing wrong with asking for an induction @ 41 weeks.
i'm very sorry
look at the birds | bless this food
Please keep in mind that induction can take several days. It may not even work forcing you in to a c-section. If that happens, you're going to be in the hospital for awhile in which case, your baby still may not meet his grandfather and you've put yourself and baby through a lot for no reason. Personally, I wouldn't do it. Yes it's a sad situation but your health and that of the baby are more important.
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.
If it were me, I would induce. However, if I had specific birth plans, (for me, I'm really scared of a C section) I would definetly go in with the realization, that it may not happen the way I want it to. But having my DS meet his grandfather would outweigh this times a million.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Most are okay with inducing after 40 weeks especially considering your circumstance. I'd ask about it and see the options and explain what's going on.
I'm sorry things are going the way they are. T&Ps for you.
wow, thats tough ((hugs))
I would ask to be induced. You are full term and then some. There is no reason why you shouldnt be able too
So sorry to hear your family has to go through this. I don't think your question/concern is flame-able at all.
Obviously as PPs have said you'll have to ask your dr about it, but if LO is at his EDD and your dr thinks both of you could handle induction, I don't see why not. I think it's completely understandable and it would be wonderful if you all could have the experience of him meeting his grandfather before it's too late. Good luck and my sympathies.
He's growing up, but he'll always be my baby!
Nathan--11/4/10
...big brother to...???? Due March 2014!
"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for"
So sorry for the situation you and your family are in. I agree with PP's to talk it over with your doctor and see where that gets you.
Only other thing; you mention in your post your FIL is dealing with an active infection (or it sounds that way, I could be reading it wrong). You may want to also mention that to your OB and speak to HIS doctors to see if it's safe for a newborn to be around him. It could be totally harmless or it could be something they advise against, depends on what exactly the infection is. Just a thought. Hopefully it all works out for you.
Personally, I'd just ask for C/S, but that's me. I'd rather have a controlled situation than induction, which, as PP said, lead to the need for a C/S after unsuccessful labor and such. Recovering from an emergency C/S is much harder than a scheduled one. If your FIL is in the same hospital, it kinda works out.
But talk with your doctor and see what s/he says.
And here's just something to consider long-term--
Please, please, please be careful what you tell DS as he grows up about this time. I was born as my grandmother (mother's mother) was in the end stages of terminal cancer. My entire childhood, and to this day, I was the "miracle" that "got everyone through" her dying. That may sound wonderful to you, and it may be true, but it puts a terrible burden on a person to know that his or her entire family's well-being rested on him/herself as a tiny baby. It's also extremely upsetting to have elder family members react with that kind of bittersweet, smothering love that people often show when something/someone reminds them of a time that was so sad.
It did a number on me, and my relationship with my family today is very strained because of "what" I am to them-- what I represent-- instead of who I am. Hopefully, your family is better at coping with loss than mine, but in the event they're not, you have to shield your boy from adopting the role of savior to everyone. He deserves to grow up loved for who he is and what he'll become, not his role in soothing everyone else's grief.
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds really tough. I have just gone through this myself. My dad passed away when I was 23 weeks pregnant (about 7 weeks ago). I am heartbroken that he will be missing out on meeting his first granddaughter. I'm honestly not sure what I would have done had I been full term in my pregnancy. I desperatly wanted him to meet my baby so I might have opted to be induced for that reason....but I can't say for sure. Anyway, I don't think anyone can tell you what you should do. I don't think there's really a "right" answer in this situation....
I think this is a totally reasonable question.
My mom was 39 weeks pregnant with my brother when her grandmother was in the active stages of dying from a brain tumor. She was incredibly close to her grandmother, they lived in the same town, and she and my father had even lived with her at one point. The way she tells it, she was under a lot of stress so her OB suggested that they induce her early so that she could be by her grandmother's side during her final days. She recalls a really painful labor, as she had gone natural for a previous birth, and a generally traumatizing experience of feeling out of control, which was clearly worsened by the stress. Her grandmother died three days after she gave birth to a healty, 6 lb baby.
This experience was a huge contributing factor in why she chose a home birth for me. When I asked her what she might have done differently under the same conditions, she replied that she wished she would have waited until labor started naturally. She felt like having the baby when she did actually made her stress worse. She had a really difficult time in the first weeks of his life and she feels badly about that.
What it comes down to is that it's going to be really difficult no matter what, and if it's really important to you for your son to meet his grandfather, you shouldn't feel bad about asking for an induction.
So sorry you're going through this.
Aw honey, what a shitty situation.
::huge hugs::
I think you've gotten some good advice here.