so, I hate my job...

joecubed · October 2010

Quick background - I'm an attorney working in a law firm. I want more time outside of work. DH has own business and currently makes dirt, but should continue to grow business and make more over time. His salary is less than 20% of mine, and being self-employed he doesn't get any deals on benefits. In my shoes, would you be more likely to try to:

1) eat rice and beans and start own firm in current town with lots of friends here and family a comfortable distance away?

2) eat chicken, rice and beans and work part time in a much smaller firm in current town?

3) eat steak and try to negotiate part-time track at current firm where there's not much of a chance that it would work based on prior attempts by other women?

4) move across the country to take dream job but be extremely far away from family and friends?

AshK6306 · October 2010

I would try 3 then if that doesn't work, 2. I guess it depends on what you're comfortable with. If you have a good savings and good support take the happier route, which seems to be 1. If you have a good relationship with friends/family I would rule out 4 for now.

jengon · October 2010

I say, stay at your current job and try to start your own later. Starting one now would probably be too stressful while prego and would still take a lot of time out of your day. Then again you won't want to spend lots of time at work once your baby is here either. Maybe start it right after the baby comes. That way you got the pregnancy out of the way and can still pull in the long hours to get it started and by the time baby is big enough to notice, you will be settled in pretty good.

soxfan74 · October 2010

I could not be away from my family, so I would rule out 4. I also think that spending time with my family is more important than anything. I do not like my job, however, I am staying with it because the pay is good and I am able to be home by 3:00. Good luck with your decision. I

roboat93 · October 2010

In my dreams where you have free time after working part time I would likely do number 3 while setting up number 1. From the sound of your post it seems like friends and family are really important to you so maybe #4 is like it is in your post, last. So if your number 3 while working on number 1 plan doesn't work, you still have number 2 as a back up plan and by the time all this is or is not worked out and you only have #4 left, then you're bambino will likely be old enough to travel and move but young enough not to be traumatized and your friends and family will have time to get used to the idea...

p.s. rice and beans makes me nauseous

MommaA117 · October 2010

I would try for #three. Since you will need more time for you new addition. If that doesn't work I'd do #two. I'd rather be semi comfortable then struggling and I won't leave my family. That's just me though.

nickelbabi · October 2010

I am in a very similar situation with my husband. He switched careers right before the economy tanked and loves his job but can't find a good paying full time position right now and we can't live off of his current income. I have a very stressful job that I often hate and I would much rather be a SAHM but I have fantastic pay and great benefits. At the moment, we are thinking he will be a SAHD temporarily, only working occasionally when I am not. He will continue to look for his dream job and if he gets it, then we will reevaluate daycare or me quitting my job. I would recommend an option that is not listed. Keep your job until after your maternity leave, save as much money as you can in the mean time and then reevaluate. That way you will get a chance to see how it goes. If it's not working out, then try 3, then 2 or 1. I would not try #4 right now, though. Wait until the baby is a little older if you decide to do that. We are currently far away from family and good friends it would be much easier if they were close.

joecubed · October 2010

Thanks for all of the advice, ladies. I feel like the clock is ticking a bit, since DS is almost 2.5. It's truly amazing how much life passes by while I'm stuck at my desk or, worse, at home but stressed out about not being at work.

I think our plan is to stick out the current situation until after the baby is born. I will try to arrange number 3 before heading out on mat leave, but if it doesn't go well, I'll try to figure out a number 2 situation. 1 is probably a little too risky with DH's current income.

DH currently works from home and watches DS. There's no jealousy at all...

MiraclePending · October 2010

I say number 4, but I'm not very close to my family. There's no reason to stay at your job if you hate it. I'd rather eat rice and beans every day than go to a job I hate.

marriedtoeric · October 2010

I'm also an attorney, though I work at a bar association, not in private practice anymore.

Is your only complaint that you work too much?

There is no way I'd start my own firm with DH scraping by with no benefits and a baby on the way. The economy stinks, and unless you have a huge book of portable business to take with you, it may not be a viable option right now. Plus, solos work WAY more hours than firm attorneys, unfortunately, since you lose the built-in support you have with a firm.

If you have an offer on #4, I think that would be my first choice if they would provide you with paid time off after you have the baby. If you can manage the financial hit of #2, and your benefits would continue at the same level, then that (along with #3) sound like viable options as well. If you've proven your value to your current firm, draft a proposal and see if they'll take it.

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