- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
unconditional love for baby??
I have previously posted about feeling slightly resentful towards my new baby. She is very demanding (like most infants, I guess) and is "keeping me away" from my toddler.
I have been thinking about my feelings, and I came to the conclusion that I don't feel attached to this baby as much as I feel attached to my toddler. Maybe the love is unconditional, but it takes some time to feel it?
I am a bit worried, because this is not how I imagined my life with a new baby would be. I would like to feel the attachment.
I was curious to see if everybody else feels an immense love towards their newborn immediately or if it takes some time to develop these feelings...
TIA
This discussion has been closed.
Re: unconditional love for baby??
I've heard from tons of women who say it takes time to "fall in love" with your baby. My experience was that immediate bond and unconditional love, but that isn't everyone's experience.
I've heard sometimes the feelings of detachment from the child can be related to PPD.
I would try and talk to a professional about feeling that way....
That being said, every one is different but for me it wasnt until we were alone (I had a pretty traumatic delivery) and she was out of the NICU that I really bonded with her and fell in love with her. I hope things get easier for you soon.
Well, you "know" your toddler and you're still getting to know and fall in love with your baby. It will take some time.
That said, if you feel distant or like something is a little off, definitely talk to your doc. Feelings of detachment can be a symptom of PPD.
Hang in there!
IMHO I feel like falling "in love" with your baby is like falling in love with anything or anyone else. You have to get to know them first.
I would die for any of my children but, until you get to know the baby it's hard to have the deep down, heart felt love that you feel for your toddler. It takes time to develop those feelings in any relationship. Now, some women can connect with their newborn like that, I'm sure. I know that it took time for me to love Emerson the way I do now.
I think you're very normal with your feelings.
This, this, this!
"I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
"Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
Definitely talk to your doctor - you can't be too cautious about PPD I think.
That said, I didn't have immediate unconditional love but didn't have PPD either. I think it was about 2-3 weeks before I felt that love. For me, I had a more traumatic L&D than I was mentally prepared for, which left me with more physcial recovery than I was prepared for, so it made those first weeks really hard for me because things were so different from what I expected. I had to rest so much that I didn't get to spend much time bonding or doing anything "fun" with my baby. It wasn't until I healed more and was able to have more "fun" time with the baby that the love came. Hang in there!
I never had that "so in love, cried when I met you feeling" with either of my kids. I would jump in front of a bus for them in a heart beat, but I didn't have crazy connection.
As long as you are still taking care of your baby and not dealing with PPD issues I think it's totally normal.
As flameful as this is - I don't like the baby stage. To me I just don't get much out of motherhood until they reach that age that you can really interact with them.
With DS I can tell you what I love about him. I could go on and on about how funny he is, or the cute way that he has to kiss his stuffed animals goodnight. With DD I love her because she's my chid. She is starting to get some personality, and I think it's neat that I know what song will make her smile, but other then that there just isn't a whole lot there. KWIM?