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Adoption
does your adopted child look like you?
my friend and her brother are adopted and they look sooo much alike and they look just like their adopted parents.
I told her this oneday and she said it is because when they were adopted, her parents requested to have a baby with similar backgrounds and traits (they were of irish decent, green eyes, light hair, etc) and they filled out this long answer/question sheet about all of their traits, etc.
I want to know if this is something that is common? If you are adopting a child (or have adopted) did you emphasize that you wanted the child to have a similar background as you?
this may be a dumb question but we are just tossing around the idea of adoption so I really haven't done any research. Of course if this is something we want to persue we would make sure we are fully aware of all of our options.
TIA!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: does your adopted child look like you?
We had no idea we were going to be adopting DD and she looks EXACTLY like my DH. As a matter of fact, our first outing with her when she was 2 weeks old was to the the sushi bar we frequent A LOT, and the owner fawned all over DD and said she can't believe how much she looks like "daddy." It was really amusing given I was just there a few weeks before and was never pregnant...
Sometimes things are just meant to be. Of course, my close friend (as white as can be) adopted siblings from South America (I cant remember which country) and they always say something stupid like "Those are YOUR kids???"
My daughter is related to me (she's also my niece), but she actually looks like my husband more than me!
It doesn't matter to us though...I wouldn't have been so specific even if we had done adoption differently through an agency. I didn't get to 'pick' my son's features with getting pregnant so it seems strange to want to 'pick' any of my kids features. Not flaming or judging...just how I personally view it. To each their own.
Our daughter is a different ethnicity than us, so she doesn't really look like us, but it's scary how like me she is. She's like a little mini-me in terms of personality and traits.
We were totally open as far as race, gender, etc. goes. To me, there's no way to "ensure" a genetically related child looks like you (my sister looks NOTHING like any of us), so why worry about it when it comes to an adopted child?
Personal Adoption Blog
Our child is a different ethnicity so he doesn't look like us, but like one of the previous posters said he is very like me and DH. My mom is always commenting on some of the things he does and how much he is like me when I was little.
Our son does look a lot like my husband. We get that ALL the time. We were fairly open with our preferences and that's what happened.
A friend of mine adopted from China - and their daughter is the spitting image of her DH, with the exception of skin tone. So you never really can tell.
My sister has a theory (and from what I've heard, others have the same theory) - that there are a select number of characteristics and traits in people- and that those people tend to "find" each other. Our son was always meant to be our son, it was just a matter of getting to us.
Interesting question!
You know, I attended a workshop related to adoption.A lot of the talk was the psycology involved in adoption.While I don't have the stat with me, in domestic adoption there is high liklihood that birth moms will be drawn to A-parents that share physical characteristics. If Bmom has dark hair, she may be drawn to dark haired a-moms.
My point is that it does make sense that dom adoptions w/in the same ethnicity could have resmeblences between child and parent.
But
IYou know, I attended a workshop related to adoption.A lot of the talk was the psycology involved in adoption.While I don't have the stat with me, in domestic adoption there is high liklihood that birth moms will be drawn to A-parents that share physical characteristics. If Bmom has dark hair, she may be drawn to dark haired a-moms.
My point is that it does make sense that dom adoptions w/in the same ethnicity could have resmeblences between child and parent.
But
You know, I attended a workshop related to adoption.A lot of the talk was the psycology involved in adoption.While I don't have the stat with me, in domestic adoption there is high liklihood that birth moms will be drawn to A-parents that share physical characteristics. If Bmom has dark hair, she may be drawn to dark haired a-moms.
My point is that it does make sense that dom adoptions w/in the same ethnicity could have resmeblences between child and parent.
But
You know, I attended a workshop related to adoption.A lot of the talk was the psycology involved in adoption.While I don't have the stat with me, in domestic adoption there is high liklihood that birth moms will be drawn to A-parents that share physical characteristics. If Bmom has dark hair, she may be drawn to dark haired a-moms.
My point is that it does make sense that dom adoptions w/in the same ethnicity could have resmeblences between child and parent.
But
You know, I attended a workshop related to adoption.A lot of the talk was the psycology involved in adoption.While I don't have the stat with me, in domestic adoption there is high liklihood that birth moms will be drawn to A-parents that share physical characteristics. If Bmom has dark hair, she may be drawn to dark haired a-moms.
My point is that it does make sense that dom adoptions w/in the same ethnicity could have resmeblences between child and parent.
But I
You know, I attended a workshop related to adoption.A lot of the talk was the psycology involved in adoption.While I don't have the stat with me, in domestic adoption there is high liklihood that birth moms will be drawn to A-parents that share physical characteristics. If Bmom has dark hair, she may be drawn to dark haired a-moms.
My point is that it does make sense that dom adoptions w/in the same ethnicity could have resmeblences between child and parent.
But I
findYou know, I attended a workshop related to adoption.A lot of the talk was the psycology involved in adoption.While I don't have the stat with me, in domestic adoption there is high liklihood that birth moms will be drawn to A-parents that share physical characteristics. If Bmom has dark hair, she may be drawn to dark haired a-moms.
My point is that it does make sense that dom adoptions w/in the same ethnicity could have resmeblences between child and parent. However, I find in more interesting to see how children pick up our venacular and quirks. Regardless of how our kids come to us, they'll all share characteristics of mom and dad. Nurture is a wonderful thing!
My DH was adopted, and I thought for almost a year that they were his birth parents. He looks like his mother, and walks like his father. I was shocked.
Depending on where you are adopting from, you can sometimes "request" certain things about your child. However, this is getting to be less and less the case in International Adoptions. The countries from which we have adopted take no preferences except gender, and sometimes even that falls through.
As far as our kids looking like us--people must think we are the old baby sitters! My DH is 6foot 7, blue eyes, sandy blond hair (what is left), of English and Scottish heritage. I am 5foot 8, blonde but redhead currently, green eyes. Our kids are Indigenous (Mayan) Central American. My daughter does act like me, and interestingly, our son is very laid back, like DH. We did live there with them for a long time, so I think they picked up our mannerisms from infancy.
Much love, Jill