Austin Babies

tips on how to prevent abduction/molestation

A gal on my MoMs board posted this, this is all stuff she learned at a lecture by a guy who specializes in this area.  Very scary stuff, but so necessary with kids.

teach your child: (a lot of this is for kids 5+)

-if they are ever taken by someone- to keep spitting on the ground... search dogs will pick up the scent.

-know your child's shoes - abductors will often cut a child's hair, change their clothes, even dye hair, shortly after taking them- but rarely change their shoes. Shoes that stand out = a good thing.

-teach your child how to point out the state you live in on a map. If they are found with someone in another state and asked where they live- the police will show them a map.... and of course- teach them their address, parents names, phone numbers.

-how to choose someone who can help in an emergency (ie- you get lost in a store) = pregnant woman, woman with a child or pushing a stroller, or woman who looks like a grandma.... statistically, these women will help and not hurt a child.

-don't ever force your child to hug/kiss someone to thank them for a gift... this teaches entitlment, which molesters use to touch kids... "i gave you that present, I deserve a hug/kiss" type situations.

-teach your child if they are ever taken to run away/escape if they can- no matter what they are told by the person - teach them that mommy/daddy will always be OK (abductors often say they will kill mommy/daddy if the child runs away).

-teach your child never to let someone other than mommy/daddy, etc - touch or VIEW their parts covered by a bathing suit.

-if your child goes missing in a store, etc - immediately start to yell "I can't find my child!!"... time is the enemy- do not worry about causing a scene.... And call for the child at his/her level - so the sound will travel better to their ears.... and call for child in a nice voice---- if you yell in a mad or scared voice they might hide thinking they are in trouble.

-he doesn't recommend looking up your area on that website that lists sex offenders b/c it's usually about 6 months behind, and so many child molesters are not registered b/c they were never arrested - usually when someone is arrested for molestation they have already molested 20+ children. He feels the website gives a false sense of security if nobody shows up in your area. NO area is safe. Always take precautions with your kids.

Re: tips on how to prevent abduction/molestation

  • Good list. I would add that even very young children can be taught important details: at 3, Meredith could tell you our names and the name of the street, city and state where she lives. At 4, we are working on teaching her the exact address and our phone numbers, and we're talking more about what is a stranger, why it's important to stay with us when we go somewhere, when it's okay to answer the door, etc.
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  • I'm going to add teach your child to call 911.  On a land line AND a cell phone.  That is a huge skill and so necessary for not only abductions but many other situations as well.
  • Maybe I'm just emotional and ***, but just reading through this list and imagining the scenarios made me cry. :-(
  • imagem_and_m:
    Maybe I'm just emotional and ***, but just reading through this list and imagining the scenarios made me cry. :-(

    me too.  I hate that there are people I have to protect my boys from and worry about.  :(

  • It is so scary to even think about this, but it is so important! I would have never thought of the shoes! 
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  • Thanks for posting this. It makes me so sad and ill to know we need to worry about this.
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  • thanks for posting, it's all so scary.  Another good tip I heard from a mom friend is to take a picture of your kid w/ your cell phone whenever you are in a situation where an abduction/lost child might be more likely (large crowds, airports, sea world, etc).  That way you have a picture to show police/others to help you describe him.

    I especially like this one:

    "-don't ever force your child to hug/kiss someone to thank them for a gift... this teaches entitlment, which molesters use to touch kids... "i gave you that present, I deserve a hug/kiss" type situations."

    I think it's important that we teach our kids early on that their bodies are THEIRS and they should never be forced to open themselves up to anyone.  Ever.

  • Good list.  It's so sad that these things are necessary.  :(
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  • imagem_and_m:
    Maybe I'm just emotional and ***, but just reading through this list and imagining the scenarios made me cry. :-(

    Me too.  :( 

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  • thanks for sharing.  good tips.
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  • I'm a lurker, and I'm late to post, but here are my thoughts...

    I love the tips about teaching children basic information that can help someone help them find their way if they get lost or separated from you (something that is likely to happen).  However, I'm bothered by the strong emphasis on preparing for a stranger kidnapping event (something that is so incredibly rare).  In the grand scheme, I feel this does more harm than good by instilling an unnecessary level of fear in parents and in children.  Of course, I strongly support the simple & obvious things like "Don't get in a car with a stranger", education on appropriate & inappropriate touching, etc.  But teaching a kid to spit on the ground if abducted, and being told (as a parent) that you should start yelling in a store if you lose sight of your mobile kid for a second feels more like fear mongering than reasonable preparation...and also normalizes a culture of fear.  Seeing that it is such an unlikely event, is this over-preparedness unnecessarily creating children who are constantly fearful of being snatched up?  Also, I think that if we're being told by these experts to prepare for such an unlikely scenario, then what about the millions of other scary, but just-as-unlikely, scenarios?  Seems we tend to worry about the most frightening instead of the most likely.  

     Anyhow, I mean no disrespect, just thought I'd share another perspective. 

    "British author Warwick Cairns, author of How to Live Dangerously, calculated that a child would need to stand outside alone on a street for 750,000 hours to guarantee a stranger would abduct them."
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