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April 2011 Moms
cynnnabun
member
MIL drama, always. Is this normal?
cynnnabun
member
So, a little background info. Before I got engaged my MIL was normal. I got engaged, and she turned into a crazy person. She caused a ton of fights and drama, we actually called off the wedding once because of a fight she started.
So, needless to say when I found out we were expecting, I knew drama would follow. Yesterday, we had an unplanned ultrasound. We had a doctor appt. and she sent us straight to an u/s to check the measurements. Well, I posted it on FB. She comments on my picture and goes "Nice Picture." and writes my husband a message and goes "Nice to see Cyndi got her ultrasound. Hope all is well. Talk to you whenever. Bye."
In the right context, it doesnt sound so bad. But trust me, she''s pissed. Probably because FB saw the u/s before we showed it to her in person? I guess.
My husband reads this, grabs the u/s, and RUNS out the door. I hate that she makes him feel so bad. And that she needs to make EVERYTHING a problem. It's not like we knew we were going to the u/s and didn't tell her. And then seriously, did she expect us to run right over to her house afterwards? IDK. I just feel like its seriously NOT a big deal and yet she's gonna make it about her. I seriously don't think I'm going to be able to handle the rest of my life with her. haha.
Am I out of line here, or is she being dramatic?
Chelsea; 7/22/2005 Carissa; 4/9/2011 Cassidy; 9/6/2012
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
This discussion has been closed.
Re: MIL drama, always. Is this normal?
I'm assuming and hoping she already knew you were pregnant. If she found out about it on FB, then I cancel my answer.
I hate nothing more than passive agression, and I refuse in all areas of my life to deal with it. Your husband is enabling her behavior by running over there and giving her what she wants.
Eff that. Say "thank you" and don't mention it again, or call her out on her behavior (which would be my personal choice.) And her son needs to be the one heading the discussion, this is his mother.
I can see why she would be upset that she wasn't one of the firsts to see the picture, in person, I think the way she acted was childish. And from what you say of her, it sounds like there is no way to make her happy.
I feel so bad for y'all when I read these MIL from hell posts.
Oh yea. We told her right away, the same day we told my parents. So no, this was definitely not her finding out we were pregnant. Just being grumpy about an u/s picture. And if I bring it up to the hubby, he gets defensive. So it's nice to vent a little on here.
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
Same here and I agree.
All of this exactly.
So I'm supposed to personally visit all my family members every time we have an ultrasound just because they might be offended that I posted it on FB? Hellz no. I'm so glad my family isn't that needy. Also, who says she 'barely knows' her FB friends? That's an odd assumption..
Her comment on Facebook was weird and instead of texting your DH, she should've called him and talked about it like grown ups. I hate text messages that people send trying to pick fights.
However, I have learned that I call the family (not all of them, mainly just parents) about baby stuff before I put it on Facebook. I have a friend who doesn't do this and it really hurts her MIL not to know. I guess it just makes them feel like your social network friends know more about their grandbabies than them. Just let them know out of courtesy
Not an only child, he has one younger sister, but they sound like the same woman. And my husband is the same. He'll give her whatever she wants not to upset her. When we first got engaged she didn't like the day we picked for our engagement party, then she didn't like the date we picked for the wedding. (And by not like, I mean threw a fit and told me that she was going to leave the wedding early because she had work the next day if I didn't change the date. Which, I didnt.) She refused to buy us anything off our registry and instead went to walmart and bought us paper towels and other paper products. (Not that I'm ungrateful, honestly. But the way she "REFUSED" to purchase from the stores I registered at. ugh.) She knew my parents were on a budget for the wedding, and yet invited a MILLION cousins of cousins of aunts that my husband didnt know (we actually got a call from one of them to ask US how he was related to my husband. That's how distant a relative it was.) She started on us because of the invitation wording, and she's already figthing with me about how old the baby is going to be before it sleeps over her house.. (..uhh, never?) We just don't get along. At all. haha.
Ok. End of rant. Honestly. haha
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
meh I don''t agree...there is no one besides MH and my kids that I would go out of my way for to show them the u/s picture before posting it on fb...and the peeps I have on fb are not strangers they are all my family and close friends.
I agree. We all have that feeling when we find out something important on FB. Neith my mom or my MIL is on FB (thankfully) but my dreadful SIL is. Just to please her I text her a pic of our u/s's before I upload them on our baby website or FB. I hate unnecessary drama, especially now that I'm pg.
If it's bothering you (who could blame you) you should mention it to your DH that you don't care for her comments. Seeing as how your DH caters to your MIL (running out of the room iwth the u/s?) he needs to cut the umbillical cord because he is a grown man with a family of his own. He now has a wife and child to take care of, not just his mommy. Of course, include her in everything, but you need to say when enough is enough.
June Siggy: Fave pic of Aubrey and me
Ok I know this will come across as mean but I do not want you to think that at all. You should have nipped this behavior in the bud with the wedding. Now she has learned that by throwing temper tantrums she will get her way. Trust me, this will not end with an ultrasound. Next she will be upset with the names you pick out, the theme of the nursery, who will be in the delivery room with you, how and if the baby will be baptized to where you guys will spend Christmas morning. At a point you have to be comfortable with her being upset with you guys. Think about it what is the worst that will happen if she gets upset? Will the earth explode or stop spinning? No, she will just be upset and that is ok. You can not control her feelings so just let it go.
If I was in your situation I wouldn't have responded to her and I certainly would have told my H to not go over there. If she wants to see the ultrasound pic in person, she can come here.
I think my mom would be upset if she found out on FB that we had an ultrasound if it was the first one.. I probably would have waited to post it until at least the grandparents had seen it first unless they were way out of town.. but even then I probably would have emailed it to them first before I posted it on FB.
no, you don't need to visit everyone. but this was a first pic and i think that grandparents deserve to see it and have that specialness before everyone else she knows. it's not that they're needy. just being considerate of some pretty important people.
and i don't think it's an odd assumption. most people have FB friends that they aren't neccessarily close to. i have a couple close friends, but i'm also FB friends with people i only see/talk to every once in a while.
I don't think you did anything wrong. Unless she lives next door, I see no reason to go out of your way every single time something new comes up with the pg... did you tell her every tie you and DH did the TTC Deed? did you run over their to show her your pee stick? Probably not!
I'll say that if this were a pic from you big gender reveal u/s and you'd announced the gender this way, that may be a little more cause for her to be upset. But, as this is a random regular u/s, I think the way you did it is fine. It's not like she'd get to keep the pic if you ran over there right away to show her. She actually gets to see it more this way!