- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
3rd Trimester
MIL Gave Our Baby a Name!
After we discovered we were having a boy at 20 weeks, my MIL decided to come up with a nickname for him since we were having trouble coming up with a name. Since much of her family is French, she decided to start calling him Gustov. We just kinda shrugged it off at first, thinking things would change after we actually named him.
Well, a couple months later we decided on Grayson. After using it aloud for a long time now, we're really attached to the name and love it! My MIL likes the name, but now she thinks it's hilarious that Gustov, shortened to Goose, means his name is Gray Goose (like the vodka). We're not very amused by this.
Despite the fact that we've definitely settled on the name, have told people, and use it to refer to our baby (who is due in less than three weeks!), she insists on calling him Gustov. And it's not just among us - no matter who's around, she calls him that. I'm really started to get worried that she won't ever use his real name and that the name Gustov will actually stick.
My hubby is in agreement here and says he'll work on trying to express that she ought to call our son by his real name once he's born. At my shower a few weeks ago, she greeting my belly by calling him Gustov. I corrected her (cheerfully and politely) that his name is Grayson now, so she could call him that aloud, but she refused!
Any ideas about how to handle this? I get along with my MIL ok, but she's certainly a stubborn and opinionated woman. (For example, I got a camera I love for Christmas, and when I showed it to her, since she's a photographer, the first words out of her mouth were, "You should've gotten this other brand instead.")
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: MIL Gave Our Baby a Name!
Let it go. My father came up with a nickname for DS that has a passing resemblance to his actual name shortly after he was born. After 2.5 years I've given up fighting it and just let my dad call him what he wants.
I've accepted that your child is going to have a special name for his grandma, so it's not unreasonable for the grandmother to have a special name for their grandchild.
If grandma wants to give the kid a nickname there is very little you can do to stop her (except cut her off, but this would be a totally horrible reason to do that). I think that if you and your DH have both told her his name and that you would prefer for her to use his given name there is very little else you can do. Lots of kids get nicknames from a grandparent...sometimes they stick, sometimes only the grandparents calls them the 'pet name' and it becomes a special thing between the grandparent and child. I don't see any harm in it.
My FIL nicknamed one of his step grandchildren "Jelly" (shortened from Angelique). He did this when she was born, she is nine now, and still "Jelly" to the family. My FIL also calls my son "Little 4" instead of his given name (DS is a IV) and we totally expect there will be some nickname from FIL for all of our children, that's okay, it's what FIL does and it is endearing and doesn't hurt the child's sense of self at all, contrarily it gives FIL a special link to the children he gives nicknames to.
I don't think that multiple nicknames ACTUALLY confuse a kid (but if you want to tell her that and think it will help your case, go for it). DS answers to his name (well, the shortened version of his name that we commonly use), he also answers to Pumpkin, Pumpkin Nose, Monkey, Monkey Nose, and Son-shine (oh, and Little Four). He's never been confused about who is being talked to and he has all kinds of little nicknames that get used regularly.
SIL did this too, except my DD is two years old. The nickname she came up with is so obnoxious, and she insists that her 3 kids call my DD exclusively by this name. I told SIL that I hated it, but that only fueled her obnoxious mind. It lasted for about 2 weeks, and she never answered to it, so they dropped it.
I wouldn't get too concerned just yet. My mom did the same thing with DS and she NEVER uses that name any more. It's either her pet name, Handsome Boy (which I think is goofy), or his real name, Liam. I'd say wait until after your boy is born and if she still calls him that, address it then.
*A side note, everyone in my family has a different nickname for my kids. None of them have "stuck". They both ultimately still go by their first names.
HILARIOUS!!!!!!
I have a gal at work that has already named my baby Courtney...not only does it bother me, but I don't even know the sex of my baby!! I already have two boys and she insists that this one IS a girl. On top of it all, I don't like the name one bit!!
All I care is that my baby is healthy.
I know it's upsetting to not have her listen, but if you've already told her and she keeps insisting, you may just have to let it go. The baby will not get confused about it's name, he's not a dog.
My grandmother called my father (whose name is Kenneth) Ivor his entire life because she preferred that name. Eventually she'll either stop calling him that or you'll get used to it. This was his own mother and he never got confused.
Let me tell you a Little Story...when my brother was born, my Aunt went to see him at the hospital. She took one look at him and said "HE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A JESSE, HE LOOKS LIKE A ROBERT!" Well 22 years later, he is still Robert to her. And it's actually cute that she has her own name for him. He knew what his name was but for some reason he always understood that "ROBERT" was also his name - even though she was the ONLY one that called him that.
We are currently expecting our first baby, a boy, and have had much pressure about choosing a different name for him - from our only living Uncle whom both my husband and me adore. So, instead of choosing the name that he likes best, we told him that our son would be named Ezekiel, but that to HIM, his name would be Dominic
At first he said, "No, that won't be his name" and I said "I think it will be SPECIAL and cute that he will have a name that YOU gave him"
Overall, just remember, the more you make it an issue, the more they will continue to push your buttons. And honestly, he is your child, and no matter what they will call him, you & your hubby will be with him & help him realize what his real name is.
Let me tell you a Little Story...when my brother was born, my Aunt went to see him at the hospital. She took one look at him and said "HE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A JESSE, HE LOOKS LIKE A ROBERT!" Well 22 years later, he is still Robert to her. And it's actually cute that she has her own name for him. He knew what his name was but for some reason he always understood that "ROBERT" was also his name - even though she was the ONLY one that called him that.
We are currently expecting our first baby, a boy, and have had much pressure about choosing a different name for him - from our only living Uncle whom both my husband and me adore. So, instead of choosing the name that he likes best, we told him that our son would be named Ezekiel, but that to HIM, his name would be Dominic
At first he said, "No, that won't be his name" and I said "I think it will be SPECIAL and cute that he will have a name that YOU gave him"
Overall, just remember, the more you make it an issue, the more they will continue to push your buttons. And honestly, he is your child, and no matter what they will call him, you & your hubby will be with him & help him realize what his real name is.
My MIL is OBSESSED with nicknames for her grandkids. She calls our niece "love bug" or "lady bug" and everything for our niece at her house has loadybugs all over it. MIL even wears a necklace that has a ladybug on it, for her. She made my SIL throw a garden themed birthday party, so that she could have ladybug cakes balls... on and on.
So, to try and be sure that we liked the nickname for our LO, we introduced "Cupcake" early on. Everyone was fine with that, MIL even bought her some cupcake items at our first shower... but then at our second shower, I opened a gift from SIL, which happened to be a pumpkin onesie. MIL gets the attention of the whole room, and announces that she will be calling our LO "Punkin" since that is what her dad called her. Which would be fine except that Punkin is my grandparents' dog's name. Awesome.
This is going to sound brash but Grandma calling her grandson by a pre-determined nickname is NOT that bad. My Grandma has nicknamed all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I still go by "Baby Gal" my brother, named Bren, was referred to as "Javier" for many years, and my cousin Seth is a grown man with his own children who still is called "Billy Ray" (yes after Cyrus lol). Billy Ray's daughter is now "Gordie" (spanish nickname for chubby-I know...not that nice but she's not chubby so it's kind of cute), my cousin Shannan (Shanny-the nickname that makes the most sense out of all of them) has a son, Marcos, who my grandma calls "Peanut". Now I'm 6 days over due with our first son, Cristiano, and he has been named "Sebastian" since the day we found out it was a boy! Oh, and btw, my husband Gerson ("Garrison") has been called "Herman" and/or "Henry" by my Grandma since we first started dating. Sebastian is NOT Cristiano's name but for some reason, I don't give a sh*t lol.
Is it maybe a power thing? Like "this is his name and YOU WILL use it" "No I won't!" "Yes you will!" lol You and your DH are naming him and he will know his real name and he will know his nickname that Grandma calls him. I think Gustov/Goose is cute!
My nephew Brenden is only 2 and answers consistently to "Brenden/Bren-Bren/Papa Bear" and he doesn't care! 
Anyway, there are worse things your MIL could be doing besides insisting on having a nickname for her Grandson. I, like many others here, say let this go...
My SIL is doing the same thing. When I was pregnant she asked what names we had picked. I told her all we had so far was Aspen. Now, Kahlen Aspen is three months old and she refuses to call her Kahlen, just Aspen, and now she has her three boys doing it too.
I asked her to please call her Kahlen because it is her name and might be confusing for her very quickly. She told me she just can't remember it because Aspen is what we first told her. I just left, not knowing how to respond to that. It is disrepectful. I think I may start calling her by a different name and see how she responds.
I want to know what happened since he was born a little while ago. What does she call him?
And, just my two cents on the whole thing, it would make me mad too. Gustov isn't just a nickname it's an actual name that she was trying to use in place of his name. However, I do think Goose would be a kind of cute nickname. We call DD Monkeydoodle or Monkey.