Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

New here...

Hello ladies...

I had a miscarriage on July 25th. And I feel like I should be over it, but I'm not. We weren't planning the baby-- it was a total accident-- but we were really excited about it. I was 7 and a half weeks along when it happened.

I guess what sucks the most is that they say there's nothing I could have done. But that makes me feel like it's going to happen over and over again!

We were due in March, and now I feel like if I'm not pregnant again by March, I'm going to have a really hard time with it. We decided to wait until the holidays to try again...I thought I'd join here for some support. My IRL friends either aren't having kids yet, or have had successful pregnancies. No one has had a loss.

I used to be really scared that I'd have trouble conceiving, I don't know why. I didn't. But now I feel like I'm going to have trouble carrying to term, and I'm terrified!

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Re: New here...

  • I completely understand I was also do March 15 and my sister in law is due March 21 and I really want to be pregnant as well by March thinking it will be easier on me! All I feel right now is jealousy and anger, which really isn't like me!!
  • imagejessicabarrup:
    I completely understand I was also do March 15 and my sister in law is due March 21 and I really want to be pregnant as well by March thinking it will be easier on me! All I feel right now is jealousy and anger, which really isn't like me!!

     Me too. Whenever someone announces they're pregnant, I get really upset. And it's not like me. And the weird thing is, our wedding is Nov. 20th (now...it was supposed to be May 2011, we moved it because of the pregnancy when we found out) and we had been totally planning to not to TTC until next summer. But now it's all I can think about.

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  • I'm sorry for your loss, Lots of hugs!!
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  • I was due in March, its not that date that terrifies me it is the whole month of September, which is when everything fell apart. We had planned our pregnancy and I didn't want to be huge in the summer, now I want to get pregnant again in January so that hopefully we will be almost full term in September and then if something bad happens maybe our baby will have a chance.

    I think that its weird they give you a three month period to get better before you try again which would, if you got pregnant right away put your due date right around the date you lost your baby.   

    I want to try again and I just feel like I want a baby to much so much that  either we will never get pregnant again or we are going to lose all our babies.

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss and all the pain you are going through...

    I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. This pregnancy was our first, and was also an accident, but that didn't stop us from being excited. We had a BFP on July 23, and found out last week, at my 12 week appt., that the baby had died at 8 weeks. My EDD was April 3, and I feel like if I'm not pregnant again by then it will be unbearable.

    I also understand how you feel that this will happen again. I always thought that if we had any trouble having to do with pregnancy, it would be trouble TTC. It never even crossed my mind that I could GET pregnant but not STAY pregnant. Now I worry about conceiving and miscarrying! Even though everyone says "there was nothing you could have done," and "it probably won't happen again," it doesn't make me worry any less about next time. Hang in there, and I'm glad you joined us for support, I've found everyone to be so helpful and understanding. Wishing you all the best.

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  • imageRoxyroodle:

    I was due in March, its not that date that terrifies me it is the whole month of September, which is when everything fell apart. We had planned our pregnancy and I didn't want to be huge in the summer, now I want to get pregnant again in January so that hopefully we will be almost full term in September and then if something bad happens maybe our baby will have a chance.

    I think that its weird they give you a three month period to get better before you try again which would, if you got pregnant right away put your due date right around the date you lost your baby.   

    I want to try again and I just feel like I want a baby to much so much that  either we will never get pregnant again or we are going to lose all our babies.

    Hmm, I never thought about that..It is weird.

    I am so sorry for your loss. Like you and pp's have said, I too hope that I'm pregnant come May, so that it would possibly be easier. Just make sure you have taken the time you need to heal. ((hugs)) 

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  • I am so very sorry for your loss ((((hugs))))

    This is a wonderful board, full of amazing and supportive women. I hope that you find some support and comfort here.

    You are not alone, we're all here for you.

    * PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * imageBloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Welcome and big hugs!!!

    I think everyone has that fear and it will probably always be there.  Statistics show that most miscarriages are the result of chromosomal abnormalities and the next pregnancy is often healthy.

    When I get pregnant again I'll definitely be nervous, but I believe you have to be positive and enjoy your pregnancy and baby.  You can't waste that special time worrying that something might happen.  Do what you can to ensure your baby is healthy... that's all you can do.

    You have support whenever you need it!  We all know how you feel!  I think of it this way.... Every day you get through is one day closer to your baby.  One day at a time.  (((((***Hugs***)))))


    BFP#1: 7/23/10, EDD 4/1/11, MC/DNC 9/29/10(14wks) Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP#2: 1/12/11 CP (6 Weeks)
    BFP#3: 6/26/11, EDD 3/4/12, Natural MC 8/5/11 (10wks) Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Hi Lulu and welcome. I'm so so sorry for your loss. I know that you must be hurting and have lots of emotions coming through. You will appreciate the support that you get on this board - we understand. I think that you should take the time you need and then you'll be ready to TTC again. It sucks that we will always be worried on our next pregnancies but we have each other for support. Hang in there.
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you decided to come on to this board, though. It's really helped me a lot and the women here are so great. Sometimes being reminded that no matter what you're going through or how you're feeling emotionally, you're not alone, really helps. Giving and getting support from this board and these lovely ladies has been the only thing that has kept me sane since my loss at 10weeks in August. I was due in March too, the 14th, and DH and I are most likely going to start TTC later this month or next. I want to be pregnant again by then too, but I know what you mean about being scared it'll happen again or that you won't even be able to get pregnant in the first place. I feel the same way, but I am going to soldier on. My loss has made my resolve to have a baby stronger. Like, hey Life. I know you took my first baby, but I am going to get a take home baby just to p^ss you off. I feel a new found determination that I hope will make me stronger, and I hope, when you're ready, that you do too. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  You are not alone in being scared of additional miscarriages.  I am terrified that I will have multiple miscarriages.  For a while, I really wanted to wait to TTC.  However, over time I realized that my desire to be a mom outweighed my fear of miscarriage.  It's not gone - but it's not strong enough to stop me from TTC.  I don't know if that helps at all, but that's what helps me get through this difficult time. 
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    TTC #1 since May 2010. BFP #1 - 5/31/10; m/c on 7/22/10
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  • Don't fret about the amount of time since your miscarrage and whether you should be over it or not.  You lost something dear to you and that takes time.  I lost my baby Nathan at 39 weeks last week and and just beginning the long journey to acceptance and recovery.  I commend you for being brave enough to try again. It is a scary process but many many people have successful pregnancies after having a miscarriage or stillbirth.  Trust in yourself and know when the timing is right, you will know. 
  • To Jessicabarrup

    Wow, same story here...I was due April 7 and my sil is due a week before me...She found out about a month or so after we did so she was still drinking and smoking whenever....yet she is still pregnant and I'm not...she also wasn't even trying and told me she wasn't ready yet....

    I keep thinking it will be so much easier if I were pregnant, too....esp with the holidays coming up.  Family who haven't seen her yet will be seeing her for the first time I'm sure come Thanksgiving etc.  I really don't want to be there for that!  I haven't seen her since finding out she was pregnant and I am so scared for that.

    This was our 1st cycle ttc after waiting for my first AF.  I just got AF today so I guess this cycle was a bust...that makes it so scary.  I just keep thinking what if it takes longer than the 3 months it took the first time, what if there's another mc, her being pregnant will make either waiting or going through another that much harder....

    Give yourself a pass for the jealousy and anger, I think we're human for it!

  • Wow, same story here...I was due April 7 and my sil is due a week before me...She found out about a month or so after we did so she was still drinking and smoking whenever....yet she is still pregnant and I'm not...she also wasn't even trying and told me she wasn't ready yet.... I keep thinking it will be so much easier if I were pregnant, too....esp with the holidays coming up. Family who haven't seen her yet will be seeing her for the first time I'm sure come Thanksgiving etc. I really don't want to be there for that! I haven't seen her since finding out she was pregnant and I am so scared for that. This was our 1st cycle ttc after waiting for my first AF. I just got AF today so I guess this cycle was a bust...that makes it so scary. I just keep thinking what if it takes longer than the 3 months it took the first time, what if there's another mc, her being pregnant will make either waiting or going through another that much harder.... Give yourself a pass for the jealousy and anger, I think we're human for it!
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