Anyone else thinking about 'going public' Oct 15??

babygirlpriest · October 2010

Our immediate family and closest friends know about our struggles but no one else does.

I'm thinking about going public with our loss. Probably with a FB status post about the day and remembering my 4 babies. My family and close friends have asked what they could do to support us Oct. 15 and I'm thinking about asking them to do something similar... which means even if I"M not friends with someone on fb, one of them probably is and suddenly EVERYONE in my life will know.

I think I'm ok with that. I have nothing to be ashamed of and I did nothing wrong and I want to do something positive in all this mess... and maybe raising people's awareness is what I can do?

The biggest reason I kept quiet about ttc was fear of it hurting me professionally. Now that it looks like our TTCAL journey is over, this is (obviously) no longer a concern.

Thoughts? Anyone else toying with the idea?

maymaymia · October 2010

I've been thinking about it a lot. I would love to go public but I don't have a FB. I've been trying to think of some other way to do it but can't think of any.

jen629 · October 2010

I was just thinking about you this morning...you know I have been going back and forth on this ..I am not sure how DH feels about it and I really need to talk to him ...I think I definitely will if he is on board with it...{{HUGS}}

Court1 · October 2010

Well, everyone in our lives pretty much knows about our loss. But I'm definitely putting it back out there on 10/15 with a faces of loss logo & status update. I think you should. We should all speak out about it so that it's not such a taboo subject for people. And you'll probably inspire someone else to talk about their story.

:::Now I'm crying. Damm Clomid:::

babygirlpriest · October 2010

Court1:

Well, everyone in our lives pretty much knows about our loss. But I'm definitely putting it back out there on 10/15 with a faces of loss logo & status update. I think you should. We should all speak out about it so that it's not such a taboo subject for people. And you'll probably inspire someone else to talk about their story.

:::Now I'm crying. Damm Clomid:::

This is what I'm thinking... every flippin time I DO tell someone, I'm shocked to hear they or someone very close to them has experienced something similar.

AppleRidge · October 2010

I am planning to post something. I haven't quite settled on the wording. It's been such an all-consuming part of my life during this last year and a half, and I just feel weird having kept it to myself.

KristysRedBarn · October 2010

I've been thinking about doing something. Our family knows and some friends do. As you all know I don't have a huge presence on FB, so I'm not sure that would matter, but I think it's important to do something. And like you, we know our journey is probably over, even though we'll keep trying for a little while longer, and now it somehow seems more important. Like I need to explain why we have been married 7 years (on the 17th) and don't have children.

jcath · October 2010

babygirlpriest:
Court1:

Well, everyone in our lives pretty much knows about our loss. But I'm definitely putting it back out there on 10/15 with a faces of loss logo & status update. I think you should. We should all speak out about it so that it's not such a taboo subject for people. And you'll probably inspire someone else to talk about their story.

:::Now I'm crying. Damm Clomid:::

This is what I'm thinking... every flippin time I DO tell someone, I'm shocked to hear they or someone very close to them has experienced something similar.

I've had this same experience. I think if its not too painful for you then it will certainly help others.

jennsadye1979 · October 2010

I don't know. I don't know why I am so wishy-washy when it comes to this. I am not ashamed, I love talking about my son, and I have no problem talking about both of my losses. I am very open with friends who knew. But, I never came out on facebook with either pregnancy, and I also don't want to become social napalm you know? I like that with some of friends who don't know, I don't have to talk about it. I can just be Jenn, regular old Jenn, not new loss Jenn people feel sorry for.

I have noticed that, with my first pregnancy, we told a much broader spectrum of friends and family we were expecting, cause we never thought about loss affecting us. After, I sent a few messages on facebook to friends who knew, but I wouldn't necessarily call, like my husbands friends wives, etc. With a few in particular, that message was the last communication I have received from them. People who messaged me regularly to chat about our lives, their kids, being pregnant. It's like they don't know how to talk to me anymore, and I know that it's more about them being afraid to hurt me, but I also wonder if they just don't want to talk about it.

However, the reason I feel like I should come out is I do feel like I am hiding something, that I am denying my son recognition, I am hiding the fact that I am a mother. I alternate wanting to scream from the rooftops to hiding and keeping him all to myself.

I think what I will do is post a picture of my candles, and say something generic.

Sorry for the novel...jees louise Confused

bbhalphen · October 2010

I haven't decided. I posted about elephants before, but nothing too specific. This wouldn't be THAT specific, but...I don't know.

ade2be · October 2010

I did last year and have continued to be public about my losses. Being public has honestly made me deal with my losses so much better. I feel more open about talking about them, and that has helped me make them real and has given me some real support when I've needed it.

But I will warn you, at least for me, very few people even commented on my post last year. Even when I posted about the ectopic, most people just ignore it and go on (besides the wonderful ladies on here that are FB friends). It is kinda depressing within itself. On the other side, other friends of mine with losses really opened up to me about theirs after the fact, which was great to have IRL to talk to.

PeetiePie · October 2010

I posted something about it last year, but didn't outright say that I had a loss. Most of the comments and came from bumpie friends. Our families had already known about our losses.

Clerk9 · October 2010

I plan on doing it. (A few days early, actually, because I'm going to be out of town on 10/15.) I was going to do the "I am the Face" picture with a mish-mash of the canned statements they have on their site (something about the significance of the day + I'm one of the people affected). It's a little easier for me right now since I'm not working & don't have to deal with that...although my co-workers were some of the only people who knew about our m/c since I missed work for it (& they've been nothing but wonderful about it).

JuJuBe3 · October 2010

I have definitely been thinking about it. There are people I really don't want to know, so that's one thing. The other thing, though, is that of the people that do know, I have received some really pitiful looks or comments that hurt more than the comments about us having kids by people that don't know.

Most people have been great, but the few that didn't, unfortunately, stand out. I'm also a pretty private person, so I really think the people I want to know, already do. Yet, I still think about it.

surfergirlkona · October 2010

I have already outed us once before, I went public with my blog earlier this year. I had an odd response from those I least expected and nothing from those that I did expect support from. I do plan on posting something, but not sure as to what I am going to say.

I think it is a wonderful thing we all stand together. There will be those that don't know what to say (hell I already lost those friends). Then there will be those that offer lots of love and support. Most importantly I hope to help someone that is silently suffering.

butterfly843 · October 2010

I changed my fb profile picture to the faces of loss one october 1st and changed my status about how october is pregnancy loss month.

michrocc · October 2010

I've been thinking about this. It kind of brings on a panic attack, and I'm trying to search myself to find out why that is. I think a lot of it stems from the fact that I got ZERO support from 98% of the family members and friends I did tell. I don't really trust people with something so close to me.

If I did, I'd fully expect that the only comments I got would be from you guys.

csquared426 · October 2010

PeetiePie:
I posted something about it last year, but didn't outright say that I had a loss. Most of the comments and came from bumpie friends. Our families had already known about our losses.

I had pretty much the same experience as Peetie. I will post something for that whole week. Not sure what yet tho. I usually grab something that someone has written eloquently.

"October 15th is infant and pregnancy loss awareness day. Millions of couples are affected by infertility..."

Anyone else thinking about 'going public' Oct 15??

Re: Anyone else thinking about 'going public' Oct 15??

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