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New here, with a question.

BellaDella BellaDella
in Single Parents

Hello, I am very new here. I need some advice on child support, if you all have any?? I would be thankful for any replies. 

    I just found out a few days ago that the father of my son had another fiancee. He is now saying that he does not want to see our son, changed his number, and cancelled his email account.

   The other girl is staying with him. They have offered me 500 a month in support, and to have it done by a lawyer. She says that because he has another child besides mine (that he has in the home, no child support on her) that if I go to court, they will award me much less.

  I am sorry this post is so vague. This has all just happened, and my head is still spinning.  There is a post on 0-3 with more details. This is not a man that I just met, we have been together for 4 years. I just cannot think right now and I do not know what to do. 

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Re: New here, with a question.

  • belle204belle204 member
    I really have no advice or much to offer other than don't let them bully you (for lack of a better phrase). Good luck. Sorry you're going through this.
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  • allyandpat2010allyandpat2010
    If he is not paying child support on the other child in his home, its going to have no affect on what the court will award to you. My STBXH still had to pay the required 20% of his earnings to his children's mother, regaurdless of us having a child together. If you know how much he makes and find out how much child support is in your state you can figure out where you are at. And GET A LAWYER!
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  • MizzizzleMizzizzle

    If you can afford a lawyer, it would be best to have a consultation. If you cannot afford a lawyer, you can simply go to the court house of your county and have a child support hearing set up... you will not need a lawyer for that. They will most likely go off of his pay, your pay, and other children to which he is paying CS... but as you said, the other child is not receiving anything like that.

    I know it sucks, but do everything by the book and it will all work out!

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  • Mama2S-K-MMama2S-K-M member
    First of all, I would not be speaking to the other woman.  He needs to be a man and speak to you regarding support for HIS child.  In Michigan parents get a small credit for other children they have in the home. Do you have any idea what he makes?  You can google your states child support calculator to get an idea.  And get a lawyer!
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  • fauxshelleyfauxshelley member

    Do not respond to the other woman.  Do not let her anywhere near your child.  This is freaking me out.  I have a horrible feeling that she might harm you and take your child.  Obviously if she knows about his other women and still wants to be with him, she is unstable.

    If you cannot afford an attorney, you can contact the office of child support enforcement  ( LINK ) and they will handle the case for you for free.  You need to have his wages garnished.  Do not trust this man to be responsible enough to write you a check, he won't.  Do not let him see your son.  He was very clear that he didn't want to see him, and who knows what he would do to him? 

    I am very sorry this has happened to you, but know that you are the lucky one.  At least you didn't marry that psychopath.  You can go on and rebuild a life for you and your sons.  Best of luck to you and feel free to come here for support  as much as you need to.

    ETA - I was wrong, they charge $25.  If you are on assistance, it's free. 

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  • BellaDella BellaDella
      Thank you all for the advice. I really appreciate it. I have a phone consult with a lawyer tomorrow at 3:30 and I guess I will just go from there. I will also be back with a formal intro once my head stops spinning! 
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  • MrsMammayMrsMammay member
    imageGylith:
    imagefauxshelley:

    Do not respond to the other woman.  Do not let her anywhere near your child.  This is freaking me out.  I have a horrible feeling that she might harm you and take your child.  Obviously if she knows about his other women and still wants to be with him, she is unstable.

    If you cannot afford an attorney, you can contact the office of child support enforcement  ( LINK ) and they will handle the case for you for free.  You need to have his wages garnished.  Do not trust this man to be responsible enough to write you a check, he won't.  Do not let him see your son.  He was very clear that he didn't want to see him, and who knows what he would do to him? 

    Wow.  Way to inflame the situation.

    They are broken up, so what's wrong with the other woman being in his life?  Why does that mean she might try to harm this woman and take her child?  You are seriously disturbed. 

    $500 is not bad to have offered without a fight.  Unless he makes a lot more money than average.  If they do it through a lawyer it usually has to be approved by a court anyway, and it can be set up through payroll deduction. 

    I really can't believe you.  Way to make accusations about someone harming the woman and taking her child or saying the guy might do something to hurt the kid. 

     

    Did you read the OPs other posts?  Because if you did and you're still feel this way, I'm thinking you're the one that's disturbed.

    This isn't a 'they broke up and he's moved on and is now engaged' situation.  This dude was leading a full on double life - with the OP for 4 years and the FI for who knows how long. 

    The FI just found out that not only has her FI had a relationship with another woman for 4 years but he has a child with her as well.  Any sane woman would dump his @ssso fast.  She has not only decided to stay with, but has been blowing up the OP's cell phone with texts about being her baby's step-mom and getting to know him.  It's creepy as fvck.  She has no legal rights to him and the OP has every reason to stay away from her.

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