2nd time moms- C'mon in!! (Advice for Newbs)

Chick7806 · October 2010

I'm inspired by the post in 3rd tri. What's some advice/knowledge you'd like to share for us newbs?

Stuff to bring to the hospital? Weird things that happened before/during/after labor? Encouragement for our nerves/fears?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately (keeping me up at night), and knowledge is power, right?? : ))

Gia&Chuck22308 · October 2010

My friend is in labor as we speak and it kind of brought me a reality check. And I started to freak. So I welcome this advice, lol.

ChristineRich06 · October 2010

I was scared to death of the epidural. In birthing class they made it seem horrible for both you and baby & my back tends to be very sensitive. I freaked out, crying, rocking back & forth (because of contraction pain) I couldn't catch my breath. I finally had it done & it really wasn't bad. So quick & then I got to rest & felt much better.

As far as things to bring, I would suggest some slip on slippers. Those hospital ones are horrid & hard to put on when you have a belly. Keep in mind that they might get ruined &/ or that after walking around the hospital you might not want to keep them anyway. Lucky for us we are due around the holidays & should be able to find some cheap.

The first time I was so afraid for DH to leave me there. Of course he stayed the night I was in labor. He stayed the next night too but slept on that pull out chair thing. He was so uncomfortable that the next night he wanted to go home. I cried & was so afraid to be alone. This time I can't wait! He can leave the first night & the baby is going to sleep in the nursery. If they need me or she needs to eat they can bring her to me. I'm looking forward to my "mini vacation" The staff knows more than I do and they are totally capable of taking care of my little one so I can rest.

Don't listen to horror stories, stay positive & make your personal wishes known. Good luck you'll do great!

Mjmksb04 · October 2010

I always tell people to bring as little as possible in the hospital bag, because everyone overpacks. I preferred to take off the hospital gown and wear my own clothes right after I had the baby, so if you think you will feel that way, bring a pair of sweat pants and T shirt (hospital maternity wards tend to be HOT). IMO, take full advantage if you can send the baby to the nursery at night. Obviously that is a personal decision but from our experience, I was so exhausted from laboring all night before that I took full advantage of the nurses caring for him the first night so we could get some well needed rest before heading home.

laurncui812.0 · October 2010

I had a c-section and was scared to death the whole time. The spinal block was nothing. I was so worried about that. They walk you in alone (so just be aware that your SO will meet you in there later). It all happens so fast. It feels like forever when your in there but it is really quick.

slwprincess · October 2010

Hahaha, funny thing is, I was just telling DH that I feel much more anxious and less prepared this time around than I did with #1. I think that's just a matter of being nervous about actually having TWO kids and the fact that I just don't have time to prepare for this one like I did the first time!!! Anyway, I will share a few things that helped me survive delivery and the first few months (besides thebump, of course!):

- When it comes to childbirth, FLEXIBILITY is your friend. If you go into it with an open mind you will not come out on the other side with a ton of regrets. Trust me, nothing about my delivery was what I expected and I had absolutely not prepared myself for the possibility of a NICU stay at all. But I found my silver lining and pushed on through and really have nothing but wonderful memories anyway!

- The first few weeks are HARD- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Don't try to do it all yourself, if someone offers to help, take it! Go ahead and make a little list of items right now that someone could help you with- food, laundry, watch the baby while you take a shower/nap, that way when they offer it, your mind won't go blank. Don't worry about being rude- they really wouldn't offer if they didn't WANT to help!

- Don't push DH away when he tries to help. He won't do it the way you would but that's ok. Involve him from the very beginning and you will be a team all along.

- Take time for yourself. Don't let 6 months go by and then realize that you haven't had a moment to yourself since giving birth. That is not healthy for you, baby, or DH and you will pay for it dearly in some other area of your life.

- If no one has told you this yet, BF sucks in the beginning. You should prepare yourself for that right now. It hurts, it takes a LONG time for them to finish a feeding, and it will frustrate the hell out of both you and the baby at some point. It doesn't mean it's not working or that it won't get easier but you need to have a clear set of expectations for just how much work is involved. One day, it will click and finally become that glorious experience you've heard of, but it will inevitbly take longer than you expected (it didn't click for almost 3 mos for me!). Oh, and formula is NOT the devil. If you need to sleep and there is no pumped milk in the fridge- have DH give the baby a bottle and take care of yourself. Just like with childbirth, the key to success here is flexibility and realistic expectations.

-Buy the DVD Happiest Baby on the Block. Skip the book- it will stress you out. Plus the DVD has great white noise on it that will help your baby sleep for the first few weeks. This + swaddling totally saved our sanity those first few weeks!

-Start a bedtime routine as soon as you come home from the hospital. We still follow the same basic routine to this day and I swear, my son is one of the best sleepers on the planet. But if your baby isn't a good sleeper- that's ok too. He/she will excel in some other area :-) so DO NOT COMPARE YOUR CHILD TO ANYONE ELSES. Just don't do it.

-And last but not least, take a deep breath and look around your house right now. Even take some pictures. It will be totally unrecognizable in 3 months. Count your blessings and spend every moment soaking up your alone time with DH. And when baby gets here, soak that up too. Everyone says it, but you won't really understand until its too late. It goes sooooo fast!!!

corbynlynn33 · October 2010

I've had 2 very different experiences, so I'll explain both.

The first, my DD, was 1 week early. I was eager to have her so I did LOTS of walking that afternoon to get things in gear. I probably walked 3 miles that day, then went in with contractions 4 mins apart. Things slowed down from there. At one point they were talking about sending me home because the contractions were getting weaker and farther apart. Again, being eager to be done with the whole pregnancy thing, I started walking the halls like a mad woman. I even did a few jumping jacks (which I don't recommend to anyone). That kicked everything back in gear, but I was progressing very fast ( got stuck at 5). A nurse recommended I sit in the jacuzzi tub for awhile to relax.

I have to recommend this to anyone planning on natural child birth. Although I wasn't planning on going natural, I didn't want an epidural---but wanted something to help with the pain. So, I sat in the tub for about an hour. The pain was gone, or at least barely there. The tub is a wonderful tool to help relax you.

Now here's the warning, once I got out of it the pain was unbearable. They helped me to the bed, measured me and I was at 10. No pain medication whatsoever for me. About 20 mins later I had a beautiful little girl. Overall, before delivery I was there for about 18 hrs.

Even though I had wanted medication, I survived. Not saying I'd voluntarily go through that again, I know I'll survive if I have to. And those of you on the fence about medication, don't wait to long in deciding---because there is a point of no return.

My second child, DS, was induced. This experience to me couldn't have been better. We checked in at 6 am. They started at 7 am. I had been dialated to 3 for over 2 weeks prior to this. So, once things got started it went pretty quick. At 10 am they gave me an epidural. And by 11am I had started pushing. This time it only took 7 minutes.

The worse thing for me was getting my IV's inserted at the very beginning. Although the epidural stung at first, once the medication hit I couldn't feel a thing.

As a side note, if you get ill with pain medication, like vicadin, an epidural may not be so pleasant for you. My sister had one and for about 3 hours was bent over a tray trying not to throw up.

Lastly, expect the unexpected...but know it will all work out in the end.

cc605 · October 2010

prepared to be very tired in the beginning and sleep at any advantage you get. Babies nights and days are totally mess up so just sleep when you can. I agree with the PP that BFing does suck in the beginning and your nips will be on fire BUT it does get better.

If you can have a parent/friend/husband someone there with you to help out the first few weeks it really is great.

At hospital make sure to bring your own pillow/blanket and a BFing pillow b/c hospital pillows suck!

plumerialost · October 2010

I wish I never took the child birth classes. They really freaked me out! I knew how labor and delivery worked. I've watched the shows, been to a couple live births with family. But those classes scared the poop out of me. So I say skip them. Big Smile I was literally shaking at the end of one class telling DH that they were gonna have to knock me out and then take the baby out, I couldn't do it. So knowledge isn't always power....it can mean a lot more stress as well. But then I did do it and it was no biggie...I wondered what I was so afraid of. You really don't need to bring a lot of stuff with you to the hospital. Travel size tolietries that you like, a robe so you can walk around, change for the snack machine for DH or SO/labor buddy, I just brought my ipod with headphones for myself.

After baby....it's really hard. I sometimes believe I suffered from some form of post-partum depression, but with an active duty Air Force DH, the last thing I wanted was the Air Force to look down on me so to speak. Don't hold back from the docs when they ask about you, because if you aren't well, it makes taking care of baby that much harder. Accept help from family and friends if they offer. And always give yourself an extra half-hour when getting ready to go/be anywhere! But it's all worth it, and it flys by so fast.

Chick7806 · October 2010

Thanks for all of the great info, ladies. : )) It's good to hear that everything will eventually turn out okay. To me, labor right now is just this huge, scary great unknown. I've been reading up and trying to prepare, but like PPs have said, I'm pretty sure it's nothing you can totally prepare for.

It's good to hear stories like these! Thanks again!

LIBride6-16-07 · October 2010

When I had DS I was in labor for 32 hours and ended up having a C. So I was in there for almost a week. A few things I found I needed was my cell phone charger since I was there so long. Also the travel size soaps are good because the hospital gives you soap but it is not that great on your skin. It doesn't smell great and left my skin dry. Bring your own slipper. The slipper socks suck. I'm not sure what other moms experiences were but my feet were so huge and swollen from all the fluids I had gotten that my slippers didn't even fit. So I might bring a bigger size or find ones that fit a little big on me normally. I also plan on bringing light clothes becasue the hospitals tend to get hot. One other thing is coins or singles for vending machines. You may be in labor overnight and H might get hungry while the only thing accessable is vending machines.

I would also say don't feel bad if you want the nurses to take your LO for the night if you are too tired. I know some might not like to do this and that is fine but I really needed the rest and skipped a feeding throughout the night to get some extra sleep.

Let H learn through this process too. I remember H changing his first diaper and I mentioned he had it backwards. That got him upset and then I got upset and it was not pretty. So give him a break if he is doing things to your liking. He is learning too.

Be flexible. If you forgot something it isn't the end of the world.

KJKNAJ · October 2010

Since everyone else has already covered the 'big' stuff, I'll mention something trivial: CEREAL. Have lots of cereal at home ready for the first week or so. For the moments that you have no time to prepare a sandwich, let alone a meal, cereal is the ideal thing to have in the cupboard. It's also better than reaching for potato chips or sweets. So, yeah, cereal.

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2nd time moms- C'mon in!! (Advice for Newbs)

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