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Military Families
mollylila
member
just the baby and me
mollylila
member
I could handle being pregnant without DH, and even childbirth...
But taking care of a newborn is hard. I am so lucky to have family here to help out a little, but I still get so overwhelmed. I literally am ALWAYS 100% responsible for LO, its all on me. I love her more than I ever thought was possible and wouldn't change it for the world, but its just a little overwhelming knowing it will be like this for the next year or so. I know even if he were here, I would still be doing a lot. Its just hard for me to hand LO over to a family member if I have to do something for myself (like go pee, shower, etc) and I feel like I would trust DH a lot more and wouldn't worry every second that I am not with her.
I have to hand it to the moms who do this on their own with more than one. I could not imagine what I would do if we had my stepkids full time and I was on my own like this.
Anyone else having a tough time with this?
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Re: just the baby and me
I LOVE MY THREE KIDS!
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No experience myself, I just hopped over to this board, but I'm about to be in the same boat. My DH is underway & won't be back until after our LO is born. He left in August. Anyways, I'm about to be in the exact same situation & not really looking forward to it. I too have family close, but it's not going to be the same...
When will you get to see DH again?
Hang in there mama, newborns require a lot of attention and work and I know its hard. DH is here, like physically in the city lol, but with his work and his schedule and everything he's either at work or sleeping usually. I know its not the same thing, it's a million times harder being alone, even with family.
When BM moves away, SS will come here full time, and DH will deploy soon after. I'm nervous that I won't be able to handle it with a baby and a 5 year old, but God made us Navy Wives for a reason!
If you need anything let me know!
Give yourself a day or so to feel overwhelmed and sorry for yourself. Get it all out. Then suck it up, pull on the big girl panties, and make the best of the situation. You can either spend the whole deployment barely scraping by and feeling sorry for yourself, or you can find the silver lining and try to make some fun memories.
Try and make plans to get out and do something once a week for you and LO. Go out to eat by yourselves (scary to think of with a baby, but far easier than you imagine I promise), take her to the zoo or an aquarium just to let her stare at the animals, go for walks in a park, head up to an outlet mall if you have one nearby... just get out and DO things. And take lots of pictures for daddy of course. You'll feel better about the situation, and he'll feel better knowing that not only do you have things under control, but you're owning it.
You have family nearby that's willing to help? TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT, OMG. Hahahaha. I would kill just to have even one family member here to help out every now and then. My mom is coming to visit at the end of this month and I am literally counting down the days. A whole week with someone around to help? Heaven!
Hand the baby over long enough to take a shower (or a nap!). She will be fine. I've known some pretty incompetent people in my life, but I've never met anyone who wasn't capable of holding a baby safely for 20 minutes with the mother in the same house.
In fact, take baby steps with it, making the ultimate goal for you to be able to take an entire afternoon to yourself to go shopping or to lunch and a movie. You have to find some time for yourself or you will lose your mind, and you're SO lucky to have family nearby and not have to rely on leaving her at daycare to get that time like I do.
You can do this. You can own this. You just have to have the right attitude for it, and that's something only you can control.
Thanks for all the advice and encouragement.
I have always been in the "there is no other option, so suck it up and make the best of it" camp... I just had a frustrating night with a fussy baby.
I feel a lot better now, and probably will even more once I can get out of the house more. I had a weird threat on facebook about the baby and was so freaked out, and was advised not to go anywhere alone with her for awhile. But I can't wait to get out more. I know it will help things.
Thanks again!
What do you mean by 'weird threat'? That sounds scary!
DH and I are both Navy and he deployed last month so I'm alone with my sweet little boy as well. It's both harder and easier than I thought it would be. The easier part is because having Harper to take care of takes my focus off how much I miss DH. I also don't feel as lonely as I have during previous deployments.
If you need to talk I'm here!