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Stay at Home Moms
Moving and Need to Vent a Little
DH got offered a job with an airline in the Northeast. It's going to be a great move for us - higher pay, lower cost of living (because we can choose where we live, within reason) and a company he can advance and even retire with and will really enjoy flying for. We decided since his hub will be Newark to look in upstate New York - around the Finger Lakes. I have some family up there and he can easily commute from Syracuse to Newark for work.
The problem is my sister. She's only 19 so I cut her a lot of slack because teenage girls are drama queens but she's really grating on my nerves now. DD is the only niece/grandchild on my side of the family. Every time she's over here, she goes on and on about how 'selfish' DH is for insisting on remaining a pilot in this bad economy and moving us so far away. It's 'selfish' for me to take the baby away from everyone. So on and so forth.
I understand she's upset about it and my parents are sad too (though they are supportive of the move) but this is really not a big deal. DD, DH and I get unlimited free flights as do our parents and we get 12 buddy passes a year to use or give away as we wish. As a SAHM I am pretty much free to travel whenever I want and can easily get back home for visits. DD has already taken some very long trips and (so far) is a great traveler. I just get sick of hearing all of the negativity. I also get to hear about how awful the climate in NY is and how isolated and miserable I will be. Pretty much anything bad she can come up with.
I'm not really looking for solutions here. I have tried talking to her but she's not really a very rational person when she's happy so once she's upset, forget about it. I just need to vent my irritation so I don't explode at her. I'm actually really excited about this move. We've had a rough year financially and it's nice to finally be getting a break and a fresh start. Thanks for reading if you got this far haha!
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Re: Moving and Need to Vent a Little
Sounds like your sister has a lot of growing up to do. With the current economic situation, a JOB is a good thing be it Jersey or Timbuktoo! You pointed out some good perks to the job and hopefully she'll get over it soon!
Hugs and good luck packing!
Wait, your DH is going to commute from Syracuse NY to Newark NJ???? Will he be flying to and from? That's a 4hr drive.....
ETA: I don't know how pilots work actually, now that I think of it. I guess he goes away for long periods? Sorry, it kind of scared me when you said he could easily commute. That's far!
Congrats to your DH on a great job! That is very exciting. The Finger Lakes is a very very nice area- you should have a GREAT time house hunting.
I wouldn't worry about your sister. She will adjust. Like you said- just dramatic teenage stuff. You and DH are seeing the bigger picture for your family- and that is all that needs to happen.
That is one of the best perks i love as a SAHM- to just pick up and go- so enjoy it. My sister is 21 and she would react the same exact way- so i totally GET how you are feeling.
I assume he will be flying from Syracuse to Newark. My BIL is a pilot and commuted from Orlando to Houston for 3 years until he moved to New York and is now based out of Newark.
OP, Don't worry about your sister. She needs to grow up. You and DH have to do what is best for your family which it sounds like you are doing. I totally get how you are feeling. We moved 9 hours from our families 3 years ago for DH's job and my MIL acted just like your sister is acting. She made DH feel so guilty about moving and "leaving her". We moved because he got a promotion and more money which gave me the opportunity to SAH. It was also better for his career and gave him more opportunity to move up.
Congrats on your DH's new job and good luck with the move.
Congrats on the new job! I know you were hoping for it. But I'm also sorry for you because you're moving away from our awesome climate, heh heh.
Seriously, though, I can relate to your sister a bit. Mine was offered a promotion in Boise a few years ago, and we were all very sad at the thought of my niece and nephew going to live in another state, where we wouldn't be able to see them all the time. I just told her that we would miss her a lot, but that I supported her decision, whatever it was. She wound up staying. It would have sucked if she'd left, though.
So I think your sister is justified in feeling upset that you're going, but she seems too young to really understand the financial realities that come with raising a family. Does she expect your husband to completely change careers so that you can stay in CO? Because that's obviously not realistic. She's probably going to pout about this for a long time, but she'll come around.
Yes, he's flying