Babies: 9 - 12 Months

UO about teen moms

I know it is not Thursday, but I have an UO.  I hate women who  think that if you are not married and or a teen that you are a bad mom. Or that their mother or family is taking care of the child or raising them.

 I am 19, own my own home, a new SUV, make my own money, with no help from my family! My family simply does family things for DS. They baby sit when they want, play with him, etc. 

 Just because I am a "teen" does not make me a bad mother. And if you think that, you need to give your head a shake. I know plenty of married "adult" women who are doing far worse then me.

Re: UO about teen moms

  • Yes ITA. I'm 20 & unmarried and a better Mom than a ton of married older Mothers that I know!
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  • ITA!!! 

    I'm 21 and a better mother than our friends who are 26. She dropped her baby at his parents house at 4 days old to go drinking. She is always dumping the baby places to go out and go shopping. Its disgusting. I look young, and people are always so judgy because I look younger. But I know I'm a better mother than most.

    The proof is in the pudding, my son is the happiest baby.  

  • Well obviously I'm gonna agree with you. Stick out tongue I'm married, and was when DD was conceived, but I was still a "teen mom". Haha. Weird to think of it that way.
    Anneliese Olive 11/5/09
    Hazel Dianna 1/8/11
    Luna Valentine 4/25/13


  • Yes Although I think that being 18-19 and out of high school is a lot different than being in high school in the teen mom aspect, I agree.  Age doesn't matter.  It's what you make of it, and the choices you make as a parent.  It was the norm back in the day for women to start having children in their teens... and they weren't judged I'm sure.

    Good for you and all the rest on here that stepped up and are awesome moms.  Trust me, you aren't missing out on anything! I bet you in 5 years you'll look back and people will be doing the same old thing they were now.  You, on the otherhand, have meaning and a purpose in life.. that also keeps you in line Smile

    I wasn't a teen mom, but I got pregnant at 21 and became a mom at 22.  None of my friends had kids... looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. 

  • I totally agree. I was 20 when I got married, 21 when I had Olivia and although i'm not a "teen mom" I still feel judged sometimes for being young. Age has nothing to do with how great of a mother you are!
  • True. But most teens, even 18/19 don't have stable jobs or careers, and they don't understand consequences of unprotected sex, which it's a basic concept. I am not saying teen moms are bad moms, because I have seen some pretty terrible middle aged mothers, I'm just saying that most teens are still pretty dependent on others, and are only making 30k IF that, kids tend to get expensive. But I know that money is not a determining factor of good parenting.
  • I think there is a big difference between 15-17 years old and 18-19 year olds, IMO. Most 18 and 19 year olds are able to live on their own and understand that when you're pregnant you're about to encounter the most responsibility you'll ever have in life. When you're 15 and 16 years old you're still a kid, regardless of being called a "teenager". I've had a personal relationship with someone who was a teen mom; 3 before she was 18. And she honestly had no idea how to provide for her children. And from what I've seen on 16 & pregnant, most of those girls are completely naive about how 'easy' it's going to be to become a mom.

    Now having said that, I agree with you when you say some middle aged moms are horrible.

  • I was 21 when I got pregnant and 21 when I had DD and I really haven't had anyone look down their noses at me or anything. There are sooooo many people my age and younger that have kids around here that I guess it's the norm. I agree with PPs...there's a difference b/w 18 or 19 years and 14-17. When you're still in high school there's a lot you don't know about supporting yourself let alone another human being that needs so much from you.

    FWIW I make under $30k and although I live with my parents I do pay rent. I am still doing well and DD is provided for with little state assistance. (I was on WIC for about 6 months only for the formula.) She doesn't need fancy clothes, expensive toys etc to be happy and healthy. Like a PP said, the proof is in the pudding. My DD is the happiest baby I know.

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  • I believe you, I was 34 with my first child and I have no idea how anyone even in their twenties handle it let alone teens. I don't doubt there are teen mom's out there that are together enough to be good parents just like there are plenty my age that aren't!
  • I'd say the "teen moms" here are the exception and not the rule regarding teen mothers.  Realistically, most teen moms live at home, have their parents support them, don't finish high school/go to college and aren't the most responsible parents. 

    Most 17 year olds don't have the means or education to support a family like they would if they waited and had a family later.  I'm not saying you can't be a good mom as a teen, but that it is more responsible to have a decent education, life experience and job prospects, before you have kids.  And yes there are crappy moms of all ages.

  • imageLizard2022:

    I'd say the "teen moms" here are the exception and not the rule regarding teen mothers.  Realistically, most teen moms live at home, have their parents support them, don't finish high school/go to college and aren't the most responsible parents. 

    Most 17 year olds don't have the means or education to support a family like they would if they waited and had a family later.  I'm not saying you can't be a good mom as a teen, but that it is more responsible to have a decent education, life experience and job prospects, before you have kids.  And yes there are crappy moms of all ages.

    This exactly.
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  • imageInLoveWithMySchmeester:

    ITA!!! 

    I'm 21 and a better mother than our friends who are 26. She dropped her baby at his parents house at 4 days old to go drinking. She is always dumping the baby places to go out and go shopping. Its disgusting. I look young, and people are always so judgy because I look younger. But I know I'm a better mother than most.

    The proof is in the pudding, my son is the happiest baby.  

    So much more makes sense now.  You're 21 

  • Op, is your home on wheels perchance?
  • imagesnacksnick:
    Op, is your home on wheels perchance?

     

    Nope we own a single dettached home.

  • Well, you must have a fantastic job or live in a fantasicly affortable place, because most people, no matter their age don't make enough for all of that plus a child without swimming in debt.
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