6-year-old girl getting highlights...thoughts??
laura&dan05
member
So yesterday we took dd for her first hair cut and the client after her was a 6-year-old getting highlights. Our stylist (also a friend) told us before the girl came in and told us it wasn't her first time getting them. I asked if she participated in pageants because it seems like something I'd see on Toddlers and Tiaras! The stylist said that she didn't think she was in pageants. Dh and I were really surprised. DH asked what kind of message that mom was sending to the little girl by letting her (or telling her) highlights were important in the first grade? My concern was if this was going on at 6 what would be going on at 16? I realize highlights aren't the worst thing ever but it was still shocking to us. Maybe we're just getting really old but is this common? Would you let your 6-year-old get highlights???
On a really judgy side note when I saw the mom the highlights in a little girl started to make sense. The mom (I would guess in her mid-late 30's) was wearing a pair of jeans with bebe written across the butt in rhinestones 
DH and I concluded there wouldn't be any highlights in the near future for dd or any rhinestones on my ass:)
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*Surprise BFP-T18 baby lost at 13w 1/10 *FET #1-DS born 2/11
Re: 6-year-old girl getting highlights...thoughts??
No way on the highlights or the jeans.
Even a perm should wait until at least 10, IMO (and these days I don't think perms are worth it all, but try proving that in the mid-80s, hee hee). I'd say makeup after that, and highlights even after that...with the girl's own money if they're that important to her!
It totally sends the wrong message that what she was born with isn't good enough. If she wants to spray Sun In in her hair in elementary school, go for it. Highlights certainly aren't plastic surgery, but for young children, I think the message is similar.
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I was reading this thinking "I bet the mom has rhinestones on her ass" I'm not even kidding. lol.
I think it's wrong. There's a well-known (blech) blogger that has a beautiful daughter and she photoshops her eyebrows in every photo she posts of her. That child is TWO.
Having worked in residential treatment for Eating Disorders, I can honestly say there was a LOT of correlation between the mom's desire for perfection, and how that manifested into their daughters. I did photos for a family once and the mom certainly had the appearance of disordered eating (and now "knowing" her on FB, she does) and that SIX YR OLD DAUGHTER was trying to correct me on what angle she looked skinnest in, and not to shoot her from below b/c it would make her face look fat. She was six.
Those girls watch their moms. We have to be VERY careful what message we're sending!
I really try to be in the "never say never" camp...but I am pretty sure my husband would divorce me if I took G to get highlights at 6.....
I have several issues with this. Messaging about beauty, self esteem, etc. Value of money (how much do highlights for a 6 year old cost?-- I can hardly afford to get my own hair done). And...it can't be healthy to be exposed to chemicals like that for a 6 year old.
I had red hair growing up (still do but it has gotten much lighter over the years) and I HATED it. When I first learned about "Sun In" when I was 12 or 13 I BEGGED to use it and my mom told me she would ground me if I ever used it.
I can't imagine even considering highlights for DD that young! I know girls are growing up faster and faster (which scares me!!) but there are some things that are non-negotiable to me.
DH's niece has been shaving her legs since she was about 7-8 and wearing a full on bra before that (she's as thin as a rail... she's now 11 and is nowhere near needing a bra). I don't get it. We don't spend too much time with them for many other reasons, but partly because I don't want her to influence DD in any way!!
No way, no how...just on principal
And at that young of an age, they are still growing and changing every single day, I wouldn't want to miss out on seeing any of those changes, even just in their hair, by covering anything up or changing anything....if that makes sense
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"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
I really don't understand some parents these days.
I have a 6 year old and there is NO way in HELL I would let her get highlights right now. She needs to be focusing on learning to read, and school rather than her looks!!
I think in the tweens its okay- but not at 6!
DD #1 {04-19-2004}
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So...here's the thing. I was in the Never, Ever club on this issue. DH's little cousin had highlights at 8 and I was shocked! I went on and on about it to a few friends. I wasn't allowed to see PG-13 movies until I was 13, no make-up until I was older and didn't get highlights for the first time until I was 22.
However, if they were doing those natural, wash out highlights (which isn't what DH's cousin had) that wouldn't damage her hair and she really, really wanted them, I would let my 7 or 8 year old. I'm more vocal on words written across the tush or short skirts, bare midriffs, putting holes in yourself at 12 and tattoos.
I worked for a retailer that served the Tween girls. There were several outfits I wouldn't dream of letting my daughter wear. I want her to enjoy being a kid. I want her to feel like she didn't grow up too fast. I wasn't a girly -girl. But my sister was. And my sister's niece just went to this "organic" salon and had highlights (lil girl is 6 and 3/4 if you ask her) put in two weeks ago. Honestly, I couldn't even tell you what looks different. They are plant based and wash out quickly. But, my sister's SIL (who I respect a great deal) made the point that a number of the competition cheerleaders on her squad had them, so this was her "acceptable" alternative. She can't get her ears pierced until she's 12, wear makeup until she's 13 (not even for competition, where the coaches fight the mom on it) and other rules. So this was just the battle she wasn't going to pick. It was something her DD wanted and the mom felt it wasn't life altering.
My Mom never had her hair dyed. My daughter will never (God willing) know her Mommy without highlights. She may want to "do what Mommy does". My Mom let my lil sis paint her nails when she was 3 b/c she always watched Mommy do it and wanted to be like Mommy. So, I agree we should watch what we say and realize the implications of our attitudes, comments and choices have on our daughters. However, the jeans are going to be a No go in this house
Totally ridiculous!
This just got me thinking: do you listen to 95.5??? Mojo was discussing this stuff the other morning because there was a mom who took her daughter to get waxed (eyebrows and upper lip....) at the age of 7......so then they got into a big discussion about highlights, waxing, make-up, etc. at young ages.
I obviously don't have a DD, but there is no way at 6 years old she would be getting primped like that!
A giant NO! When she can pay for them and maintain them , ( 25-30yo), then it would be fine with me :-) And she really should be wearing them with her rhinestoned jeans!
On the other hand I have friends who have had their hair highlighted so as to look more like their children. ie lots of highlights when her daughters hair was really light. Mom got tired of being asked "where did she get the blond hair from" so mom went more blond in hopes it would stop the questions.
No way! I'm actually pretty appalled at this! Sad what this world has come to (for some people)...
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!