To all the Mamas who aren't 'excited' about LO....

lulu3061 · October 2010

I feel bad that you thought you would get flamed for admitting this...where does it say you have to be excited about something like this, it's just how you handle it when it actually happens right?!?

I'm feeling all P&R today....must be the lack of sleep. Wink

Bet you thought you were gonna get flamed when you saw this didn't you.

LovesMM · October 2010

You wouldn't DARE flame me!

lilmgirl · October 2010

LovesMM:
You wouldn't DARE flame me!

I might Devil

Lynball · October 2010

I REALLY feel guilty for not wanting this whole thing/not being excited when I read about the girls who have had SO much trouble getting pregnant. I have the one thing they've been trying so hard to get, yet I can't be excited about it. Makes me think "What kind of a$$hole am I?"

Angeldcf · October 2010

It took us a longer time to get pregnant, & we had given up. We had both come to terms with being DINKS for a few more years & were really excited about saving money, traveling, etc. The +hpt was a shock.

I'm happy about it, but there's still so much left to do that I'm very stressed out right now. I had a small anxiety attack yesterday realizing baby would be full term in 8 weeks & possibly here earlier. We're simply not ready.

I also feel like I lack the "girly" gene. I don't enjoy shopping nor am I very emotionally expressive. I don't go crazy over baby stuff (OMG, that frilly dress is so cute!!!) and focus on practical things. As a result, it's very difficult for me to relate to other females.

stilts1 · October 2010

Angeldcf:

It took us a longer time to get pregnant, & we had given up. We had both come to terms with being DINKS for a few more years & were really excited about saving money, traveling, etc. The +hpt was a shock.

I'm happy about it, but there's still so much left to do that I'm very stressed out right now. I had a small anxiety attack yesterday realizing baby would be full term in 8 weeks & possibly here earlier. We're simply not ready.

I also feel like I lack the "girly" gene. I don't enjoy shopping nor am I very emotionally expressive. I don't go crazy over baby stuff (OMG, that frilly dress is so cute!!!) and focus on practical things. As a result, it's very difficult for me to relate to other females.

This exactly. We tried for almost 2 years and had 2 miscarriages. I had just given up and was just about to book our next cruise when we got "the news"! I really just figured this pregnancy would end up in a miscarriage too...but here we are nearing the end and our little girl is alive and kicking!!

I just go through phases where I get totally excited about finally realizing a dream we've had for a while now, but then I'll get sad thinking that the pregnancy isn't over yet and anything could still happen. I wish I was a more optimistic person...

And I don't get the big deal over the frilly stuff. I'm pretty practical and will have to make a decided effort to do "girly" things w/ my daughter. It will all work out though...maybe she'll be more like me and be a no-frills kind of girl.

gstf344 · October 2010

Lynball:
I REALLY feel guilty for not wanting this whole thing/not being excited when I read about the girls who have had SO much trouble getting pregnant. I have the one thing they've been trying so hard to get, yet I can't be excited about it. Makes me think "What kind of a$$hole am I?"

From someone who is on the other side of things and can't physically be pregnant, please try not to feel like an a$$hole. We all have feelings and things we go through. They aren't always pretty or easy but that's life and we all go on our own journeys. If I spent my time getting piissed or jealous about every pregnant woman I saw or every post I read complaining about pregnancy symptoms my life would honestly be consumed by it.

I think most people who are in my shoes move past the grief and would never think you are an a$$hole for the feelings you are having. I feel quite the opposite actually. Its great to see such honesty and you all should feel proud that you aren't putting on a face to say you're excited when maybe you aren't really feeling that yet...I know lots of women who lie to fit into that happy, pregnancy sterotype when they are actually dreading it..Sad but true.

LaLaaaa · October 2010

I was gone all day so I think I must have missed something. But I think I'm "one of those people". I am happy to be pregnant, but I don't enjoy being pregnant. And I feel like I haven't "bonded" with my baby. I'm excited I guess, but scared too because I know I'm going to be responsible for a whole other person. I haven't really admitted it to anyone because I feel ashamed thinking it

MrsRonBurgundy · October 2010

I am not excited. I feel like I'm in mourning for my life that is passing me by. I hate being pregnant and tired all the time. My DH works nights and I will be alone with the baby by myself every weeknight until midnight. I went to a friend's house who just had her baby and when her husband came home from work she seemed sooo relieved. I went home that night and just cried hysterically about the thought of being in baby jail every night.

I do not like babies. I do not know if I am maternal or unselfish enough to even handle kids. I think I should "talk to someone" about all this but I am sooo busy right now that the thought of a weekly appointment stresses me out. We are gut renovating our new apartment, I am swamped at work... I know I should be grateful for all my blessings, tht I can even get KU, that my husband is wonderful and caring and will do more than his fair share with the baby, but i am terrrified and lonely.

Cheekers2010 · October 2010

lindsayluong12:
I was gone all day so I think I must have missed something. But I think I'm "one of those people". I am happy to be pregnant, but I don't enjoy being pregnant. And I feel like I haven't "bonded" with my baby. I'm excited I guess, but scared too because I know I'm going to be responsible for a whole other person. I haven't really admitted it to anyone because I feel ashamed thinking it

This!

I know I will love my little guy, but sometimes I definitely feel like I am mourning for my old life. It was very happy and my DH is my best friend and has been for many years. I'm afraid of losing all of that. Not to mention that we travel a lot and I'm worried that LO will change things-well, I know he will, but I'm hoping that we can manage to continue doing the things we love.

IncogNeato · October 2010

Peeking in. As a former psych major (which OBVIOUSLY makes me an expert, right?) I just want to say that all of the feelings in here are TOTALLY normal. All life changes come with complicated feelings and that's why so many cultures develop rituals around life changes like weddings, funerals, births, etc (and yes, weddings, births, and funerals are very similar in some ways.) It's because it really isn't supposed to be a seamless transition. I read a lot during my engagement about how normal it is to grieve the loss of your "old life" in a way before getting married, too.

So no matter how you feel, don't feel guilty, girls.

Tamzin418 · October 2010

I'll jump in on this one. I'm 36 and my husband is 47. We only got married in April of 09 and had decided we were not going to have kids. No desire, no interest and we were fine with that. I was devastated when I found out I was pregnant and we had a soul searching weekend where we both had to mourn not having the life we'd planned. And some days, I still do some of that. Many people would be horrified that we were not happy at all about be being pregnant. I waited as long as possible before telling people about the pregnancy because I was afraid they would pick up on my ambivalence. Every time we have good test results or pass a major milestone, I feel more and more excited about the baby and more confident that my life will be better for having this little girl in it.

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To all the Mamas who aren't 'excited' about LO....

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