My boyfriend promised to quit smoking cause i had to...

nikkibeth19 · October 2010

and he hasn't quit!!!!! it's driving me mad!

and i get headaches everyday...and my abdomen keeps going in & out of cramping pain...

8 weeks along and he's complaining about sex!

staycee · October 2010

did he say when he promised to quit by? Sounds like a real sweetheart.

snickers83 · October 2010

staycee:
Sounds like a real sweetheart.

Ditto.

Scout05 · October 2010

Lovely. What a peach of a guy.

vans or violets · October 2010

Good luck with that. My husband promised to stop drinking beer at home because I can't have wine. I'm still waiting.

MiraclePending · October 2010

It's a lot harder for some people to quit than others. You have a physical responsibility to stop smoking and he doesn't. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances, period. Give him awhile. I'd guess that he won't quit until the baby is born.

Oatoa · October 2010

MiraclePending:
It's a lot harder for some people to quit than others. You have a physical responsibility to stop smoking and he doesn't. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances, period. Give him awhile. I'd guess that he won't quit until the baby is born.

Not to be rude but he does have a physical responsibilty to your unborn child to quit. If you can smell the smoke, you can inhale the toxins. It's hard to quit I know from experience. I haven't had a cigarette in three years and I crave one everyday. Sorry to point out, but most likely if he isn't quitting now he probably won't quit when the baby gets here either.

armandos_girl · October 2010

MiraclePending:
It's a lot harder for some people to quit than others. You have a physical responsibility to stop smoking and he doesn't. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances, period. Give him awhile. I'd guess that he won't quit until the baby is born.

Eff that nonsense. He helped make the baby, ergo, he should also take responsibility and quit smoking as well. She doesn't get awhile to quit one of the most addictive substances, neither should he.

kje120 · October 2010

I'd tell him he's not getting any til he quits.

MiraclePending · October 2010

Oatoa:
MiraclePending:
It's a lot harder for some people to quit than others. You have a physical responsibility to stop smoking and he doesn't. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances, period. Give him awhile. I'd guess that he won't quit until the baby is born.

Not to be rude but he does have a physical responsibilty to your unborn child to quit. If you can smell the smoke, you can inhale the toxins. It's hard to quit I know from experience. I haven't had a cigarette in three years and I crave one everyday. Sorry to point out, but most likely if he isn't quitting now he probably won't quit when the baby gets here either.

Toxins? Yes, there are many in cigarette smoke. I seriously doubt he's blowing it in her face though. Just because you can smell a cigarette on a person doesn't mean that you are inhaling toxins. There are plenty of toxins you inhale every minute that are way more toxic than cigarette smoke. It's his body, and it may be very difficult for him to quit. You may have been addicted to cigarettes, but you have no idea what he is going through.

I saw my dad struggle to quit for over 25 years. It was only after he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (unrelated to smoking) that he decided to quit. For some, a baby is enough of a reason to quit. For others, it isn't. Instead of preaching to a choir up on that pedestal of yours, you might want to consider being more understanding with those who struggle with addiction.

To the OP: I'd suggest telling him that the smell of his smoke makes you physically ill and you can't handle it. If he wants to smoke, he should have to take a shower or something of that nature. There are medications he can try if he's interested in quitting. The chances of him quitting cold turkey is extremely small.

ohglow · October 2010

I agree with KDodge. Still... he deserves to feel some guilt about this.

mommy411 · October 2010

tell him to grow up and quit, sorry.It is the unhealthiest habit. You and baby are breathing in his smoke...umm not good.

When baby is here smoke on his clothes is not healthy for baby.

august06mom · October 2010

He smoked before ... did you really think he was going to quit just beause you got a BFP? It doesn't usually work that way.

beautifulsin90 · October 2010

I am sorry.

FacciaBella83 · October 2010

I quit smoking for the second and final time one month before we started TTC. I know how hard it is and you should be really proud of yourself for succeeding.

As far as your bf, first of all, he should NOT be smoking around you or in the house, (assuming you live together). If he promised you, he should be keeping his promise. If he wasn't planning to quit, he shouldn't have made the promise in first place. I'm guessing he feels since he's not pg, it's not as important for him to quit, but I think you need that support from him--and it's in the best interest of the baby.

I would definitely sit down and talk to him about it. If he knows what you're going through because of him and still doesn't do anything about it--and has the cojones to complain about sex on top of all that--he's being 100% selfish. He needs to be firmly reminded that he is going to be a daddy and being selfish is no longer an option. That baby comes first, starting the moment you got your BFP. Lay down the law, honey. His present behavior is unacceptable.

KayteeL82 · October 2010

MiraclePending:
Oatoa:
MiraclePending:
It's a lot harder for some people to quit than others. You have a physical responsibility to stop smoking and he doesn't. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances, period. Give him awhile. I'd guess that he won't quit until the baby is born.

Not to be rude but he does have a physical responsibilty to your unborn child to quit. If you can smell the smoke, you can inhale the toxins. It's hard to quit I know from experience. I haven't had a cigarette in three years and I crave one everyday. Sorry to point out, but most likely if he isn't quitting now he probably won't quit when the baby gets here either.
Toxins? Yes, there are many in cigarette smoke. I seriously doubt he's blowing it in her face though. Just because you can smell a cigarette on a person doesn't mean that you are inhaling toxins. There are plenty of toxins you inhale every minute that are way more toxic than cigarette smoke. It's his body, and it may be very difficult for him to quit. You may have been addicted to cigarettes, but you have no idea what he is going through.
I saw my dad struggle to quit for over 25 years. It was only after he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (unrelated to smoking) that he decided to quit. For some, a baby is enough of a reason to quit. For others, it isn't. Instead of preaching to a choir up on that pedestal of yours, you might want to consider being more understanding with those who struggle with addiction.
To the OP: I'd suggest telling him that the smell of his smoke makes you physically ill and you can't handle it. If he wants to smoke, he should have to take a shower or something of that nature. There are medications he can try if he's interested in quitting. The chances of him quitting cold turkey is extremely small.

Have you ever heard of second hand smoke? Someone doesn't need to be blowing it in your face for it to be bad for you, especially because you live together and are around each other a lot.

What does he say when you ask him about when he is planning to quit?

TiffaniMay · October 2010

Ehh..good luck with that. I was a smoker, too, until I found out I was PG. I feel so wonderful now, I am never going to pick up the habit ever again! DH is trynig to quit and is down to only 3-4 a day, which is a huuuuge step from his normal pack a day. Of course, he doesn't do it around me at all, always goes outside. I haven't craved a cigarette one time since quitting cold turkey.

Angel0423 · October 2010

idk... cigarette smoking is an addiction. My parents both smoked for years. My mom "quit" all three times she was pregnant, but started back up shortly after. Didn't actually quit until about 15 years ago (I was ~11). I don't think the "surprise we're pregnant, let's stop smoking" thing is going to work. I hear its hardest to quit during a stressful time in your life or during a transition. Him promising to do it because you had to, I wouldn't count on it. If the risk of lung, oral, and esophageal cancer, as well as increased risk of heart attack and stroke isn't scary enough to quit (or not start in the first place) I don't see a baby being a major motivator. Probably would have been better if you guys would have decided to quit before trying so it could be on his own terms, not out of obligation or guilt. He probably doesn't actually WANT to quit smoking.

SN: This all from a non-smoker

nikkibeth19 · October 2010

no...he didn't say when but i assumed he wouldn't be smoking around me when we go out with friends that smoke...and give me the temptation...i haven't smoked since i found out...but i mean it's irritating when i'm hanging out & everyone goes outside for a smoke & i'm left inside...

Pennylane824 · October 2010

I'm glad you stopped because it is hard to quit. You have to support him and not ridicule him into quitting. Please don't listen to other people that say tell him to suck it up and just quit.

Tell him you want him to quit and all of the reasons it would be better if he quit but if you try and guilt him into it or force him to do it, it will never work.. especially if he's been a long time smoker.

Does he want to? Have him look into aids that can help him! The American Cancer Society has a quit line that has lots of resources! hope that helps. Its 24 hours, I used to work there. 1-800-227-2345

Want a personalized experience?

My boyfriend promised to quit smoking cause i had to...

Re: My boyfriend promised to quit smoking cause i had to...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards