Now what? (re: toddler weaning)
KelliLynee
member
DD is 16 months old and has nursed at bedtime every night of her life. At this point it is her only nursing session. I am quite attached and was not looking forward to the day when she stops, but I think that that time might be coming. The past 3 nights she has essentially refused to nurse and asked to go to bed instead (which she has never done). I am following her lead, and letting her decide when she is done.
I am very lucky in that she has always been a good sleeper, and starting a few months ago she stopped nursing to sleep, but would nurse for a bit & then go to bed awake & fall asleep on her own. We never had to "train" her or anything, she just figured it out on her own.
Ive been nervous that when I decide to wean her she would have a hard time going to sleep, or cry and really want to nurse. Now that the past 3 nights she has asked to skip nursing & go straight to bed, I sort of want to take that good momentum and let this be the time we choose to stop nursing. But I am also really sad about stopping, and I am also just a bit nervous that this is just some sort of phase, and that she will change her mind in a few more days or weeks & I wont have enough milk any more. Tonight we were out late & when we got into her room she pointed at her bed. I sat down in her rocking chair (where I nurse her) & she just laid her head on my chest. So I rocked with her a bit, then put her to bed (without nursing).
My question, is sort of a silly one. First, any advice you can give for my situation... what would you do? Continue to offer? Put her straight to bed without offering? (She never asks to nurse, so If I dont offer, she would not nurse.) But my bigger question, what exactly do I do at bedtime if I'm not nursing her. Should I go straight from reading her story (skip over when I would normally nurse, and put her straight in her bed. Or should I (can I?) substitute a cuddle for the nursing, without creating bad bedtime habits. She falls asleep pretty quick, so I dont want to rock her to sleep, I just want to rock & cuddle for a bit, without her falling asleep. I guess I"m just afraid we'll do that, and she'll get used to being rocked to sleep or almost to sleep, and then we will HAVE to do that every night.
Also- when you dropped your last nursing session were you uncomfortable at all? My boobs are a little tingly & Im debating pumping. She doesnt take in much milk anymore so I can't imagine it will be that bad if she does decide to stop completely.
Thank you if youve read this much & for sharing your opinions.
Trying for #2 since July 2010
BFP 8/1/10, missed m/c, D&C 9/15/10.
BFP 1/8/11, chemical pregnancy.
BFP 3/4/11, measured behind all along, no more HB 4/18/11. D&C 4/29/11. HCG didn't drop, Repeat D&C 6/17/11; confirmed molar pregnancy 6/23/11.
Forced break, including two Hysteroscopies in October to remove retained tissue.
BFP 12/29/11! Betas @ 10 dpo = 85, 14 dpo= 498, 22 dpo = 7242
Heard HB 1/24/12. 144 bpm!
Luca Rose born 9/9/12! More than worth the wait!
Re: Now what? (re: toddler weaning)
Well, we're in the same boat exactly. DD hasn't nursed to sleep in awhile, for the past many months she's nursed before bed, we rock for a few minutes, kiss and cuddle, and then she points to her crib and I put her in. In the past week, I've had evening plans and I've missed two of her bedtimes and she went down just fine for DH without nursing. Tonight, I didn't offer and she was happy to rock with me in our chair for a few minutes, then she pointed to her crib and said "nooze" (snooze).
I feel a little sad coming to the realization that I won't have that connection with her anymore. She does still nurse first thing in the morning, but I'm considering not offering that session anymore either. I will be away from her for 4 full days in November and I think I'd like to be completely done by then. I know she'll be fine and probably won't really even notice when we stop altogether, but it really makes me sad. Each morning for the past few weeks I've considered not offering to nurse, but I always do because I want to. To sit there and know this is the last time hurts a little.
I don't think rocking and cuddling without nursing is creating bad habits at all. Your LO isn't going to want to be rocked when she's 7. I love those sweet moments before bed when she's in her jammies and all cuddly. I savor those.
Skipping sessions doesn't make me feel tingly or engorged at all. My boobs just feel empty all the time, although she does get milk when she nurses. My advice to you is not not pump. If you're uncomfortable, I'd suggest hand expressing in the shower.
Wow...that got long!
Trying for #2 since July 2010
BFP 8/1/10, missed m/c, D&C 9/15/10.
BFP 1/8/11, chemical pregnancy.
BFP 3/4/11, measured behind all along, no more HB 4/18/11. D&C 4/29/11. HCG didn't drop, Repeat D&C 6/17/11; confirmed molar pregnancy 6/23/11.
Forced break, including two Hysteroscopies in October to remove retained tissue.
BFP 12/29/11! Betas @ 10 dpo = 85, 14 dpo= 498, 22 dpo = 7242
Heard HB 1/24/12. 144 bpm!
Luca Rose born 9/9/12! More than worth the wait!
Yesterday was more "Boo me, she wants to stop" and today is more "Wait a minute. She really wants to stop! What do I do?" LOL.
Thank you for responding : )
Trying for #2 since July 2010
BFP 8/1/10, missed m/c, D&C 9/15/10.
BFP 1/8/11, chemical pregnancy.
BFP 3/4/11, measured behind all along, no more HB 4/18/11. D&C 4/29/11. HCG didn't drop, Repeat D&C 6/17/11; confirmed molar pregnancy 6/23/11.
Forced break, including two Hysteroscopies in October to remove retained tissue.
BFP 12/29/11! Betas @ 10 dpo = 85, 14 dpo= 498, 22 dpo = 7242
Heard HB 1/24/12. 144 bpm!
Luca Rose born 9/9/12! More than worth the wait!
We weaned at 18.5 months and it was somewhat similar. He would still nurse if I offered but was less interested. We actually went back and forth for a few weeks (sometimes nursing, sometimes not), which was fine with me. I just mostly followed his lead. It took so long to wean that I was never engorged and I don't think he was getting much anyway. I tried to pump once in there and basically got nothing, so I just stopped.
Our nighttime routine used to be bath, PJs, books, nurse while singing songs, into bed (almost dead asleep). I was really nervous that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep, and it only took a few days for him to adapt. All I really changed was that after books, we turn out the light and sing a song or two while cuddling, then into bed. He started out almost falling asleep when I was singing/cuddling, but now we just sing one quick song and he goes into bed awake and falls asleep on his own. I definitely do not think you have to cut out the cuddling! Honestly, I plan on spending quiet time with my kids right before bed as long as they'll let me.
As long as he can adapt to someone else putting him down, you'll be fine. Enjoy the snuggles while you can!