We've Got a Biter. Advice Needed Please!

hisaak · September 2010

Okay, long time lurker ... first time posting. Figure after almost 2 years lurking it is high time! And yes, I am slightly ashamed that the first time is because I need help.

Our little guy is just over a year. An absolutely wonderful kid. BUT ... he is a frustration biter. It wasn't so bad when he would just bite the toy, or the carpet, or the chair ... you get the picture.

But he has moved on. He now bites people - hard, and very intentionally. If you remove him from something he is after, he will crawl until he gets to you and chomp on the nearest limb.

We have been firmly telling him "we don't bite <insert name>" but it doesn't seem to be helping at all. It is only getting worse. I know it might just be a stage we have to get though but - any suggestions???

ETA: Physical discipline is not an option for us at this time ... so any suggestions not involving physical pain are appreciated. Thanks

jhclarke92 · October 2010

I know that this might not be a pleasant idea, but I've always been told to bite them back. I haven't gotten to this point yet with my daughter as she is just now getting her teeth. However I have two sisters that were born when I was in my early teens. I remember the biting when they were little and my mom always told me to bite them back and it worked. It took a couple times and it was heart breaking to do it, but they figured out that it hurts and it's not a nice thing to do. Hope this helps!

Lotzodotz · October 2010

I am happy to read that physical discipline is not an option for you. I can understand why some people might feel that is an options, because it is so frustrating and painful, but like you I don't believe in physical discipline at this point and probably ever. If I am telling my DD not to bite, I don't feel like it's right for me to bite. I would rather parent by example.

I also have a biter. I litterally feel your pain. My dd has been biting since around 12 months old and still does. It is getting a little better as she gets older. There was a period of time that she was biting me several times a day and my husband and I had bruises up and down our arms, shoulders and neck. You are right it is just a stage. We do time outs now and my DD understands the concept of a "boo boo" and she knows that a bite=boo boo, but that still doesn't stop her. When my dd bites me I tell her she gave momma a boo boo, we don't bite and she has to go to time out. When she was too little for TO I would just put her down and ignore her for a minute. After her punishment (either TO or put down and ignore) I would pick her up tell her she was in TO for biting momma and giving momma a boo boo, then she would kiss me and say "all better". So I know she understands what happens when she bites, but she still bites now and then. There are some days when she doesn't bite me at all and some days I still get it 3 or 4 times. I just try to avoid her mouth when she is frustrated, angry or having a temper tantrum. The thing that gets me is sometime she just bites for no reason and I don't see it coming.

It really sucks and some days I just cried because it was constant and it physically and emotionally hurt. It will get better.