From "we don't want kids" to TTC. Anyone else?

GettinCrafty · September 2010

I'm a newbie here, and have spent some time reading what others are thinking about and doing, and about where they are in terms of TTC or having children. My DH and I came to the realization fairly recently that we want to TTC. We've been in the solidly "no kids" camp for some time, then spent a few years on the fence. And, well, here we are. I just went off BC last week. We're officially TTC.

I'm writing because I want to connect with others here who are excited and nervous, but are also very new to the concept that "my future will include having children."

Some background, since this is my first post: DH and I have been married for 9 years and together much longer. I'm in my early 30s and DH is mid-30s.

Firefly9 · September 2010

Congratulations on TTC! Everyone will tell you to sign up for Fertility Friend, which is REALLY useful--read the lessons, chart your morning temps, etc. You can sign up for it by clicking on anyone's ticker. You might not ovulate right away off BC, so do a lot of lurking and reading, and find out about your own cycle. It's kind of fun!

NMscubagirl · September 2010

When I was in my early 20s I was pretty sure I did not want kids. When I met DH we were not solidly against it, but neither one of us were jumping up and down for them. We both decided that we would consider it later but it was not an imperative for us. Then slowly we started wanting kids and now we both have baby fever. It really snuck up on me, but now I think I always wanted them, I just didn't want to base my life on something I may not get. DH and I are both early 30s. Welcome to the board and GL!

GettinCrafty · September 2010

Thanks, M_C_ for the congrats and the tip! I just signed up. It seems a bit overwhelming at this point, but useful I'm sure. And thanks NM Scuba. It sounds like I'm in good company here!

Sweets11 · September 2010

I've always known that I wanted to be a mother eventually, but before we were married I told DH I'd rather adopt. He was OK with it.

We are still very open to adoption (and are thinking about starting the process in the next 6 months to a year if we can afford it at that time) but we will also continue to try for a biological child as well.

gorby007 · September 2010

welcome! I can't say that I've been in your position...I've wanted kids since I was younger than I can remember. Interestingly enough though, I know some couples who have gone the reverse of what you're saying. A friend of mine and her H started ttc and then after a few months they decided that they actually didn't want kids, they like being "just the 2 of us".

EMF9903 · September 2010

I never thought I wanted kids and when I met my now Husband he thought he never wanted kids and we actually thought we were sucha great match. As we've grown together both of us just kind of started talking about that we might want a baby someday then it turned into we definitely want one after we got married (Just got married in June) so here we are trying. We've even started saying maybe we'd like more than one (I was a bit naive in thinking it would be so easy to get pregnant....) So we're working on one for now and we're both pretty excited about it! Twins run rampant in my family so who knows maybe we'll get 2 He turns 30 on Saturday and Im 29.

Good Luck to you!!

kissyfitt · September 2010

I've always known that I wanted a child (as in one. I'm doing this once and that's it). However, we didn't want to get pregnant right away. We were 21 when we got married and wanted alone time for a year or two. But then I went back to school so we had to wait until I graduated.

Now I've just graduated and I'm 30 and it's all systems go. So we literally went from trying to avoid getting pregnant to actively trying in a matter of weeks.

baloneydisc · September 2010

You guys sound like us

I'm 31, DH will be 38 next month. We've been married 11-yrs. We originally decided not to have any kids, but it was for medical reasons (I'm bipolar & didn't think I would be able to survive without my meds). We have now been TTC for 17-months, but haven't told anyone except my parents.

Jessynlove · September 2010

welcome.

I have wanted children since I was 3 yrs old....and the urge has just increased to an unbarable pain radiating throughout my body. I am 24 and married...and it hurts to think it may not happen.

tigerhearted · September 2010

For most of my adult life, I was pretty sure that I didn't want kids. Being with my hubby, healing from past traumas, and spending time with his niece and nephew brought me back around to wanting kids (when I was a kid, I had wanted them). We've had the baby bug for a year, so the concept isn't super new to us anymore, but I definitely know where you're coming from.

We went off BC in June. Welcome and good luck!

MrsSM · September 2010

I always desperately wanted to be pregnant, I just didn't want to have the kid after Big Smile . But I also knew I would never have been able to give one up, or I would have been a surrogate.

DH has always wanted kids, and I just couldn't picture nearing the end of my life and not having at least one.

But it is just recently that I am actually feeling ready enough to have a child and give up my own self-centered ways in lieu of baby-centered ways!

march2008 · September 2010

Hi and welcome!

Originally, my DH and I thought we didn't want to have kids, either. I never had the "baby fever". I've always liked children, but wasn't a fan of the infant stage. I started having a change of heart when several of my friends started having children and then it made me think a lot more about my decision. Luckily, my DH and I both had the change of heart together! We decided earlier this year that we'd like to start TTC and have been trying since May. It's going to be interesting once I get pregnant because now most of our family and friends have no clue that we've decided to have a child!!

mc0226 · September 2010

I'm like you I absolutely did not want any kids ever from the time I was little. I am an only child and I just never saw kids in my future. When DH asked me to marry him we had a long talk about not having kids because I was sure I did not want any....well a few years later we have 2 and are TTC baby #3.

They change your life completely all for the better. I can't even imagine my life without my kids and I wouldn't want it any other way. Best of luck to you and your DH!

ccam · September 2010

Welcome and GL!

rescueddogmom · September 2010

Welcome! My story is similar to your story in that we were sure we didn't want kids, then we weren't sure either way, and then we finally started TTC this summer. We are both in our early 30s and have been married for three years. I started to feel nervous about my age and afraid that if I waited too long, I wouldn't be able to get pregnant. The first year and a half of our marriage were somewhat rocky, but things have really come together for us in the past year or so. I think the fact that our relationship is stronger than ever and the fact that our financial and job situations have finally come together were the impetus for us to start TTC.

It's still very scary at times because it's a big change from what we've been saying for the last six years. But it's very exciting too! I've only told my best friend that we're TTC, so people are certainly going to be shocked since everyone thinks we're never having kids!

Temp878586125009588 · September 2010

Welcome and GL to you! DH has always wanted to have kids, but when we were dating and when we first got married, I had no interest in having children, but then, I changed, and I think that can and does happen all the time. Now I'm looking forward to the day I find out I'll be a mom!

yale · September 2010

We were you guys a few years ago. Then we decided it was time. We have a 1-year old DS now and can't wait for #2!

GettinCrafty · October 2010

Thanks everyone! TTC is a really happy and good, but odd-feeling, transition for us. And we want to keep in on the down low (not telling a soul!) until we're ready to announce we're pregnant. So being able to say it here is a REALLY good feeling. It's also great to know I'm not the only one who never thought she'd have kids. Thank you, again.

mabst196 · October 2010

In my early 20s, I wanted nothing to do with having children. After we got married, something clicked over and I was all about it.

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