TTC after a preemie ? — The Bump
Preemies

TTC after a preemie ?

Did having a preemie change your timeline for subsequent children? Originally DH and I wanted 2 or 3 children a couple years apart. However, now that we have Jack I am not going back to work because we didn't want to risk putting him in daycare. So our thoughts are that since I'm going to be a SAHM that maybe we should start ttc sooner than we planned so that the baby making phase can be over with (for lack of better words) and then I can go back to work.

I can't wait to be pregnant again. I was one of those crazy people who actually liked being pregnant. We are thinking of start ttc when Jack is about a year old. This would of course depend on our financial situation and whether or not Jack has any special needs. Anyone else?


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Re: TTC after a preemie ?

  • I would say it's delayed us a bit - I had to get a cerclage and Andrew was so high needs as an infant.  We wanted to have 3, but now we might stop at 2, unless 2 goes really smoothly...
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  • I don't think it really changed our timeline much. I think having a kid in general made us want more, so we're TTC a little earlier than we would have, but we always wanted 2u2 or close to it, so we're not too far off. I think IF has impacted our TTC much more than having a preemie has. 
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  • Because of Rh complications, I can't be pregnant anymore but I don't think it would have changed our timeline otherwise. We always wanted 5 kids and 1 1/2-2 yrs apart.

    Since our situation has changed, we are considering a surrogate and since that will take a long time, our kids will be much more spaced out than we originally thought, and we may not be blessed with as many as we had originally hoped for.

    Mom to 2 beautiful girls, 3 yrs and 22 months old. My 2nd was born at 32 weeks due to Rhogam failure/severe complications from Rh disease and is our miracle. She has bilateral auditory neuropathy and a cochlear implant, activated 4/5/2012 at 19 months. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Good questions...it's actually one I've been turning over and over in my mind.

    I was high risk with both of my pregnancies.  I lost my first at 20 weeks, and my LO is currently 11 weeks old (adjusted age 3 weeks).  The pregnancies in both cases were very difficult for me, but we didn't know why until I had Beaux in July, after an emergency c-section at 31w1d.  I have a unicornate uterus, and it sent me into labor.  My OB says that, should I choose to get pregnancy again, the baby will come around 31-33 weeks again, and it would be the same scenario (c-section & NICU) again. 

    That being said - my husband is adamant that we're through, although I know I could change his mind if I wanted it enough.  He said he worried about me and the baby constantly.  In fact, I almost died on the delivery table. The truth is, though, as much as I'd love to have a baby girl, I don't know if I want to go through the physical, mental, and emotional hell that come with a high risk pregnancy, then another NICU stay.  I guess it all boils down to one fact:  I'm terrified of a repeat of either of my pregnancies. The loss of my oldest son was devastating, and the fear of losing my baby during birth or in the NICU just really has me rattled when the thought of pregnancy enters my mind.

     But part of me...just a little, mind you...hope that I develop that "pregnancy amnesia" I hear seasoned mommies talk about, and gives me the courage to try again.

  • I don't know if having a preemie has changed our TTC timeline, but it has changed my thoughts on number of children.  If things go smoothly next time, we'd consider #3, but if #2 is a preemie, we are for sure done.  It does make me a little sad to think that the next pregnancy could easily be my last. 
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  • Our whole experience has changed our views completely. We originally wanted to have 2 kids back to back and now I don't know if we will be daring to go through with it again. We may end up adopting our 2nd.
  • i agree with shannon - it was more our IF that changed things than our preemie experience. we were always going to start TTC when DS was 1, and that's what we ended up doing.

    i did have a hard time when DS was between 6-9 months. i couldn't imagine loving another baby as much as i love him, and part of me was resentful of the not-yet-conceived-child for having an easier experience than DS did (i had a previa, so not likely to reoccur). the closer we got to a year, the more comfortable i was with it (with the help of the ladies on this board!).

    if i was a SAHM, we probably would have started earlier, but that's because daycare was our huge expense to consider.

  • image morganore:
    Our whole experience has changed our views completely. We originally wanted to have 2 kids back to back and now I don't know if we will be daring to go through with it again. We may end up adopting our 2nd.

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  • I guess I didn't mention that I had an abruption. I can totally see that if it was something like pre-e or IC that would most likely happen again how that can change things. We were lucky in that we had no problems getting pregnant, but was the staying pregnant that was difficult! I guess we'll see how I feel once DS is home.

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  • It did for a while - we always wanted 2 or 3 children.  However, after DS was born I claimed to be done.  I had constant morning sickness and even though DS did amazingly well, the NIcu as you know is aweful. Mainly I had a doc appt the morning I had ds and everything was fine as it had been at every appt. then I had ds that evening.  I was scared that I would be scared all the way through my pg that I could have the baby at anytime.  That has passed a little bit (at around 18 months) and I'm 90% now that I would like another. 

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  • I was ready to be pregnant again at 8 weeks pp! But then DS wasn't a "real" preemie if that makes sense. We had a 10 day stay in NICU, he was never really sick, he just needed a little extra help to get up and running. Then we just needed to get feeding sorted before we could go home.

    Our experience in NICU was relatively wonderful. The nurses and doctors were fabulous, caring, supportive, bossy, so incredibly knowledgeable and amazingly generous with their time. I feel like I had a better start to motherhood than the Mums downstairs in the regular ward!! The night before we left hospital they forced DH and I to leave and go for a meal together as it would be our last chance for ages!

    So yeah, I'm amped to have another. DH though has always thought about our first being 4 or 5 before we have another so I'm not really sure what's gonna happen there. Time will tell!!

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