Thoughts on private school?
Mrs.Hizzo
member
I started wondering about this after reading this article.
https://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/09/28/rs.one.only/index.html
The author is talking about her decision to only have one child. She mentions a few things that factored into it, and a big one is money (of course). One of the financial hardships she talks about is private school tuition and she gives the figure of 32K a year.
I'll admit, this leaves me scratching my head. First, let me say that we are lucky to live in an area with decent public schools, so for us, private schooling would be a choice, not a necessity. But, I have a difficult time understanding why someone who really wants a second child (as the author says she does) would deny themselves the opportunity based on the cost of private schooling. (For the record, the author cites many other valid points, such as her age and her husband's lack of interest, so it's not like her decision is based solely on that.)
I guess my question is, are you considering private school for your kids? If so, what do you anticipate the cost being per year? What are your reasons for choosing private over public? And, if you wanted a larger family but knew that private school tuition would be too cost-prohibitive, would you consider local public schools or moving to another area that had better public schooling?
Re: Thoughts on private school?
No, I wouldn't pay for private school. We have been very picky about where we live so that we can be in a good school district. I would rather pay more for a nicer house in a good area. I wouldn't live in a bad area where I needed to consider private school.
$32k is ridiculous. You could put a kid through a private college for that cost. That's like $400k for 13 years of school. Ridiculous. My husband and I talked private Christian school which is still like $5k a year. We have decided to homeschool at least through elementary school and if we feel like it is better than public school at that point, we might put them in PCS. We'll see. I would rather have the money for college/retirement, but my kids' needs come first. I can say that I would never have only one child so I could spoil them (yes I consider spending $32k on school spoiling them). I'd rather have the 3-5 that I want and live a less lavish lifestyle.
But to each their own I guess.
Noel - August 2010
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That amount of money is just ridiculous to me too. My son goes to a private Catholic school. Our public schools here are okay but I just wanted better opportunities for him. In the private school they start instrument lessons in 3rd grade instead of middle school, Kindergartners have a longer recess (which I think is important for a 5 yr old), They start foreign language in Kindy, DS is in the school play at his school which they don't even do in the public elementary schools here. My list goes on and on. It was just the right choice for our family and our needs. We only pay around $4,000 a year though.
I think people should just do whatever fits for them.
We will more than likely send DD to private school and are prepared for it to be $8k to $15k per year. The private school I attended was $10k/year when I was there and is now around 20k per year - definitely at the top end of the range for private schools in our area.
DH and I think it is important to live in the city instead of in the 'burbs, as we think this lifestyle within itself is terribly educational and has a lot to offer on diversity and seeing the big picture of life. Although we could find a better public school district if we headed out to the outskirts, we would then be loosing some of the things we find most important about city living.
I don't think spending a lot of money on a superb education is "spoiling" your children. I don't think there is any amount of education that can equal spoiling, just a little side note.
And about whether or not the cost of private school is worth not having another child for...well, I can argue both sides. First I can go back to my firm belief that the fact that public schools (collectively) blow so badly that people are often times HAVING to use private schools if they want to give their child a fighting chance in life is really effed up. That issue seriously needs to get remedied. But since that likely isn't going to change (depressing), I suppose it is a really personal, no answer is right, tricky decision.
For people like us, who really really want to live where we are (thus can't rely on the public school system), i think it is most responsible for us to consider the price of school when considering having another child. However, I suppose I can argue that we could just get over our preference for residency and move away from the city to a better school system and not have to worry about money for school.
An interesting conversation without a simple solution. A good education shouldn't have to cost this much more many people. Again...depressing.
I would consider it. The local private school (where my husband went growing up) is moderately priced and is known for academic excellence and I'd have no hesitation sending my kids there.
That being said, I would absolutely not restrict my family to a certain number of kids to be able to afford private education. If I want 3 kids and I can't afford to send 3 kids to private school, then we would likely move to another area with better public schools. If we couldn't, I still wouldn't do that. At the end of the day it is my job (not a teacher's) to make sure they have the tools they need to be successful. Sure, a good school helps, but I really think that involved parents are what make or break a child's future.
Okay, so this prompted me to look into tuition of different private schools because $32k sounds like a lot.
The best Catholic high school in our area (St. X) has a tuition of about $10k. The best private school has a tuition of about $18k. Andover and Exeter are both around $40k but those are super-elite schools and include room and board. (although maybe you have to "donate" to get in...IDK. It's not in the cards for us)
Anyway, as a previously working mom, I can see how people would pay a lot of money for a shorter commute and more time with their families, even if that meant private school, and maybe even if it meant not being able to have another child. Moving out the the burbs has its problems.
I would not choose not to have a child, so that I could pay for private school. I have known many kids who went to private school, some are sucessful, some are not, some are happy, some are not. Almost everyone in my high school went to college including 1 kid to each Harvard, Yale, and Princeton, probably 90% of us have a college degree. We moved to a good school district for our kids. Unless they have specific issues, like bullying or learning disability, I would expect they can get what they need out of public school.
I do know several people who do private school because it saves them a lot of time. They have better aftercare, a different peer group that requires less parental supervision, ect.
While we chose in a neighborhood with good schools, I totally get this line of thinking. I mean I would love to have more kids but DH really doesn't want to risk our lifestyle in any way and thinks 2 kids are plenty of joy and love. In our discussions, he had mentioned stuff like the vacations we take every year, the flights to visit family, our gym membership and spa costs, our dinners out weekly with getting a babysitter. Everything gets more expensive with more kids especially as they get older. So while most people would say that we could afford more kids and they say that "they'd never limit the number of kids they had so that they could vacation more", we have decided that we don't want to have to limit anything and more might make us have to do that. So whether it's private school or vacations, if there is something you are not willing to give up, then I think it's smart to stop having kids when you think the cost might be more than you are able or willing to pay.
Would I change my lifestyle to be home with my kids if I had to? Absolutely, but I wouldn't have more kids if I couldn't afford the lifestyle that I wanted for those additional kids in the area that I wanted to live even if it was an expensive private school.
We plan to have two children. That decision is based on a few factors, one of which is the financial factor of raising a child. For us, that includes private high school, at least. We live in an area where we can send our children to public elementary and maybe middle, but not high school.
I think it is a very smart thing to think through these things and make them part of the decision about how big your family will be. I don't see the problem here.
ETA: To answer your other questions...we are budgeting $20,000/year for high school for each child. That is about 15% above the current tuition at DH's alma mater and its sister school, where we plan to send our kids for HS. We would not consider moving, because that would mean moving to another county and a long commute for DH, which wouldn't work for our family.
As a proud product of private schooling, yes, I am considering private school for DD. We'll look at the private and public options and go from there.
The cost per year looks to be about $3K. Note there is no 0 after that 3. We consider that to be a manageable amount of $ (basically the equivalent of a car payment) if that's the option we go with.
I would never consider a private school that would cost as much as college tuition. So it would never be a factor in my family-building decisions.
Another product of private school. Growing up in Philadelphia- sending us to public school was just not an option my parents were willing to do. They had three children and made HUGE sacrifices to send us to private school (my mom was a SAHM- and my dad a mailman)- My education is something i am very proud of- my parents gave me 12 years of private schooling- and that helped me (among other things) get into a very good college on full scholarship. Personally i truly believe that things would be quite different if i went to the public schools in Philadelphia (especially the ones where I grew up).
DH and I have talked about private schools and already looked into them. We live in a decent public school system- but we are not sold either way as of yet. The school we were looking into was about 16k for 1st grade. (nuts- i know)
the decision- would NEVER impact our family decision making however.
We are not planning on private school for our kids unless it's necessary. DH and I both believe in the public school system. I am a product of the NYC Public School system and I received a great education in a not so great system.
DH went to a private school that is now $26K a year. We just can't afford to send 3 kids there unless I go back to work, and if we deem it necessary, then we'll do so.
Our school system is good. Our HS is in the top 100 in NJ. But, who knows what will happen when our kids are ready to attend.
we have an aquaitance who is only having 1 child so they can put her through Monterossi (sp?) school.
I seriously don't get it.
We moved into a great school system and pay a shitload of taxes, so she's going public. To me, it's not necessary. My brother lives in a failing district, so his kids HAVE to go private they don't want to fall behind.
Honestly I would only consider private school if our public schools were really bad. Even then I would look into other options (like homeschool coops). I can't imagine $32K a year!
With 4 kids, private school isn't even an option for us. We have great public schools here, and I'm excited for my DD to start Kindergarten there next year.
(m/c 1.17.07, m/c 5.15.07)
DS - 03.15.08
DD2 - 12.03.09
DD3 - 3.28.11
No. But we are suburb people. If it was important for us to live in the city where the public schools blow, then yes we would probably have to. We are living in a decent district right now, but we're planning on being in one of the top ones before DD turns 4 - we now have pre-k in the public schools and it's not income restricted. As far as the family size, I think everyone has to weigh the pros/cons for their own families. For us, we'd move to somewhere more reasonable and adjust spending if we wanted more children. Not a question. A second child would trump a fancier private school for us.
Oh and I've read posts on other boards where they chose to not have more children so they could completely foot college bills and such. We don't anticipate being able to pay in full for any child - we'll do what we can, but that wouldn't factor into our decision to have more or not. Right now we're debating if we ever want another child and the finance side isn't even a consideration. We'd make it work.
We have great public schools, so I'm not thinking about private school for DD. Also, personally, I think I benefited from going to public school with kids from all different backgrounds. Sure, you have a few scholarship students at a private school, but it can be pretty sheltered from the "real world."
If I wanted a large family (which I don't), I would definitely move to a place with good schools and cheaper housing. Where I grew up in Maine is a good example.
Thank you for writing this. This is my answer exactly! We pay 10k for school right now {1st grade}, but that will increase to around 18k-20k in middle school/high school. We've chosen to live in the city because we like the lifestyle, but we also wanted to go to the school she's at now. So we chose not to move into a school district and pay taxes for a school we wouldn't be using. This has factored into our decision not to have more children until now. It wasn't the only thing, but it did make us think.
Totally random comment, but I see you're from Nashvegas. I'm about to go up for a visit at Ensworth. We're thinking about a move to Nashville and that's my dream school. We have a number of friends who have kids there and at Harpeth Hall. Nashville has some great private schools.
:::another private school product raises her hand::::
I went to a Protestant Christian school. I'm not sure how much my parents paid, but I know for certain it wasn't 32K.
My parents were/are very middle class, and sent 3 kids at one time. It should be mentioned, however, that my hometown of Kansas City, MO has a pretty low cost of living.
Our first choice is homeschooling. Our second choice is Protestant Christian school.