Self-Centered Friend - VENT
ashleywebber
member
So I have a friend who is probably one of the most self-centered people I've ever known. I try hard to be her friend, but it gets frustrating a lot. The problem is that she is one of these people who thinks that the world revolves around her, that she is the only person who has ever gone through anything, and complains about her life in every phase ("If I could just be at home, things would be great." "If I could just go back to work, things would be great.").
Since before 36 weeks she has been complaining about wanting to have her baby (even though her 2nd child came at 36 weeks and had to be in the NICU). These last 4 weeks she has constantly complained about how unfair it is that she has to still be pregnant ("Ummm you aren't due until October 1st"), how frustrated she is because she is going to possibly be induced ("No one else has ever been induced before I guess"), and how unfair it is that she has to miss X,Y,Z ("It's part of being pregnant/a mom").
Not only that, but I check on her a lot via Facebook (I don't want to call constantly as I know she probably wouldn't want the annoyance) and she tells me every single detail about her pregnancy and frustrations and never once asks me how I am doing (I am 35 weeks pregnant with twins). It's not that I want to tell her every detail, but I do think it would be considerate to just say, "How are you doing?"
I have had these issues for years, but I am the type that tries my best not to give up on people and be their friend. My husband says I should cut my ties. I just needed to vent. Thanks!
Re: Self-Centered Friend - VENT
I would just back away. I've had to do that to a few friends in the past, including my BFF. She dated my BIL, they broke up, and all I got to hear was her whining about how bad things were, ect about my BIL. I really couldn't take it and became "unavailable". Things are a lot better now, and we can actually have a conversation without her bringing him up.
I think I am just going to quit talking to her. I try too hard. She's that way in every area of her life. I think it would be harder to talk to her than to just pull away. I guess it's the straw that broke the camel's back that she can't say, "And how are you doing?" when I am also pregnant. I don't mind hearing every detail of someone's life, but I think it is considerate to at least ask someone about them as well. Give and take.
I, too, had a friend like this (could this all be the same girl??)...anyway - I tried to talk to her and it DID NOT GO WELL. She got super defensive, continued to complain about her life so much that I couldn't get a word in, and instead of being sincere, it was, "I'm sorry, I don't know what you want me to do, I never make anyone happy..." one of those apologies. I've since had to just do what the other posters suggested - just back away. It's hard, because you do really care, but don't check up on her everyday. She'll live w/out you, and you'll feel better because she won't be stressing you out.
GL!