Open letter to co-irker

Dear Co-irker,

Please flush the toilet when you are finished with your business. I understand that it is only #1 and that you say you are trying to conserve water, but this is disgusting. Do what you like in your own home, but in a place of business it is not acceptable. Don't get annoyed when I enter the restroom when you are done and you hear me flush the toilet before I even sit down. Maybe I am going to go #2 and I don't want your bodily fluids splashing my lady bits. It is disgusting. Please stop.

Oh, and if you want to save the environment, try using an appropriate amount of toilet paper. You do not need 35 squares for a #1. There is no reason an office with three women should be going through 2 rolls of toilet paper a day. And on that note, if you do use the last of the toilet paper, please proceed directly to the supply closet to grab another roll for the next person that goes in there. Nothing chaps my a$$ more (pun intended) than sitting down, starting to go and then realizing the you have completely picked the roll clean and I am left with nothing. Not even one little shred left on the roll. I have lots of time to ponder my revenge while I wait to drip dry and you do not even want to find out my ideas. Thank you.