PT Daycare? When will the tears stop? — The Bump
Working Moms

PT Daycare? When will the tears stop?

My DD is in daycare/preschool 2 days a week and she is not adjusting well. She's getting a tiny bit better each time we go but the drive there and dropoff are really rough for her and it's killing me! Her daycare is in the building where I work so I can peek in on her without her knowing I'm there.

This morning I saw her on the playground sitting at the table with a teacher and a few other kids and she was crying the whole time. Going back to my desk was such an awful, helpless feeling. At lunch I checked in with her teacher and she said DD was unhappy but that she was laying down for naptime. She also said that DD has been crying off and on all morning asking for me.

How and when will I know if it's the right place for her? I know all kids are different but what is a reasonable amount of time to try before looking into other options? Two months ago she was in a home daycare, also 2 days a week, where she got a ton of love and affection so I think she's in complete shock being in a bigger place with more kids and less love. It's breaking my heart. I really appreciate and advise.     


Re: PT Daycare? When will the tears stop?

  • Which visit is this for her?  I do think it takes time.  What was your reasoning to move her?  I do think it takes time.  I also think that you might be able to help by asking her what some of the things the other kids did that day and talking them up or maybe asking the teacher for some upcoming activities to help talk them up prior to going.  If she is dreading it and sees that this is making an impact on you she will probably continue to play that tune.  But if you redirect into some of the experiences she might be able to have, it might help. You may already be doing this, just throwing it out there.

    My 3 month old had a rough start to day care but I did feel like when I was more upbeat, so was she.  Much different age, but still had an effect.  GL, that can't be fun at all, I feel for you! 

  • She's been there a total of 14 days spread out over the past 2 months, so really it hasn't been very long. I'm very careful to be 100% positive about "playschool" and we talk it up, read books about preschool, and I talk about the other kids, the crafts and artwork they do there, etc.

    I sent her with a picture of her Dad and me so she can carry it around with her. I think it helps a lot and she seems to be ok until the morning when we actually go. Poor baby, I think it will just take a long time since it's only 2 days a week. But, a small part of me can't help but wonder if it's the teachers and the school itself that may not be right for her. Thanks for the advise!

  • I also work p/t and had a very similar situation. We had been bringing him to a public d/c and he was not getting any nurturing at all...he cried all day everyday. It was breaking our hearts. After some incidents that we could no longer tolerate, we pulled him.

    We found a wonderful woman who is in-home. She's older and extremely nurturing. After 2 days, he is SO happy there it almost hurts my feelings that he took to her so fast! It is wonderful. I will never put him in the public setting's just not for him, or us.

    He goes there twice a week and then one day a week my cousin watches him in our home. We are so much less stressed now. I pay more, but it's worth it. We had to look around and get referrals from friends and do a lot of brainstorming, but it was all worth it in the end.


  • I know some people on this board are against in-home daycares and I'm not sure why because my DS is very happy at his daycare.  He gets held a lot, and lots of love and attention. I started him in daycare at 10 1/2 months old, which is the peak of separation anxiety, and he adjusted beautifully.  I'm sorry you're going through this, but is it possible to move her back to the home daycare where she was before?  And/or have your s/o drop her off and you do the pickup?
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  • Thanks for the responses ladies. We may need to rethink the center situation. We could go back to the in-home daycare so I think I'll give it a little more time and go from there. 
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