NTTGPR - Etiquette Question

mrsbaker1128 · September 2010

My boss and his wife were married in Florida in July and are having a reception for friends and family in the next few weeks. My co-workers and I weren't sure if we should get them a gift? They lived together a year beforehand and, to our knowledge, aren't registered anywhere! He says she doesn't want to do any decorating or anything of the sort until the buy a home next year. What's proper etiquette on this? TIA!

Gregermis · September 2010

I don't know if this is proper etiquette or not, but especially if it is an office gift... a gift certificate might be nice... then they can use it anytime they want.

catahoulatte · September 2010

Yikes! IMO, if you guys are going to the reception, I would pool together for a couple of nice bottles of wine. Always my go-to when I am not sure what to get for someone. Also, always appreciated.

sapphire1983 · September 2010

My wedding etiquette gut says you always buy a gift. I've brought gifts to just receptions before. It kind of sounds like he might be asking for you to not give a gift. I don't know...

karaknr · September 2010

I think it's a personal decision. My theory is if they are paying for a party, I can bring a gift. But I think the "official" etiquette on it is if you werent invited to the wedding a gift isnt necessary.

My philosophy on all things present related: When in doubt, just buy a gift. Plus it's your boss so it wouldnt hurt to earn some extra bonus points with him. I wouldnt go over the top, maybe even just do a gift card to bed bath and beyond or Pottery Barn. I always look up names on the Target registry cause a TON of people who are getting married register there, even if they dont tell you they are.

ermaderma · September 2010

I would treat it as a normal wedding and give cash. In my area, registries are usually for bridal showers and then cash is given at the wedding.

Since they are paying you to eat and drink, I would give them cash.

Ricola · September 2010

I would get a nice card that everybody signs and a visa gift card that they can use however they'd like. No matter if they want to use it in a restaurant, home improvement store or for whatever, they can choose.

sapphire1983 · September 2010

CatahoulaMom:
I would pool together for a couple of nice bottles of wine.

I think this is a great idea!

tigerhearted · September 2010

I would just ask them if they are registered anywhere. If they're not, I'd write a check or do a gift certificate.

WifeofMrA · September 2010

if you're planning on going to the reception, I wouldn't go empty handed and would bring a gift.

I don't think it matters that they were married beforehand. I've been to some receptions locally and the bride and groom were married in a destination wedding etc and brought a gift.

mrsbaker1128 · September 2010

Thanks, ladies! We decided to go w/ the cash or gift card idea! We're going to see what our co-workers at the other branch want to do!

cburitz · September 2010

Yes. Are you invited to the reception? If so, it would be appropriate/expected to write them a check. If you are not invited, I would get a small gift (like a personalized picture frame)

brockli · September 2010

At my office when anyone has an occassion we typically just buy a card and everyone signs it and people can just put cash in as they decide. That way if people maybe didn't budget for it they just do what they can.

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NTTGPR - Etiquette Question

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