- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
TTC After a Loss
ButterflyDreams
member
Introduction and question
ButterflyDreams
member
We lost our son in May and we think we're ready to try again. Is it normal to feel so guilty? How did you ladies get over the guilt?
Apollo-Max was born @ 30 weeks and he was in the NICU for 7 weeks. He made it home but past away after only a week at home. His autopsy report stated that he was a healthy little boy that came out of prematurity perfectly and didn't have any defects. Somehow he developed pneumonia that hit him hard and his body couldn't fight it.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Introduction and question
I am sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board, I remember doing the Names in the sand for your son, my husband asked if you were filipino I don't know how why he asked that but for some reason he did. What part of California are you from? Anyways I think through time there will be less guilt but sometimes it can be overwhelming atleast for me it is. I don't think I will ever be over the guilt but it gets better through time.
BFP #1 - 04/09/10 -- m/c - 07/02/10 @ 20weeks and 3 days. D&C 07/02/2010 - EDD 11/16/10
BFP #2 12/17/10 please stick turtle. EDD 8/29/11 - Emergency C-Section 7-2-11. Andrew's journey
Congratulations to my TTCAL buddy Carolee on her BFP! Stick, baby!
Congratulations to elbandas09, cherylanddoug, tctibbe(MsPegees) and alliejoe for their take home babies!
BFP-2/4/10 EDD-9/27/10 M/C-2/11/10 7w3d D&C and Methotrexate-2/19/10
BFP-11/21/10 M/C-11/25/10
Clomid Cycle #1-BFN
Clomid Cycle #2-BFP-1/18/2011 M/C-1/26/2011
BFP-5/18/11 Riley arrived 2/3/12 8lbs6oz 21.5in
My Life
BFP 7.7.09 - CVS 9.10.09 (Girl) - 9.24.09 Severe Fatal Malformation - D&E 10.7.09 @ 17wks
BFP 6.1.10 - 6.10.10 Ectopic M/C @ 5wks
BFP 10.26.10 - 10.29.10 CP
BFP 1.30.11 - CVS 3.28.11 (Girl) - EDD 10.11.11 - Born 10.6.11
BFP 12.18.12 - 12.20.12 CP
BFP 3.18.13 - CVS 5.21.13 (Girl) - EDD 12.2.13 - Born 11.24.13
BFP 6.10.14 - CVS 7.2.14 (Girl) - EDD 1.12.15 - Born sleeping 8.6.14 @ 17w5d
I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.
I think your feelings are completely normal. Time helps. A lot.
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
my blog
b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
PAIF/SAIF Welcome
Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
Homestudy 7/19/2011
IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frosties
I'm so sorry for your loss. Huge hugs.
I started thinking and planning TTC even before our son was gone. The guilt is there, but desire for a take home baby is soooo overpowering. For me, nothing could get in the way.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
6/14/10 BFP; 6/30/10 Dx ectopic
11/16/10 BFP #2; DD born 7/26/11
So very sorry for your loss.
I am new here too (but welcome anyway) and had heard (now found) this is a wonderful board full of amazing women.
I am so sorry for your loss of Apollo-Max. ::hugs::
As for getting over the guilt, I just tell myself that a take home baby will never replace or make me forget about the babies I have lost. That I will always love them...
If you get a chance, please click on the link in the bottom of my siggy--it's our TTCAL blog and has a lot of great info.